You've Done What, My Lord?: Hilarious tales from a country estate
Rory Clark - 2000
However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.
Rolling with the Punchlines: A Memoir
Urzila Carlson - 2020
Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.
Hal Spacejock Omnibus One
Simon Haynes - 2012
Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.
Eat Less Cottage Cheese and More Ice Cream: Thoughts on Life from Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck - 2003
The result was a classic column full of Bombecks signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life: If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life.But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.
How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet
Michael Cunningham - 2020
And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.
Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger (Shingles #4)
Drew Hayes - 2018
Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.
Checking Inn
Emily Harper - 2013
Make sure the caterers don't serve devil's food cake to the Christian Women's Alliance- check. Tell my mother that having a séance to get rid of any unwanted spirits in the kitchen during dinnertime is not okay- check. Send a friendly reminder to all staff that the pens are colour coded for everyone's enjoyment, and therefore it is not a good idea to put them all in one jar in order to spice things up as was anonymously suggested- check. But, when an acclaimed hotel critic dies at the Inn, just before she's about to publish a scathing review that would ruin the business, Kate's life and checklists are thrown into disarray. And it doesn't help matters that the detective assigned to the case is messy, unorganized, and too charming for his own good. Now Kate has to prove her innocence and save her Inn, or else the only thing that she'll be organizing is the prison's next bake sale.
Sister Agatha: The World's Oldest Serial Killer
Domhnall O'Donoghue - 2016
During a routine check-up, however, her doctor claims she has just a week to live, news that proves to be quite inconvenient, seeing as the beloved sister has one ambition in life: to be the oldest person in the world. At last count, she was the fifth. However, never one to admit defeat, Sister Agatha concocts a bold Plan B. Dusting off her passport, she decides to leave Irish shores for the first time in her very long life, and using the few days remaining, plans to travel across three continents and meet the only four people whose birthday cakes boast more candles than hers. And then, one by one, she intends on killing them. What the media is saying: "Domhnall [has] some mind...When they say 'comic thriller', this book does what it says on the tin...There is so much in it to enjoy...It works really, really well." ~ Gerry Kelly, Late Lunch, LMFM Radio Interview: http://utv.vo.llnwd.net/o16/LMFM/2016... • • • "A laugh-out-loud, globe-trotting adventure that is wildly unique with an enormous amount of heart. And despite Sister Agatha being a considerable 118 years of age, the naughty nun still has more energy than a school playground! One of the year's best débuts." ~ Jennifer Zamparelli, presenter of 2FM's Breakfast Republic
Archie Meets the School Gyrls (Archie, #607)
Archie Comics - 2010
Will the “School Gyrls” collaboration with the Archies be a chart-topping hit or a resounding dud?
You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Ridiculously Funny Stories By Real Cops
Mike Edwards - 2016
So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.
AKBAR AND BIRBAL: TALES OF HUMOUR
Monisha Mukundan - 2015
In this lively collection, learn how an ordinary young man, Mahesh Das, became the beloved Raja Birbal we all know today, and how he uses his famous wit, time and again, to build a ‘celestial palace’ for Emperor Akbar, order a census of crows, trap a thief using a magic bamboo, and much more.Replete with wisdom and wit, and brought to life by Tapas Guha’s beautiful illustrations, this clever collection of stories also offers valuable life lessons hidden beneath its humour.
Boom Box (Duck & Cover Adventures Books 1-3)
Benjamin Wallace - 2017
Join the Librarian as he strives to make the post-apocalyptic world a better world. Protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, etc… Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not. The Boom Box includes: Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors (Book 1) An army of savage raiders have their sights set on the town of New Hope and the people there need help. So, when two heroes offer their assistance, one is invited to stay and the other is sent back into the wasteland. Did they choose the right man for the job? Find out in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors. Knights of the Apocalypse (Book 2) A price on their heads has driven the post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior, Erica and their loyal mastiff west in search of a new beginning. But when their truck breaks down in what was once southern Colorado they are swept into an epic quest at the behest of King Elias, ruler of the Kingdom of the Five Peaks. The adventure that began in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors, continues here in Knights of the Apocalypse. Pursuit of the Apocalypse (Book 3) The bounty hunter Mr. Christopher has kidnapped Erica and The Librarian and his dog, Chewy are desperate to get her back. Be a part of the greatest chase the apocalypse has ever known in this exciting sequel to Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors and Knights of the Apocalypse. It’s the end of the world as you've never known it.