Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    So when his most recent girlfriend dumps him via messenger, and he can't stop staring at the messenger's cock while he's breaking the news, Tristan figures it's about time he makes some changes. He formulates a foolproof plan to get himself someone who can show him what he's been missing -- until who should crash his little adventure but Officer Michael Truax, the man who gave him a really expensive ticket for boarding without a helmet back when he was in high school.Michael has been trying to catch Tristan for years...to give him a second ticket. Suddenly he's faced with his 'Sparky', all grown up -- and looking to get laid. The habit of protecting him isn't gone completely, but the opportunity is too much to resist. He figures the kid must know what he's getting into, so he takes him home. There, they carry on a cautious dance, only to find out that neither is what the other expected, and that together, they're hot enough to melt glass. Publisher's Note: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable: Anal play/intercourse, male/male sexual practices, violence.

    There, she discovers the passion missing from her sensible life in the arms of a handsome stranger. She returns home, where no one suspects she possesses a secret wild side — no one except the one-night stand standing in her parents’ dining room.This cautious woman bears little resemblance to the brazen temptress who left an impression on Griff Dunleavy’s flesh, but he recognizes the sensual nature hidden behind the meek facade. He makes an indecent proposal: a fling in which Ivy plays all the parts cut from her everyday existence, which should supply enough variety to keep him intrigued for a while.His offer is too enticing to resist — and too good to last. When Ivy’s reality demands full-time responsibility, the time for fun and games is over. To keep his place in her life, Griff must prove they can have forever… one hour at a time.

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    get a Christmas tree! It's a simple enough task for any normal person. When he takes his three best friends along for the ride, Geordie, Robbo and Flaky... then nothing is simple... and no-one is normal.This Christmas it's different at the Harding house. They've invited their best friends and children to enjoy the festivities at their home in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales-at least, Will's wife has. Will is not entirely confident he can survive a week in close proximity to his dysfunctional friends.His wife has been asking him for days to buy a Christmas tree, but he insists a tree should only be brought into the house on the day before Christmas.As Christmas Eve arrives, it's time for him to get a tree.He sets off with good intent, with his best pals to lend a helping hand. However, heavy snowfall, the lure of English country pubs, and a disgruntled Lord of the Manor throw a massive spanner in the works. Add to that, Geordie's propensity for stupidity, Robbo's fondness for wacky-baccy, and Flaky's insufferable lecturing-well... what could possibly go wrong?Five adorable, innocent little children await their tree. Will it be delivered? And do they even care? The kids have one thing on their mind - Santa! However, the Santa which appears in the garden later that night is not the one they were expecting.Can Will and his pals save Christmas from becoming another disaster, or will it turn into a bleak mid-winter?Download now and find out!A feelgood Christmas read that will fill your stockings with laughter!A Shooting Star Series Novella

    A lost island. Mysteries and dangers. No access to email. And the spirit of fierce, feral competition that lives deep in the heart of every girl, a savage brutality that can only be revealed by a journey into the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Oh, the horror, the horror! When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they struggle to survive, to get along with one another, to combat the island's other diabolical occupants, and to learn their dance numbers in case they are rescued in time for the competition.

    Melinda Gold is a young mother whose desire for position in the neighborhood is at odds with her upbringing by her ultra conservative mother. The same mother who makes life hell for Melinda's son, Patrick; Cassie Bloom is the grand dame of Jasper Lane, living on a cul du sac and doing her best to annoy Melinda. But she has a secret of her own regarding her missing husband and son that only a few, including the transsexual Vera, know about; Rick has just moved into the neighborhood and has immediately fallen for the ex-Army man, James. Will he find the courage to go after what he wants?; Terrence, Rick's good friend, has found out he has a son from a one-night stand years before where he dallied with heterosexuality; and the perfect couple Steve and Sandy have run into a rough patch which forces Steve to find employment in the porn industry. All these stories interlock and play out in a brightly comic way with gay porn parties, sexually confused animals, and dead bodies all being thrown in the mix. It may not be perfect, but it sure is fun!

    Shane is the opposite of Mason in every way, he's beautiful, athletic, and lives his life to the fullest.Sparks fly when the polar opposites come together, but it will be up to the bookworm to shut down his e-reader and go after the beauty if he wants to love someone outside the pages of a book.

    Laid off at his job and at odds with his ultra-conservative boyfriend, Micah, he's searching for something to fill the empty spots. When he meets Ben Gallagher, a cake decorator, Jamie knows he's found a friend. Taking a chance, Jamie turns to art for his new career, and Ben becomes his muse. He creates an entire show based on the man who is always there for him. The problem with Ben is that he's been hurt by love in the past, and might not be willing to risk his friendship with Jamie for something more. Can Ben get past his fear and see that all that Jamie has to offer before it's too late?

    Jay and Jackie uproot their family of four from San Francisco after Jackie loses her job but finds a lucrative new one in St. Petersburg, Florida. Jay, a one-time copywriter and aspiring author, now plays househusband, caring for his troubled thirteen-year-old son and precocious daughter as they adjust to their new life. As his children begin to assert their independence, Jay realizes that the challenges of child rearing are only going to grow more difficult in the teen years. Through a series of misadventures and run-ins with his narcissistic older brother, his lunatic childhood friend, and his increasingly estranged but beloved son, Jay learns that he must tap his own vulnerabilities if he is to be the rock of stability his family so desperately needs. Overflowing with pathos and humor, The Daddy Diaries is a memorable take on contemporary fatherhood and a clear-sighted look at how the upending of traditional marital roles can affect the delicate balance of familial love. In his third and best novel to date, Joshua Braff vividly evokes the unpredictable dance that families do, and captures how they similarly ebb and flow.

    Not only is he on a new diet, but he's also been tasked with keeping Henry Page -- the world's most irritating witness -- alive. Which is tough when Mac's a breath away from killing the Shakespeare-quoting, ethically-challenged, egg-obsessed Henry himself. Unless killing isn't really what Mac wants to do to him.Con man Henry Page prefers to keep his distance from the law . . . though he wouldn't mind getting a little closer to uptight, handsome Agent McGuinness. As the sole witness to a mob hit, Henry's a valuable asset to the FBI. But he's got his own agenda, and it doesn't involve testifying.When evidence surfaces of a mole in the FBI office, Mac and Henry are forced to go into hiding. Holed up in a fishing cabin, they're surprised to discover that their feelings run more than skin deep. But as the mob closes in, Henry has to make his escape. And Mac has to decide how far he's willing to go to keep Henry by his side.* * * * * * *The Playing the Fool series should be read in order for maximum enjoyment.Word count: 56, 500; page count: 228This is a second edition originally published by Riptide Publishing. No content changes have been made.

    Way, way, way out there!Drew Lawson is racing against the clock. He's got a twenty-four-hour window to authenticate the mummy of Princess Merneith. If he's not at his boyfriend's garden party when that window closes, it'll be the final nail in their relationship coffin.The last thing he needs traipsing on the final shred of his patience is brash, handsome reality show host Fraser Fortune, who's scheduled to film a documentary about the mummy's Halloween curse.The opportunity to film a bona-fide professor examining the mummy is exactly the aura of authenticity Fraser needs. Except the grumpy PhD is a pompous ass on leave from his ivory tower. Yet something about Drew has Fraser using a word he doesn't normally have to draw upon: please.With no time to waste -- and a spark of attraction he can't deny -- Drew reluctantly agrees to let Fraser follow his every move as he unwraps the mummy's secrets. Soon they're both making moves behind the scenes that even the dead can't ignore!

    But Flower is a sentient ship that's been traveling the galaxy for 20,000 years and has her own opinions about how her inhabitants should conduct themselves.I wrote Independent Living because readers of my EarthCent Ambassador series were always asking what happens in the galaxy where the Stryx aren't around to watch every second. The answer is, about what you'd expect. In terms of the EarthCent universe, Independent Living would be the seventeenth book in the sequence, but it can be read as a standalone.