A revisionist storyteller provides his mad, hilarious versions of children's favorite tales in this collection that includes "Little Red Running Shorts", "The Princess and the Bowling Ball", "Cinderumpelstilskin", and others.

    But she doesn't know how weird until she catches him peeling off his face -- and realizes that "Mr. Smith" is really an alien! At first no one will believe her except Peter Thompson, the class brain. When Peter and Susan discover Mr. Smith's horrible plans for their classmates, they know they have to act fast. Only they can get rid of their extraterrestrial visitor -- and save the rest of the sixth-grade class from a fate worse than math tests!

    A bulletin board fell on Stanley during the night, and now he is only half an inch thick! Amazing things begin happening to him. Stanley gets rolled up, mailed, and flown like a kite. He even gets to help catch two dangerous art thieves. He may be flat, but he's a hero. This is the very first Flat Stanley adventure, updated with crisp new art.Supports the Common Core State Standards

    "Get off!" said the rat. But the fat cat just sat. Will the rat get the fat cat off the mat? Enjoy reading this silly story aloud for maximum effect!Find out if rat can get cat off the mat in this funny, phonetic Level One I Can Read that's perfect for kids learning to sound out words and sentences. With repeating sounds and words, beginning readers will grow their reading confidence as they laugh about the cat and the rat and their sibling-style squabble.

    and Mrs. Rogers tell her. ...But somehow things never turn out quite right.

    And now readers can also search for Woof, Wenda, Wizard Whitebeard, Odlaw, and much more—all newly added to this special edition!

    You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    First off is making pizza, but Robot only likes nuts and bolts and screws on top (good thing he has magnetic hands). Next on the list is watching TV, but the remote is missing, and Rabbit is panicking! Will Robot find a logical (and rather obvious) solution to the problem? Number three is . . . uh-oh! Why is Robot lying down instead of playing Go Fish? And what is that message reading "BAT" printing out from a slot on his front? An adventure about a rabbit who likes to be in control and an obliging robot who calmly keeps their friendship humming.

    What's left to do? Nothing! Ten seconds of nothing! Can they do it? Can they act like stone statues in the park? Can they simply hold their breath and not blink an eye? With a wink to the reader and a command of visual humor, feature film animator Tony Fucile demonstrates the Zen-like art of doing nothing...oops! Couldn't do it!

    Kids and adults will delight in this bone-chilling, classic tale.  In this spooky, horror-filled picture book, a strange varmint haunts the woodsman who lopped off his tail and had it for dinner.

    and Mrs. Watson, Mercy is not just a pig — she's a porcine wonder. And to the portly and good-natured Mercy, the Watsons are an excellent source of buttered toast, not to mention that buttery-toasty feeling she gets when she snuggles into bed with them. This is not, however, so good for the Watsons' bed. BOOM! CRACK! As the bed and its occupants slowly sink through the floor, Mercy escapes in a flash — "to alert the fire department," her owners assure themselves. But could Mercy possibly have another emergency in mind — like a sudden craving for their neighbors' sugar cookies?

    There is only one problem . . . Frog thinks Fly is delicious! This leads to a never-ending battle of wits with laugh-out- loud consequences. Told in six short comic stripstyle chapters, Frog and Fly will delight kids and leave them begging for yet another slurpy story.

    There may be obstacles! But have no fear—a true ninja can overcome all challenges.

    Their doggy day becomes even more wonderful when they discover a mother lode of bones! But when the bones magically arrange themselves as a T. rex, the dogs find themselves running once again, this time away from the giant skeleton.

    I mean, how could a book eat people?So if you're just dying to know the history of this literary monster, all you have to do is turn the page...Don't do it!