Box Set: The Dragon Sea Chronicles


Brian Ference - 2018
    Sea Serpents. Pirates. Dragons. Follow Darek of the Red Claw Clan through this three book box set, a young sailor crossing blades with ruthless pirates and warring clans. As his hidden powers grow, first in his natural ability to commune with sea dragons, so too does his uncanny dragon-riding skill and sudden bursts of psi power. Yet a foul wind blows across the serpent deeps, bringing with it a former apprentice, Cyrus, a forsaken sorcerer who wields terror and death. The Dragonclaw Islands are thrust into the brink of war as Darek struggles to find his path, unlock his skills, though alienated from his sister and parents. Is he destined to become the Mage Reborn? Ever more does he realize he must stop the tides of war, bring order to clan and family while the rising menace of Cyrus lurks unseen. Taken under the wing of the ailing Dragon Mage Agrippa, Darek uses his powers to unite the Dragon Riders against the growing swarm of sea serpents controlled by Cyrus’s forbidden magic. The fires of rebellion, stoked by a Pirate Queen, plunge the Islanders into an all-out war among dragons, sea serpents, and monsters of the deep. But are Darek’s powers enough to combat these foes, especially when he is linked to the pirates by blood bond and their beautiful queen? Dive into this world of adventure, imagination, and danger that fans of Dragonriders of Pern, Eragon, Dragonlance, Dragon Blood, Dragonvein, Temeraire, and Dragon School will love. Scroll up and one-click to buy this box set today while the introductory price lasts!

Slip and Go Die


Sharon Rose - 2012
    A terrible accident say the local police. But why did Beulah leave her cabin without a coat? It was thirty below in Parson's Cove. Someone must have forced her, amateur sleuth, Mabel Wickles suggests to her friend, Flori. Nobody seems to know anything, and Mabel is becoming frustrated.When Mabel witnesses some strange goings-on one night in the vacant house next door, she perks up. A person or persons unknown appear to be using the empty house for nefarious purposes. Could they be connected to Beulah's death? Mabel suspects they might and she sets out to investigate.But Mabel should be cautious. One unsuspecting resident of Parson's Cove has already slipped and died. She might be next.

Clovenhoof's Diary: September


Heide Goody - 2018
    And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

Begin to Exit Here


John Welter - 1992
    In this "terminally irreverent" ( "Richmond News-Leader" ) novel, he finds himself taking on everyone from his editor and his girlfriend to the fundamentalists and vegetarians covered on his beat - and along the way, learns some surprising (and hilarious) lessons about life, love, and the press. • Welter's "I Want to Buy a Vowel," also a Berkley Signature Edition, was named one of "Booklist's" Best Books of 1996. • Great reviews in the Berkley Signature Edition tradition. • The author has been compared to everyone from John Irving to Jonathan Swift, Frank Capra to Carl Hiaasen, John Kennedy Toole to Dave Barry.

Duck Duck Wally


Gabe Rotter - 2007
     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

Return to the Big Fancy: A Riotous Descent Into the Depths of Customer, Corporate, and Coworker Hell


Freeman Hall - 2012
    But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!

Vinnie's Head


Marc Lecard - 2007
     And when his childhood buddy Vinnie bails him out of jail, he agrees to partake in a scam Vinnie has put together that will make them all rich. The only problem is: while out fishing one day Johnnie reels in the biggest catch of his life... Vinnie's head on the end of the fishing line. Now mafia types, bounty hunters, and Vinnie's girlfriend are after him, and Johnnie LoDuco doesn't have a clue as to why. Plus, they all seem to want Vinnie's head, but Johnnie seems to have misplaced it in an ice cooler--and if he wants to live he needs to get it back.

Flushed: A funny short story


Svingen and Pedersen - 2018
    What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, all combined with a twist of Nordic Noir (human folly, abrupt and plentiful deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

Drive Like Hell: A Novel


Dallas Hudgens - 2005
    Taught to drive at the age of ten by his father, Luke can do more damage with a stick and a clutch than most men can do with a bottle of whiskey and a lousy mood. He counts down the days to his sixteenth birthday when he can finally get his license. Unfortunately, the first thing he does with it is "borrow" his neighbor's car. When Luke is pulled over and found in possession of an air pistol, a ski mask, a stolen TV, and a bag of pot, the unforgiving local magistrate takes scissors to his license and vows to lock him up if he ever stands in front of her again. As Luke's mother explores bad relationships and the lure of vodka, Luke moves in with his older brother, Nick, an easygoing ex-con who wants to steer Luke onto the straight and narrow. In the gnarled, muggy summer that follows, Luke contends with a lovely kleptomaniac girlfriend, a duffel bag full of cocaine, and the realization that he must save his family from themselves even as he plots to beat a path out of town. Dubbed the "Great American Redneck Novel" by Big Fish author Daniel Wallace, Drive Like Hell is a hilarious one-of-a-kind tale set in late '70s Georgia, complete with stock car racing, honky-tonk dancing, pro wrestling, drug dealing, and syndicated television. Dallas Hudgens brilliantly evokes Southern culture in this unforgettable debut that is raucous and wrenching, funny and wise.

If Clouds Were Sheep: A tale of sheep farming in the Cotswolds


Sue Andrews - 2019
    She is a horse-mad girl strongly attracted to the idea of farming, Aubrey is the son of a farm manager without land or money. But with limited knowledge, much enthusiasm and the challenge of raising their young family, anything can happen. This is the true story of a shepherding life; where icy nights are spent searching for lost sheep, the lambing sheds are filled with the first cries of newborns, and idyllic summers are spent in the show ring. Amusing, poignant and beautifully detailed, this is a book about how dreams can grow from small beginnings into breeding prize-winning Texel sheep in the Cotswolds. Sue and Aubrey Andrews are internationally renowned breeders of pedigree Texels. Perfect for fans of The Yorkshire Shepherdess and The Shepherd's Life.

The Adventures of Charlie Smithers


C.W. Lovatt - 2012
    Make way for Charlie Smithers.The time is the nineteenth century. The place, the Serengeti Plain, where one Charlie Smithers – faithful manservant to the arrogant bone-head, Lord Brampton (with five lines in Debrett, and a hopeless shot to boot) – becomes separated from his master during an unfortunate episode with an angry rhinoceros, thereby launching Charlie on an odyssey into Deepest Darkest Africa, and subsequently into the arms of the beautiful Loiyan…and that’s where the trouble really begins.Maasai warriors, xenophobic locals, or evil Arab slavers, the two forbidden lovers encounter everything that the unforgiving jungle can throw at them."A truly engaging read that will keep anyone’s attention from the hilarious beginning until the last word. I highly recommend this 5 star novel." ~ Chapters & Chats

Tales Around the Jack O'Lantern III: A Mary O'Reilly Short Story


Terri Reid - 2016
    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.

Emerilia Series Box Set One


Michael Chatfield - 2019
     Austin Zane leaves behind his CEO position with RB Corp to play Dave, a half-dwarf in the Virtual reality game Emerilia, trying to escape his life. What Dave doesn’t know is that Earth as he knows it, is really a virtual reality simulation and Emerilia is a world imbued with futuristic technologies to mimic early MMORPG’s. He just wanted peace and quiet, to build a house, do some fishing, to take some time to find himself once again. What he found out instead was a cause, he found out the biggest lie of his life. He found out the truth about Emerilia and the lies of Earth. What's the best way to control slaves? Make them think that they're free.

The Deepest State: A Satirical Epic


Oliver Willis - 2018
    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

8 Deaths (And Life After Them)


Mark Watson - 2021