This licensed, collectible sheet music edition allows pianists to apply their own talent to this melancholy masterpiece by one of Hollywood's most acclaimed composers.

    Now Zombie Steve, too nice to abandon young Beep, has to play babysitter on a new quest to reunite the precocious child with his worried parents. But there will be spiders, silverfish, a miner and even a friendly wolf or two along the way.Zombie Steve knows he needs to do the right thing and bring Beep to his parents, unfortunately, his parents are avid zombie hunters!Will Zombie Steve be able to return Beep home by protecting his own (zombified) skin? Read “Beep” to find out.A hilariously written page turner, this book would be the perfect gift for Minecraft lovers of any age.Disclaimer: This book is a work of fanfiction; it is not an official Minecraft book. It is not endorsed, authorized, licensed, sponsored, or supported by Mojang AB, Microsoft Corp. or any other entity owning or controlling rights to the Minecraft name, trademarks or copyrights.

    One of Britain's most enduring and famous comedians tells us in his own inimitable style the fascinating and often hilarious story of his life. From disclosures of very painful personal tragedies to extraordinary and outrageously funny anecdotes about the stars he knew, his confessions are blisteringly honest, touching - and often shocking. Crying With Laughter combines heartache with hilarity, sexy showbiz revelations with genuinely moving tales of the hard times, and typically funny jokes with sobering personal reflections, to create a passionate, witty and sparkling account of an extraordinary man's extraordinary life.

    Your new-found wisdom will help you to impress your friends, frustrate your enemies and win every argument. Henry VIII had six wives- WRONG! Everest is the highest mountain in the world- WRONG! Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone- WRONG! Everything you think you know is- WRONG!

    Until you have to move back in with your mum . . . Dan and Gemma have found their dream first home, but the asking price is the stuff of nightmares. The only way they'll ever save enough for the deposit is by moving in, rent-free, with Dan's mum. It's a desperate solution, but it's only for six months. And Gemma's determined to make it work, no matter how bad things get. But between Dan's mum's kitchen karaoke, her constant innuendos, irrepressible argumentative streak and - worst of all - her ham and pineapple curries, life back at home would test the patience of two saints. Which Dan and Gemma most definitely are not. Then, as they're trying to convince themselves it will all be worth it, Gemma's past comes back to haunt her. And suddenly the foundations of their entire relationship are shaken to their core… Praise for The Time of Our Lives:'Funny, sexy and moving - a hilarious holiday romp with a heart. I loved it' Sophie Kinsella Praise for Jane Costello:'Jane Costello is one of our favourite authors' Cosmopolitan'Close the doors, open a bottle of wine, get out the chocs and enjoy this wonderfully witty read. Jane Costello at her best' Milly Johnson'Packed with likeable characters and witty one-liners' Sunday Mirror'Riotous … thoroughly enjoyable and laugh-out-loud hilarious' Heat

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Working a series of heinous crimes, Zach uncovers a dark, treacherous secret – a conspiracy that could alter America’s future and result in the secession of Texas. Co-authored by P.A. Troit and bestselling writer Joe Nobody, Secession explores a world where a hopelessly gridlocked government fuels an ever-deepening divide between right and left. The public’s frustration with the country’s direction forces desperate leaders on both sides of the political spectrum to consider splitting the union.Based on actual historic events, current economic realities, and a growing global trend, Secession immerses the reader in a lifelike scenario that could be America’s future.

    Spending three decades in love with a wonderful but unattainable man is pretty high up on her list of missteps, as is a long line of unsuccessful love affairs accompanied by a seemingly endless supply of delicious cocktails.When the young bride flees—taking with her a family heirloom and leaving behind six hundred bewildered guests—her mother offers Margo fifty grand to retrieve her spoiled brat of a daughter and the invaluable property she stole. So, together with the bride’s jilted and justifiably crabby fiancé, Margo sets out in a borrowed 1955 red MG on a cross-country chase. Along the way, none of what she discovers will be quite what she expected. But it might be exactly what she’s been seeking all along.From acclaimed humor writer Jane Lotter comes this madcap, laugh-out-loud adventure, The Bette Davis Club. Revised edition: This edition of The Bette Davis Club includes editorial revisions.

    These peculiar outlooks bring to life the unique world of Peter Kay like never before. The Book That's More Than Just a Book - Book invites you into a world of suspect characters and awkward situations. Here you will meet Peter's family, their friends, some familiar faces, and some completely unexpected ones. Chock full of brand new material and crammed with photographs and illustrations, creating one of the funniest books you're ever likely to read.

    Which should be around 65 million people in the UK alone.Matt Forde has been obsessed with politics ever since he was 9 years old. Raised by a single mum on benefits in inner city Nottingham, he joined the Socialist Workers Party as soon as he could, foisted issues of Marxism Today on innocent bystanders and attended his first political party conference. From then on, despite some career suicide moments such as chatting to the Prime Minister at Number 10 while badly drunk, Matt's whole future looked wedded to the Labour Party as he started working for MPs in dingy back rooms in Nottinghamshire.But then Labour started to fall apart, and so did Matt's sense of purpose. With the rise of Corbyn, Brexit and Trump, his love for politics that had been so profound began to quickly crumble.Exploring themes such as tribalism, the curse of complacency and why some politicians refuse to speak normally, Politically Homeless is a hugely entertaining book of (often hilarious) personal stories and thought-provoking insights into this complicated world. And despite everything, Matt's passion is still there. Through hosting his award-winning weekly podcast, 'The Political Party' (over 5 million downloads) involving interviews with some of politics' most powerful and notorious figures including Tony Blair, Nicola Sturgeon, Sadiq Khan, Michael Heseltine, Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg and performing critically acclaimed stand-up comedy shows, Matt has been able to keep enough faith that politics will get better. Maybe.

    She is a cheerful and happy-go-lucky single girl who just happens to be a dominatrix with a dungeon in her flat where she services clients with flogging and extreme correction and (if she's lucky) gets the occasional slave to pay her for the honour of doing her vacuuming. When she's not delivering 30 lashes to the sensitive parts of religious zealots or doing step aerobics in stilettos on the buttocks of retired army officers, she is just trying to get on with the neighbours and make her flatmate, Dan, realise that in spite of what he may think of her job, she could just be the girl of his dreams (and not just his nightmares). This is a refreshingly funny and joyfully rude sitcom that proudly celebrates sex, nonconformity, and doing the wrong thing.As an Audio Show - free for members - when you add Slaving Away to your library, you'll get all 6 episodes, each with a runtime of about 30 minutes.©2016 Miranda Kane/Unusual Productions (P)2016 Audible, Ltd.

    /ka?/A piece of meat; born to breed; past its sell-by-date; one of the herd.Women don’t have to fall into a stereotype.The Cows is a powerful novel about three women. In all the noise of modern life, each needs to find their own voice.It’s about friendship and being female.It’s bold and brilliant.It’s searingly perceptive.It's about never following the herd.And everyone is going to be talking about it.

    He was raised in a beautiful, chaotic, cramped, colorful, and legally dubious guesthouse where his parents fed and watered Iranian nationals flocking to the UK for medical treatment on the NHS. Over 20 years, almost 2000 "cousins" passed through the Djalili's doors, and the young Omid played translator to each. Although these years taught him a lot about the rich tapestry of life, this parenting by committee led to a slightly checkered school career which saw Omid taking his A levels a record six times, and eventually fake his own university entrance papers. Desperate to be free of his cramped living quarters he escapes to the University of Ulster, where he lives a life of wonderful solitude. Full of the warmth and intelligence that makes Omid such a successful comedian and sought-after actor, this memoir takes us on an incredible and laugh-out-loud funny journey through an unusually British life.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Share the author’s emotions when being surrounded by enemy anti-aircraft flak, when having to crash land twice, during occasions when the aircraft’s response was violent and uncontrollable, when having a large turkey buzzard crash through the windscreen into the cockpit when the aircraft was 200 feet off the ground and traveling nearly 600 mph, just to mention a few of those memorable occasions the author shares.Along the way, the readers are given vivid accounts of the joys and delights, the fears and terrors, the frustrations and fulfillments, the thrills, intensity, and humor involved in the fighter pilot’s unique life, and the special and inseparable bond that exists in the fighter pilot community. The author’s account is also deeply personal as he shares his opinion of the top leadership, both civilian and military, during the Vietnam War. His criticism is shared by the vast majority of those who fought in that war, and includes the leadership’s lack of understanding of the enemy, a prime requisite when going to war, their lack of will to do what was necessary to win, a prime requisite when going to war, and worst of all, their unconscionable willingness to allow the U.S. military to suffer substantial losses in personnel and resources by fighting a war they were not allowed to win.The author’s pride in being part of the fighter pilot community can be summed up by the final phrase of a poem about military aviators written by an unknown author that goes, “Because we flew, we envy no man on earth."About the Author:Darrell Ahrens is a former U.S. Marine, Air Force fighter pilot and operations staff officer, high school teacher, and pastor. He holds degrees from Chapman University, Boston University, and Fuller Theological Seminary, as well as diplomas from the Armed Forces Staff College, the Air War College, and the National Defense University.