Texts from Dog II: The Dog Delusion


October Jones - 2013
    

Butterfly Brain


Barry Cryer - 2004
    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

Working from Home with a Cat


Heidi Moreno - 2020
    With colorful art and oh-so-relatable scenarios, Working from Home with a Cat takes readers through a day in the life of artist Heidi Moreno and her pet cat Peanut. From the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed, she navigates working with her needy yet loveable feline companion, as Peanut walks over her paintings, hogs her chair, disrupts her yoga routine, and more.Despite all the struggles, cats like Peanut are always by our side when we need them, even on the hardest, loneliest workdays. Working from Home with a Cat reminds us why cats are the cutest colleagues and a source of comfort and calm in this chaotic world.• Perfect gift for any cat owner• Features funny and heartwarming scenarios anyone who has tried to concentrate at home with a cat has experienced• For readers who like How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, Herding Cats by Sarah Scribbles, and You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats by Francesco Marciuliano

God's Favorite


Neil Simon - 1975
    Just when it seems things couldn't get any worse, he is visited by Sidney Lipton, a.k.a. A Messenger from God (and compulsive film buff) with a mission: test Joe's faith and report back to "the Boss." The jokes and Tests of Faith fly fast and furious as Neil Simon spins a contemporary morality tale like no other in this hilarious comedy.

Bald as I Wanna Be


Tony Kornheiser - 1997
    30,000 first printing."

Girls Don't Poop: Lessons in Anatomy, Hygiene and Sexual Promiscuity


Jen Ashton - 2011
    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

Khushwant Singh's Joke Book III


Khushwant Singh - 1992
    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother


Lois Wyse - 1988
    The perfect book for the Nana of today, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!

Jerktastic Park


Darby Conley - 2014
    The Get Fuzzy gang is back! Bucky the arrogant cat, Satchel the clueless pooch, and Rob the exasperated human make up one crazy and hilariously entertaining household. Collecting the cartoons from The Birth of Canis and The Fuzzy Bunch, this treasury is a rollicking read full of Bucky's signature bullying of Satchel and Rob's inability to keep the peace.

No Encore for the Donkey


Doug Stanhope - 2020
    Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The sharks of Hollywood were circling, and Stanhope’s pockets were filled with chum. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.First came the booze, then came the pills, then came the stripper, and then, Doug came. A tryst aboard a cruise ship leaves him literally and figuratively adrift when his scorned wife, Bingo, reveals she is in love with another man: a jug-sippin’, guitar-pickin’ hobo. A simple, black-out fling turns out to be a pebble tossed into the lake of you-know-what named 2016, and in No Encore for the Donkey, Stanhope traces the resulting rings.Written and performed by Stanhope, his third memoir follows the veteran comedian on a quest to save his marriage, his wife, and eventually his wife’s life. Our hero's journey finds Stanhope cuddling with Johnny Depp in his Los Angeles mansion, receiving some much-needed TLC from Marilyn Manson, and - most daunting - building a new hour of comedy in the rusted-out hellscapes of post-industrial America.Equal parts love letter, road romp, and harrowing condemnation of the failures of America’s mental health care system, No Encore for the Donkey is a hilarious and heartbreaking account of a man balancing on the edge of damnation. With Bingo in a coma and Trump about to be elected, Stanhope sifts through the ruins of his own personal cataclysm in order to answer the big questions: What does it mean to love someone when you can’t love yourself? What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with? And is the end of the world BYOB?

Pete, Drinker of Blood


Scott S. Phillips - 2012
    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

Magnificent Bastards


Rich Hall - 2008
    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

Driving Me Nuts!


P.J. Jones - 2011
    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

Isn't it well for ye? The Book of Irish Mammies


Colm O'Regan - 2012
    She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.

Flowers and Floral Patterns: 60 Full Page Line Drawings Ready For Coloring (Adult Coloring Books Book 2)


Sue Taylor-Cox - 2015
    Your colorful pictures of flowers will produce a stunning flower art book that you can be proud of.In recent years coloring for grown-ups has become a widespread and growing hobby. There are of course many reasons for this, but here are just some... Coloring Lowers Stress And Anxiety Psychiatrists have long known that coloring relaxes the fear center of the brain and allows your mind to get some rest. In fact the founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, is known to have given his patients mandalas to color more than one hundred years ago. In today's hectic world the stress reducing properties of coloring are possibly more valuable than ever. Coloring Trains Your Brain To Focus Remaining inside the lines as you color needs focus and, while you are concentrating on this stress-free and relaxing activity, you can forget about your worries. Coloring is a mind exercise which allows you to put aside everything else for the time you spend coloring, and this is very important in our increasingly demanding world. Coloring Helps In The Development Of Fine Motor Skills And Vision Coloring forces the two hemispheres of the brain to work together and involves both the use of logic (necessary for coloring forms) and creativity (as we mix and match colors). In turn, this brings those areas of the brain responsible for fine motor skills and vision into play, and helps in keeping these active and in developing them further. It is this aspect of coloring which is being seen more and more as especially valuable for older individuals, as many in the medical profession believe that it can delay, or even prevent, the onset of dementia. Coloring Provides The Chance To Be Social Although you might feel that coloring should be a solo occupation, its rising popularity is quickly turning it into a social one. Friends, families, work colleagues and others are getting together to eat, drink and enjoy the chance to socialize, through their shared interest in coloring books. Without doubt, this is a perfect excuse for getting together, as coloring needs only a minimum of concentration and can easily be done in a group setting. Coloring Lets You Be Yourself There are no rules when it comes to coloring and your coloring book is your coloring book. If you mistakenly make the cat's back leg green because you mistook it for part of the grass, who cares? If you feel like making the sky yellow, what does it matter? You can be as creative as you wish because this is your coloring book, and yours alone."You may already be a convert to adult coloring, in which case you will already know and appreciate its value. This may however be a new project for you and one which you are considering for any one of several different reasons. If this is something new for you then I urge you to give it a try. There is a reason why so many people are fired up about the world of adult coloring, so join in and start enjoying the benefits for yourself today. IMPORTANT Please note that the illustrations in this Kindle book are deliberately of a relatively low quality in order to keep the download size of the book small.