The Miraculous Life of Maggie the Wunderdog


Kasey Carlin - 2020
    Maggie was shot 17 times and subjected to cruelty and torture, before being rescued from Lebanon and brought to live in the UK by a determined and loving young woman called Kasey.As Maggie struggled to overcome her injuries, every day was a fight to rehabilitate her. But Kasey was convinced that what she had found in this little dog was someone just as determined to live and love as she was.This is the incredible story of their journey together: a story of hope, unconditional love and never giving up.

Punching Tom Hanks: Dropkicking Gorillas and Pummeling Zombified Ex-Presidents---a Guide to Beating Up Anything


Kevin Seccia - 2011
    It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

Milk and Vine: Inspirational Quotes From Classic Vines


Adam Gasiewski - 2017
    Milk and Vine is truly a delight for the sensations, bringing back the riveting quotes we all laughed at together as a united internet community. From Ms. Kiesha to diesel jeans, this book encapsulates the most entertaining, nostalgic vines that are sure to have you laughing again. Keep the fire of authentic comedy ablaze in your home, and purchase a copy of Milk and Vine today.

The Fall of the Roman Umpire


Ron Luciano - 1986
    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

Confessions of a Bad Beekeeper: What Not to Do When Keeping Bees (with Apologies to My Own)


Bill Turnbull - 2011
    But when he saw an ad for beekeeping classes–after a swarm of bees landed in his suburban backyard–it seemed to be a sign. Despite being stung on the head–twice–at his first hands-on beekeeping class, Turnbull found himself falling in love with the fascinating, infuriating honeybee.As a new beekeeper, Turnbull misplaced equipment for months, got stung more times–and in more places–than he cares to remember, and once even lost some bees up a chimney. But he kept at it, with a ready sense of humor and Zen-like acceptance of every mishap. And somehow, along the way, he learned a great deal about himself and the world around him. Confessions of a Bad Beekeeper chronicles Turnbull’s misadventures (and brief moments of triumph) in the curious world of backyard beekeeping–and also highlights both the threat to our bee population and what we can do to help these vital little creatures do their wonderful work.

Uncle Boris in the Yukon: and Other Shaggy Dog Stories


Daniel Pinkwater - 2001
    Pinkwater begins with the tale of his colorful Uncle Boris, who sets off on a trek from Warsaw to the Yukon in search of gold. Along the way he strikes up a curious friendship with Jake, the lead dog in his team of malamutes, who, as it happens, converses in perfect Yiddish. This is the first in a series of delightful anecdotes that introduce a curious cast of canines, including a couple of wolf breeds, a Labrador retriever, a few more malamutes, a chow chow, a mutt, and even a Pekinese, among others. A "mordantly funny and smartly entertaining mix of memoir and fancy" (Booklist), Uncle Boris in the Yukon shows us a world where, though Pinkwater is top dog, it's the four-legged companions who steal the show.

I Hate Other People's Kids


Adrianne Frost - 2006
     From the dawn of time, other people's kids have found ways to spoil things for the rest of us. Movie theaters, parks, restaurants -- every venue that should be a place of refuge and relaxation has instead become a freewheeling playground complete with shrieks, wails, and ill-timed excretions. Now, I Hate Other People's Kids delivers a complete handbook for navigating a world filled with tiny terrors -- and their parents. It boldly explores how children's less- endearing traits have disrupted life throughout history ("And they say Jesus loved the little children, all the children of the world, but he never had to dine with one. He chose the lepers") and classifies important subspecies of tyke, from "Little Monsters" (Dennis the Menace, Bamm-Bamm Rubble) to the "So Good It Hurts" variety (Dakota Fanning, Ricky Schroeder in The Champ). Dotted with illuminating sidebars such as "Parents Think It's Cute, but It Isn't" and featuring tips on ingeniously turning the tables without seeming childish yourself, I Hate Other People's Kids is clever, unforgiving, and sidesplittingly funny.

Tales from the Dad Side: Misadventures in Fatherhood


Steve Doocy - 2008
    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

Mamma's Boarding House


John D. Fitzgerald - 1958
    A scarce Fitzgerald title.

My Life in Dog Years


Gary Paulsen - 1997
    In each chapter he tells of one special dog, among them Cookie, the sled dog who saved his life; Snowball, the puppy he owned as a boy in the Philippines; Ike, his mysterious hunting companion; Dirk, the grim protector; and his true friend Josh, a brilliant border collie.

Bad Guys of the Book of Mormon


Dennis Gaunt - 2011
    But for every good guy in the Book of Mormon, there is a bad guy as well—Laman and Lemuel, Korihor, King Noah, Amalickiah. We can learn lessons from their lives as well. Each chapter recaps the story from the scriptures, including the lessons not learned by the bad guy, and ends with a call to action by providing application ideas and questions to ponder. Written in a light, conversational style, this book for teens and young adults is filled with quotes from latter-day prophets and insightful personal experiences to illustrate some of the lifechanging spiritual lessons we can learn from the bad guys of the Book of Mormon. "I loved this book! I never thought that I'd like a gospel book, but this one was fun and actually written for young people. I read it in one sitting! I loved the humor ('Hello, Moroni. My name is Ammoron. You killed my brother. Prepare to die!') as well as the questions to ponder." —Amy, age 15

Travels with Casey


Benoit Denizet-Lewis - 2014
    "I don't think my dog likes me very much,"New York Times Magazine writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis confesses at the beginning of his journey with his nine-year-old Labrador-mix, Casey. Over the next four months, thirty-two states, and 13,000 miles in a rented motor home, Denizet-Lewis and his canine companion attempt to pay tribute to the most powerful interspecies bond there is, in the country with the highest rate of dog ownership in the world. On the way, Denizet-Lewis, known for his deeply reported dispatches from far corners of American life meets an irresistible cast of dogs and dog-obsessed humans. Denizet-Lewis and Casey hang out with wolf-dogs in Appalachia, search with a dedicated rescuer of stray dogs in Missouri, spend a full day at a kooky dog park in Manhattan, get pulled over by a K9 cop in Missouri, and visit Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan in California. And then there are the pet psychics, dog-wielding hitchhikers, and two nosy women who took their neighbor to court for allegedly failing to pick up her dog's poop.Travels With Casey is a delightfully idiosyncratic blend of memoir and travelogue coupled with an exploration of a dog-loving America. What does our relationship to our dogs tell us about ourselves and our values? Denizet-Lewis explores those questions and his own canine-related curiosities and insecurities during his unforgettable road trip through our dog-loving nation.

The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior


Xina Marie Uhl - 2013
    Humans have proved this by worshipping them as gods since the days of Ancient Egypt. But despite their clear superiority, felines continue to be frustrated with humans' bizarre actions and incomprehensible desires — until now. In The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior, the great feline humanologist Professor F.L. Uffy advises cats on how to solve some of their most difficult human-related issues:• Chase away your human's romantic partners• Increase your food supply• And more!What does your cat REALLY think of you? The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior reveals all--even why you refuse to groom yourself with your tongue!

Broken Bananah: Life, Love, and Sex... Without a Penis


Ross Asdourian - 2018
    Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

How to Raise a Jewish Dog


Ellis Weiner - 2007
    What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals ? does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.