I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame


Brené Brown - 2007
    Addiction, perfectionism, fear and blame are just a few of the outward signs that Dr. Brené Brown discovered in her 6-year study of shame’s effects on women. While shame is generally thought of as an emotion sequestered in the shadows of our psyches, I Thought It Was Just Me demonstrates the ways in which it is actually present in the most mundane and visible aspects of our lives—from our mental and physical health and body image to our relationships with our partners, our kids, our friends, our money, and our work. After talking to hundreds of women and therapists, Dr. Brown is able to illuminate the myriad shaming influences that dominate our culture and explain why we are all vulnerable to shame. We live in a culture that tells us we must reject our bodies, reject our authentic stories, and ultimately reject our true selves in order to fit in and be accepted.Outlining an empowering new approach that dispels judgment and awakens us to the genuine acceptance of ourselves and others, I Thought It Was Just Me begins a crucial new dialogue of hope. Through potent personal narratives and examples from real women, Brown identifies and explains four key elements that allow women to transform their shame into courage, compassion and connection. Shame is a dark and sad place in which to live a life, keeping us from connecting fully to our loved ones and being the women we were meant to be. But learning how to understand shame’s influence and move through it toward full acceptance of ourselves and others takes away much of shame’s power to harm.It’s not just you, you’re not alone, and if you fight the daily battle of feeling like you are—somehow—just not "enough," you owe it to yourself to read this book and discover your infinite possibilities as a human being.

Showing Our True Colors


Mary Miscisin - 2001
    Based on Don Lowry's True ColorsÒ model, you will discover tips for understanding, appreciating and relating to each style. Lighthearted anecdotes convey concepts in �real life� situations, offering immediately useful methods for resolving conflicts, opening lines of communication, and enhancing personal effectiveness. Convenient reference lists and a set of color character cards are included for easy determination of your True Colors spectrum. The end result is a celebration of the uniqueness in yourself and others.

Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse In Upscale Marriages


Susan Weitzman - 2000
     In "Not to People Like Us" psychotherapist Susan Weitzman dramatically challenges this assumption. It is the first book to explore a previously overlooked population of emotionally and physically battered wives-the upper-educated and upper-income women, who rarely report abuse and remain trapped by their own silence. Weitzman draws on an in-depth study to document the shocking nature and incidence of abuse among the wives of professors, physicians and CEOs-many of them professionals and executives themselves. With keen insight and profound sensitivity, she reveals the unique path taken by the upscale wife-the early warning signs, the dilemmas and decisions, the dangerous desire to cover up and maintain appearances. The first book to condemn the legal and social service system for failing to recognize domestic violence among upper-income families, "Not to People Like Us" offers crucial information to help women find their way out of abusive relationships and toward safety and independence.

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life


Amy Gahran - 2017
    Yet often, people assume that all healthy or serious intimate relationships must follow same trajectory. Fortunately, there are plenty of options. The “Relationship Escalator” is the bundle of social conventions for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together and much more, ideally until death do you part. If you wish to explore a different way of loving, it’s not always obvious what your options are, or where those paths might lead. Many people have stepped off the Relationship Escalator, to live and love in uncommon ways. In 2013-14, journalist Amy Gahran surveyed 1500 people about their unconventional intimate relationships: how those relationships work, how they feel, and why these people stepped off the Escalator. Participants shared moving, in-depth personal stories and insights. Over 330 individuals are quoted directly in this book (with permission). "Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator" explores how unconventional relationships might look and work differently from traditional relationships. Gahran identifies five main ways that intimate partners can step off the traditional Relationship Escalator. Off the Escalator, intimate relationships might be: - Nonmonogamous: Sexual/romantic nonexclusivity, with all-around informed consent. Polyamory, swinging, monogamish relationships and more. - Highly autonomous: Partners choose to not live together or otherwise prioritize their individuality over couplehood. - Egalitarian: Not defaulting to giving one partner, or romantic/sexual partners in general, top priority. - Nonsexual: Asexual people, and others, enjoy deeply intimate, committed relationships that never include a sexual connection. - Fluid or discontinuous: Sometimes intimacy is pause/play, or significantly shifts form, without a breakup or ending. This book aims to foster awareness and acceptance of relationship choice; to empower people to speak up for what they might want and find more ways to let love flourish. To not assume that love must look a particular way for it to be valuable and meaningful. At a point in history when divisiveness can seem overwhelming, finding more ways to connect with love can help us sustaining each other through tense times. This book is the first in a series. At least two more Off the Escalator books are currently in production: - (2017) What’s It Like Off the Escalator? 10 Common Questions About Unconventional Relationships - (2018) Off the Escalator, in the Closet: Navigating Stigma Against Unconventional Relationships More information about this ongoing project: OffEscalator.com

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse


Laura Davis - 1991
    She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.

Counseling the Culturally Diverse: Theory and Practice


Derald Wing Sue - 2019
    It examines the concept of "cultural humility" as part of the major characteristics of cultural competence in counselor education and practice; roles of white allies in multicultural counseling and in social justice counseling; and the concept of "minority stress" and its implications in work with marginalized populations. The book also reviews and introduces the most recent research on LGBTQ issues, and looks at major research developments in the manifestation, dynamics, and impact of microaggressions.Chapters in Counseling the Culturally Diverse, 8th Edition have been rewritten so that instructors can use them sequentially or in any order that best suits their course goals. Each begins with an outline of objectives, followed by a real life counseling case vignette, narrative, or contemporary incident that introduces the major themes of the chapter. In-depth discussions of the theory, research, and practice in multicultural counseling follow.Completely updated with all new research, critical incidents, and case examples Chapters feature an integrative section on "Implications for Clinical Practice," ending "Summary," and numerous "Reflection and Discussion Questions" Presented in a Vital Source Enhanced format that contains chapter-correlated counseling videos/analysis of cross-racial dyads to facilitate teaching and learning Supplemented with an instructor's website that offers a power point deck, exam questions, sample syllabi, and links to other learning resources Written with two new coauthors who bring fresh and first-hand innovative approaches to CCD Counseling the Culturally Diverse, 8th Edition is appropriate for scholars and practitioners who work in the mental health field related to race, ethnicity, culture, and other sociodemographic variables. It is also relevant to social workers and psychiatrists, and for graduate courses in counseling and clinical psychology related to working with culturally diverse populations.

Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones


Connell Cowan - 1985
    Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (Signet) [Paperback] Connell Cowan (Author), Melvyn Kinder (Author)

Being Dad: Father as a Picture of God's Grace


Scott Keith - 2015
    Dr. Keith brings his experience with family, students, great mentors, and friends to bear on a subject that is crying out for attention. Equally, he brings his Christian faith, a scholarly eye for detail, and an ear for story along on the journey and works with the reader to navigate a path to a better country where the Father blesses His children and is honored.

It's Not You, It's What Happened to You: Complex Trauma and Treatment


Christine A. Courtois - 2014
    Christine Courtois has simplified her extensive and, until now, quite scholarly work geared toward understanding and developing the concept of "complex trauma," and the assessment and treatment thereof. A universally acknowledged leader in this emerging psychotherapeutic field, Dr. Courtois provides here an abbreviated and easy-to-read explanation of what complex trauma is, how it develops, the ways in which it manifests, and how it can effectively be dealt with. The book opens with an explanation of trauma in general-providing historical perspective, examining the various types of traumatic experience, and looking in-depth at the chronic, repetitive, and layered forms of trauma that often build upon and reinforce one another to create complex trauma. Next Dr. Courtois discusses trauma-driven emotional turmoil, and trauma's effects on memory, self-image, relationships, and even physical wellbeing. She then provides readers with a basic understanding of the ways in which complex trauma is diagnosed and assessed, with an explanation of all common trauma-related diagnoses-including stress disorders (such as PTSD), dissociative reactions and disorders, and frequently co-occurring issues (addictions, self-injury, sleep disorders, etc.) In the book's final section, Dr. Courtois presents rudimentary information about the ways in which complex trauma and related issues can effectively be treated, including brief explanations of all psychotherapeutic methods that might be used. Importantly, she discusses in detail the sequenced, three-stage treatment model she has developed for work with addicted survivors of complex trauma, recognizing that complex trauma and addictions are often interrelated in powerful ways, and unless both issues are addressed simultaneously, the client may not heal from either. Though It's Not You, It's What Happened to You is written for people new to the concept of complex trauma and how it may be affecting them or a loved one, clinicians will also find the work useful, relying on it as a way to bolster their own knowledge and, perhaps more importantly, as a tool for informing their traumatized clients about the degree and nature of the psychotherapeutic work to come.

Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems: What to Do When the Basics Don't Work


Judith S. Beck - 2005
    Beck addresses what to do when a patient is not making progress. Provided is practical, step-by-step guidance on conceptualizing and solving frequently encountered problems, whether in developing and maintaining the therapeutic alliance or in accomplishing specific therapeutic tasks. While the framework presented is applicable to a range of challenging clinical situations, particular attention is given to modifying the longstanding distorted beliefs and dysfunctional behavioral strategies of people with personality disorders. Helpful appendices include a reproducible assessment tool, the Personality Belief Questionnaire.See also Dr. Beck's Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Second Edition: Basics and Beyond, the leading text for students and practicing therapists who want to learn the fundamentals of CBT.

Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People


Mark Rosen - 1998
    By embracing four fundamental premises and putting into practice the author's many helpful and practical suggestions, you'll acquire the skills and insights necessary for turning around even the most troublesome relationship. What you need to keep in mind is that: (1) nothing in your life happens randomly and your difficulties have a deeper purpose; (2) frustration and even emotional pain are as necessary for your personal and spiritual growth as love and joy; (3) transforming enmity and completing unfinished business may be the most important skills you can learn in life; and (4) when you make an effort to work on your inner self, your outer relationships will be transformed.        This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself.

Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society


Bessel van der Kolk - 1996
    Together, the leading editors and contributors comprehensively examine how trauma affects an individual's biology, conceptions of the world, and psychological functioning. Key topics include why certain people cope successfully with traumatic experiences while others do not, the neurobiological processes underlying PTSD symptomatology, enduring questions surrounding traumatic memories and dissociation, and the core components of effective interventions. A highly influential work that laid the foundation for many of the field's continuing advances, this volume remains an immensely informative and thought-provoking clinical reference and text. The preface to the 2007 paperback edition situates the book within the context of contemporary research developments.

Treating Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents: How to Foster Resilience through Attachment, Self-Regulation, and Competency


Margaret E. Blaustein - 2010
    This book has been replaced by Treating Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-3704-4.

STOP! 10 Things Good Poker Players Don't Do


Ed Miller - 2015
    They use plays that are outdated, they make the same mistakes over and over, and they leave heaps of money on the table. This book was written to help you STOP! making those same mistakes. STOP! making the same mistakes as your opponents. STOP! getting crushed in your game. STOP! leaving stacks of chips on the table.

The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss


Ruth Davis Konigsberg - 2011
    Every time we experience loss—a personal or national one—we hear them recited: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The stages are invoked to explain everything from how we will recover from the death of a loved one to a sudden environmental catastrophe or to the trading away of a basketball star. But the stunning fact is that there is no validity to the stages that were proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross more than forty years ago. In The Truth About Grief, Ruth Davis Konigsberg shows how the five stages were based on no science but nonetheless became national myth. She explains that current research paints a completely different picture of how we actually grieve. It turns out people are pretty well programmed to get over loss. Grieving should not be a strictly regimented process, she argues; nor is the best remedy for pain always to examine it or express it at great length. The strength of Konigsberg’s message is its liberating force: there is no manual to grieving; you can do it freestyle. In the course of clarifying our picture of grief, Konigsberg tells its history, revealing how social and cultural forces have shaped our approach to loss from the Gettysburg Address through 9/11. She examines how the American version of grief has spread to the rest of the world and contrasts it with the interpretations of other cultures—like the Chinese, who focus more on their bond with the deceased than on the emotional impact of bereavement. Konigsberg also offers a close look at Kübler-Ross herself: who she borrowed from to come up with her theory, and how she went from being a pioneering psychiatrist to a New Age healer who sought the guidance of two spirits named Salem and Pedro and declared that death did not exist. Deeply researched and provocative, The Truth About Grief draws on history, culture, and science to upend our country’s most entrenched beliefs about its most common experience.