There is the 'wind-listener', a blind surveillance officer who can hear sounds from miles away; the beautiful, unstable maths genius who meets a violent end; the old man who deciphers codes in his dreams; the spy who recounts a dangerous mission from beyond the grave.In this story of conspiracies, geniuses, revolutionaries and terrible moral choices, people sacrifice everything for a world of secrets - until, ultimately, it destroys them.

    STORIES WITH THE LOT!Save ten lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless, and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

     Lionel Shriver is…‘A brilliant writer’ Sunday Times‘Brilliant, funny and incisive’ Woman and Home‘Breezy, mordantly comic’ Daily Mail‘Eloquent’ ObserverIn ‘Domestic Terrorism’ Shriver examines the decline of the empty nest, in a hilarious and barbed story about an all-too-recognisable modern family.

    is the eagerly anticipated successor to News From Lake Wobegon (one of the bestselling spoken-word audio ever) and More News From Lake Wobegon. This collection contains 17 touching, exquisitely funny monologues from Garrison Keillor recorded during American Radio Company broadcasts from tour stops all over the country. The tales, says Keillor, are about "the luxury of rhubarb pie, the perils of prophecy, Florian and Myrtle's thrifty vacation, the vapor lights of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility. . . ." They are also about joy, grief, dreams, luck, and mysteries—about the extraordinary moments of wonder that illuminate our ordinary lives. Contents:Fertility: The Kresbach's Vacation; Prophet; The Six Labors of Father Wilmer; FertilityPatience: Aunt Ellie; Duke's 25th; Jobhunting; You're Not the Only OneYouth: Blue Devils; Nostalgia; O Christmas Tree; Pageant; Messy ShoesRhubarb:  Rhubarb; Sweet Corn; The Sun's Gonna Shine Someday; Yellow Ribbon

    Mr Twiddle is a kind old soul with the best intentions, but he is extremely forgetful, very lazy and more than a little bit silly.

    Fiction by Hugo and Nebula award winners and nominees as well as talented newcomers. Stories were selected by the Unidentified Funny Objects series curator Alex Shvartsman.

    With biting wit, bracing satire, and boundless good cheer, Mary Jo-distinguished member of the First Family of Circle Pines, Minnesota; she'll explain-takes you on a poignant, hilarious journey through the world of keepin' on. Dispatched from her Midwestern home state, then New York, Texas, and exotic points beyond, these very personal stories and essays, with illustrations by Len Peralta, reveal a warm, smart, funny writer who can spot the absurdities in what she deals with every day, and make her readers LOL at them. There's nobody else like Mary Jo Pehl. But then, there's nobody else like you, either. Hey, you two should get together! Read this book, and you will, my friend: you will.

    The best stories are often about the lowest points in our lives - the soul-crushing jobs, the bad boyfriends, the terrible holidays, the betrayals and heartbreaks. These are the stories I tell people to make them like me, but, more importantly, they've helped me learn how to like myself.So this book is a collection of thankyous and acknowledgments:∗ Thank you to an ex-lover who marvelled at the fact he could get hard with me, even though I wasn't up to his usual standard.∗ Thank you to the coked-up real estate agent who, while lecturing me and my friend about the importance of travelling, fell down a flight of stairs.∗ Thank you to the woman who approached me after a gig and told me she hoped her daughter wouldn't end up like me.You've all taught me that you can't control who comes into your life or what happens to you, but you can decide just what it is you take from them.

    In Mercury Rises, they team up once again to battle Horace Finch, a crazed billionaire who plans to uncover the deepest secrets of the Universe -- and likely annihilate it in the process.But how did Mercury did mixed up with all this stuff in the first place?Travel back in time to ancient Mesopotamia, where Mercury is on one of his very first assignments for the Apocalypse Bureau. His mission: to prevent the the jazz age from arriving 3800 years too early. Aided or impeded by such colorful characters as a funk weed-smoking bouncer; Enoch, the precocious sax player; and a goat named Taco; Mercury must make it out of an anachronistic watering hole unscathed. Will Mercury manage to extract Enoch via an interplanar portal and beat it back to Babylon before humankind evolves Bronze Age flappers? And will he ever get the hang of transmogrification? Find out in Mercury Swings!

    Jimmy Rabbitte hates jazz, always has. But his wife Aiofe loves it, and Jimmy loves Aiofe. So when, in attempt to convert him, she buys him two tickets for a Keith Jarrett concert he decides to take Outspan, former member of Jimmy's band The Commitments, who has come back into his life after a chance meeting in the cancer clinic. Jarrett is famous for being intolerant of any noise at all - a cough, a sneeze, a wheeze - from the audience, stopping playing and shaming the perpetrator. And Outspan's diagnosis is lung cancer, it's pretty bad, and he needs an oxygen cylinder to breathe properly.Will Outspan create havoc? Will Jimmy learn to love jazz at last?

    Now in this beautiful keepsake edition, Bombeck's moving words are paired with original art that bring to life the warm portrait of motherhood contained within. An angel marvels at the detail and overtime that the good Lord is putting into his creation of mothers. Despite the six pairs of hands and the three pairs of eyes that every mother needs, the angel thinks she has discovered a flaw:"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.""It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear.""What's it for?""It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.""You are a genius," said the angel.The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there." Every mother will treasure this moving tribute, penned by America's most beloved expert on motherhood.

    The only catch is that she has to look after a pet dog in exchange for board.She soon finds herself trying to juggle auditions, the demise of a long-term relationship and a blossoming fling, all whist hiding a sinister secret concealed within her suitcase.

    Now readers can join Holmes and Watson on a romp through 19th-century London, in 29 new and remarkable early cases. These humorous short stories feature appearances by Mycroft Holmes, Inspector Lestrade, and other familiar characters, as well as cameos from several well-known Victorians. They also contain numerous historical liberties. Can Holmes and Watson solve the mystery of Mornington Crescent? Why are all the policemen whispering at Scotland Yard? Is the world prepared for the case of the Giant Rat of Sumatra? Read The Secret Notebook of Sherlock Holmes to find out...

    The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies…sort of. A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!Often hilarious, frequently gruesome, and sometimes just flat-out wrong to the point where laughing at them presents a moral quandary, Candy Coated Madness is Strand at his demented best!Table of contents...Virtual Reality Kill ZoneGood DeedsCaptain Pistachio's Charming RampageThe Last Thing You Want To BeLab Experiment Turf WarNo TomatoClyde the NecrophileDon't Make Fun of the Haunted HouseIvan's Night OutPointy CanesGiant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West Vs. ZombiesOutpouringSmashing JacksFaerieGreen SuitsThe FraudHostileThe Great Stone Face Vs. The GargoylesParodyAwakeningDismemberment FraudBeware! The! Beverage!Rotten EggsGave Up The GhostDecember BirthdayMy Werewolf Neighbor

     One family. A tiny flat in Notting Hill. A beautiful neighbour. A very angry dog. A horny Welshman. An enormous turkey. On the biggest day of the year. What could possibly go wrong? Meet Ben Canterbury, 29, single, lives in a poky flat in Notting Hill with horny Welshman, Rufus. His life has been one disappointment after another. What makes it worse is that his brother, Jamie, is the complete opposite - a Barrister to Ben’s Barista - with a family and a proper house in Twickenham. In an attempt to compete with his perfect brother, Ben insists he hosts the family Christmas, but it isn’t long before he realises he’s way out of his depth. Ben’s flat isn't big enough for everyone (including one very angry dog), the Christmas tree’s from the £1 shop, the decorations are hung with Blu-Tack, and the turkey might not fit in the oven. Ben’s definitely not feeling the Christmas spirit. But when beautiful new neighbour, Mhairi McGregor, appears at his door, Ben’s Christmas worries go out of the window and he begins to wonder if it might not be the worst Christmas in history after all. Amid all the drama, drinking and carnage of Christmas Day, will Ben find true love or will it be another disappointment to add to the list? A Notting Hill Christmas is a brilliantly funny, feel-good, festive novella perfect for fans of romantic comedies like Love Actually and Notting Hill.