From Caligula's blood-soaked end to hotelier Steve Wynn's unfortunate run-in with a priceless Picasso, these 365 tales of misery include lost fortunes (like the would-be Apple investor who pulled out in 1977 and missed out on a $30 billion-dollar windfall), romance gone wrong (like the 16th-century Shah who experimented with an early form of Viagra with empire-changing results), and truly bizarre moments (like the Great Molasses Flood of 1919).Think you’re having a bad day? Trust us, it gets worse.

    Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    Volcanoes. Sharks. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, illustrated instructions on everything you need to know FAST-from defusing a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab. Providing frightening and funny real information in the best-selling tradition of the Paranoid's Pocket Guide and Hypochondriac's Handbook, this indispensable, indestructible pocket-sized guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know...

    The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need.What do you call an eskimo chav?InnuinnitWhat did the zen student say at the hamburger stand?Make me one with everythingWhat's Irish and lives in the garden?Paddy O'Furniture

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    Today, we can say that reflexology is ideal for not only curing pain (which is a primary symptom showing something is amiss in your body) but also the root cause of the pain. It is little wonder then that reflexology therapy has become very popular as a form of holistic healing, unlike pharmaceutical drugs that mostly address only the symptoms. High stress, chronic fatigue, back pain, and fibromyalgia are only a few examples of unwelcome conditions that can easily be alleviated through the practice of reflexology. Not to mention that reflexology is a great form of disorder prevention too! This book will teach you all about the practice of reflexology, including how to self-perform reflexology and practice it on others. A complete hand chart map and foot chart map are provided within the book for your reference as well. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Understanding Reflexology Reflexology Basics Getting Started The Foot Reflexology Chart Map The Hand Reflexology Chart Map Self-Practice with Foot Reflexology Self-Practice with Hand Reflexology Five DIY (Do It Yourself) Reflexology Techniques by Ailment Hand Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Foot Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Much, much more! Download your copy today!Tags: reflexology, hand reflexology, foot reflexology, total reflexology, reflexology guide, reflexology manual, reflexology diagram, reflexology chart, reiki, acupuncture, acupressure, flexology, foot map, chart, map, learn reflexology, relieve tension, treat illness, treat pain, reduce pain, alleviate pain, foot reflexology, what is reflexology, does reflexology work, facial reflexology, reflexology headache, headache, headaches, reflexology techniques, reflexology therapy, alternative therapies, foot therapy, natural therapy, reflexology map, hand reflexology chart, foot reflexology chart, reflexology charts, reflexology treatment, reflexology foot map, reflexology hand map, reflexology maps

    In The Art of Living Other People's Lives, Greg delivers a funny, brash, insightful collection of stories on becoming a pick-up artist to get over an ex-girlfriend, late-night adventures with his Uber drivers, a writing gig about men's underwear, and so much more.Whether he's learning to hashtag from his tech-savvy mom, pestering Mark Cuban for life advice, or eavesdropping on strangers for story ideas, Greg takes readers on a hilariously neurotic and self-analytical journey that explores the struggle of balancing his plugged-in persona with his real-world self. Along the way, he--and you--might discover that life is a whole lot simpler online.

    But does he know how to hide a dead body? Or cry with diginity? If not, this book's for him' COSMOPOLITAN, Book of the MonthA TOP GEAR magazine Book of the MonthPRODUCT DESCRIPTIONCall yourself a man? You do? Do you even know what a real man is? Are you a six-foot-one Adonis who wears all the latest fashions, moisturises regularly, visits spas for pleasure and never does anything wrong? Or do you drink twenty pints every Friday night, guzzle a kebab on the way home and then fart yourself to sleep? It's time to stop being the man everyone expects you to be and be the one you want to be.Learn how to:- Pick locks, safes and chastity belts- Disappear without a trace in 24 hours- Win a gun fight- Survive the wild- Ride a wall of death- Work a 4-hour week- Survive any crisis- Make things go boom- Drive cars sideways- Be a great dad…and, of course, drive a tank. Fast-paced and funny, this is the ultimate bible for the modern man.* A 'dangerous book for men' - how to embrace life to the full and how to be your own man * Top Gear meets 101 Things To Do Before You Die (Richard Horne)

    She opened her laptop, pulled out some bread and cheese, and then, as one does, started drinking. The video was called "Butter Yo Sh*t" and online sensation My Drunk Kitchen was born.My Drunk Kitchen (the book!) includes recipes, stories, color photographs, and tips and tricks to inspire your own adventures in tipsy cooking. Hannah offers cocktail recommendations, culinary advice (like, remember to turn off the oven when you go to bed), and shares never-before-seen recipes such as:The Hartwich (Knowledge is ingenuity! Learn from the past!) Can Bake (Inventing things is hard! You don't have to start from scratch!) Latke Shotkes (Plan ahead to avoid a night of dread!) Tiny Sandwiches (Size doesn't matter! Aim to satisfy.) Saltine Nachos (It's not about resources! It's about being resourceful.)In the end, My Drunk Kitchen may not be your go-to guide for your next dinner party . . . but it will make you laugh and drink . . . I mean think . . . about life.

    Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

    His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities.In My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.