If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    Book by Jenkins, Dan

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    This is the one, the only, Old Farmer’s Almanac! Recognized for generations by its familiar yellow cover, the Almanac for 2014 promises to be "useful, with a pleasant degree of humor," fulfilling once again (for the 222nd time) the mission set forth in 1792 by its founder, Robert B. Thomas. In addition to its 80 percent–accurate weather, this year’s signature mix of wit and wisdom, tips and advice, forecasts and fun includes . . . • an astronomy quiz to test your Sky-Q • anglers’ six favorite fish and secrets to hooking them • vegetables and other perennial edibles to grow • the time in our lives: where it goes, ways to make the most of it, and more • the whole truth about whole grains • how to get bitten by a pet (if you’re not careful) • rings around Earth (think Saturn) that might influence our weather • health tips for each zodiac sign • envelope and napkin jottings that changed the world • plus: Moon phases and other celestial sightings, tides, historic trivia, gardening tables, best days, and too much more to mention! Added value this year: • 80 full-color pages • full-color winter and summer weather maps • updated Reference section

    The station manager who hired him was the first to recognize his considerable on-air talent, and helped start what has become a legendary radio career. Often compared to Howard Stern, Carton has hosted a series of highly rated shows, and in 2007 he joined WFAN, where he and Boomer Esiason host an eponymous show every morning for four hours out of a studio in New York City.In this debut book, Carton invites the reader to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio’s craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.

    It is a comedic, self-deprecating, look into the harsh, scary, and often sad world of infertility. Hilariously Infertile will make you laugh out loud while wishing you could have a glass of wine with the author and discuss how you relate to her story is. The author pokes fun at the infertility world, with jokes, such as, equating the constant gynecological exams to her sluttiest days in college, and wondering if her husband will be home in time to stick it (the IVF ass shot) into her butt.We follow the author's journey from trying to conceive on her own, discovering she is infertile, getting pregnant, and then doing it all again for her second child. The entire journey is marked with uproarious scenes that any woman who has ever been to the gynecologist can identify with. At times, the author's candor will surely lead the reader to conclude that the outlandish stories cannot be true. But they are, all of them.Included in the journey is a chapter on being a new mom. This chapter is funny and real. It does not boast about being a parent, to those who still may be on that path; rather, it speaks candidly about the adjustment to a new life that the author worked hard to achieve, via fertility treatments, and yet still was not ready for.There is no filter for the author of Hilariously Infertile. This book tells it like it is, from sex, to infertility, to being a mother and a wife. If you have thought it somewhere deep down inside, this book says it aloud.

    I just want to be known as a clown because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh.” – Red Skelton “All I want to do is to make people laugh, to take the word ‘heartache’ out of their vocabulary” – Red Skelton A lot of ink has been spilled covering the lives of history’s most influential figures, but how much of the forest is lost for the trees? In Charles River Editors’ American Legends series, readers can get caught up to speed on the lives of America’s most important men and women in the time it takes to finish a commute, while learning interesting facts long forgotten or never known. Among radio personalities and television entertainers, almost nobody had a career as long or storied as Red Skelton, one of America’s foremost comedians during the 20th century. Over the course of 70 years, Skelton made crowds laugh from vaudeville to performing as a clown, and while he is best known for The Red Skelton Show and his other variety shows, he also managed a 45 year stage career, as a pantomime or one of the other characters he created over the years. Although Skelton was extremely popular in America at the peak of his career, his entertainment was also a throwback to the early 20th century, which compelled television studios to balk at the notion of continuing to air his shows by 1970, even though his shows had spent almost two straight decades with Top 10 ratings on the air. Understandably bitter, Skelton refused to have his shows in syndication until the 1980s, and by then, the same concerns about his appeal to younger crowds had only gotten worse as he and his show had aged. Skelton is still best remembered for his performances and his television career, but he was also a noted artist who fittingly excelled at depicting clowns on canvas. Despite the seemingly silly content of his work, Skelton’s skills as an artist were so impressive that he made millions of dollars a year selling his art and having it displayed. By the time he died in 1997, it’s estimated that he may have made more money through art than through performing. American Legends: The Life of Red Skelton chronicles the life and career of one of America’s most beloved comedians. Along with pictures of important people, places, and events, you will learn about Red Skelton like never before, in no time at all.

    You'll also discover: - How to Treat a Radioactive Spider Bite - How to Design and Build a Costume - How to Swing from Building to Building - How to Maintain a Secret Identity - Hot to Take On a Gang of Henchmen Plus a few skills that would benefit all the Peter Parkers in the world (such as How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss, How to Live on a Meager Income, and more). Complete with colorful step-by-step illustrations, "The Spider-Man Handbook "is essential reading for all your web-slinging needs!

    There are now more than 170 titles in this series, and their remarkable popularity reflects the common desire of country and city dwellers alike to cultivate personal independence in everyday life.

    This book shows you how to claim your share. Over 200 pages of valuable metal detecting information designed to get you out there finding treasure on your very first outing.Finding treasure with a metal detector is real and doing it is simple and easy once you read this book. There are people finding incredible old coins made from gold and silver, valuable historical relics and old jewelry made from gold, silver and platinum. But you won't find these great treasures unless you know where and how to look. Metal Detecting: A Beginner's Guide shows you this and much more.Veteran detectorist and treasure enthusiast Mark Smith continues to provide great information to anyone interested in the great hobby of metal detecting. In his second book on the subject, he manages to answer the common questions that every novice has when they are thinking about getting started. From choosing the right machine to identifying your valuable treasure, Mark Smith covers these subjects and everything in between in an easy to understand way.While this metal detecting book may be geared towards the novice treasure hunter, there are plenty of choice tips that even experienced treasure hunters can pick up. Mark Smith reveals some of his best guarded metal detecting secrets in this metal detecting guide that puts more treasure in your find's pouch.Fully illustrated diagrams and real life pictures describe in detail the easiest ways to not only locate treasure, but safely recover it as well.Learn how to find more treasure by: understanding common metal detecting terminology, understanding which metal detectors work the best and where, understanding how and why a metal detector works, other equipment you will need, proper etiquette, what you can expect to find, why you should never throw anything away, how to identify your finds, how to identify jewelry, how to tell if it is real gold, how to metal detect with children, which recovery tools work the best, how to recover treasure, how to metal detect private property, how to identify unknown metal detecting finds, metal detecting creeks, rivers and lakes, pinpointing, making weak targets stronger, cleaning your finds, the best places to use your metal detector, selling your finds and more!What are you waiting for? Find out how you can maximize your treasure with this informative metal detecting book today.

    

    Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.

    

    Corresponds to the video presentations and member-book units of t

    It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!