How To Be A Complete and Utter Blunt: Diary of a Reluctant Social Media
James Blunt - 2020
But with the invention of Twitter, James found his real voice, and with it, the chance to reply with a simple 'up yours'. Now the King of Twitter has ascended to the heady heights of occasionally 'winning the internet'.Selected and introduced by James himself, this is a year in the life of the world's most reluctant social media sensation. Now learn for yourself how to be a complete and utter Blunt . . .
How it Works: The Student
Jason A. Hazeley - 2016
. . in other words the back-to-schoolers and the university goers. __________________________________This is a student.He is leaving home for the first time.By the time he graduates, he will be grown-up: exhausted, hideously in debt and unable to imagine going to bed sober.__________________________________Reynard has brought everything he needs for his first year.He unpacks his fancy-dress costumes, his four-way extension leads, his pair of pants and all his didgeridoos.By doing front, back, inside-out front, inside-out back, and using Febreze and Imodium, he plans to make his pants last until half term.__________________________________ This delightful book is part of a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseHow it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
Egg Thoughts and Other Frances Songs
Russell Hoban - 1964
America's favorite song-singing badger is sure to entertain old and new fans as she laments the end of summer, presents a tribute to her favorite cookie, and sings her memorable ballad about the food she hates the most: eggs.
Chicken School
Jeremy Strong - 2005
But I'm eleven now. Where's the excitement . . . Where's my life?!' Tim's family is the Most Boring Family In The World and he's fed up. He wants fun! Thrills! Adventure! And school's just as boring too. But one day a phantom message about Tim appears and everything changes. Who is the day-glo scribbler – and what's so special about chickens anyway?
Paperboy: An Enchanting True Story of a Belfast Paperboy Coming to Terms with the Troubles
Tony Macaulay - 2011
The city lies under the dark cloud of the Troubles, and hatred fills the air like smoke. But Tony Macaulay has just turned twelve and he’s got a new job. He’s going to be a paperboy. And come rain or shine – or bombs and mortar – he will deliver…Paperboy lives in Upper Shankill, Belfast, in the heart of the conflict between Loyalists and Republicans. Bombings are on the evening news, rubble lies where buildings once stood, and rumours spread like wildfire about the IRA and the UDA.But Paperboy lives in a world of Doctor Who, Top of the Pops and fish suppers. His battles are fought with all the passion of Ireland’s opposing sides – but against acne, the dentist and the ‘wee hoods’ who rob his paper money. On his rounds he hums songs by the Bay City Rollers, dreams about outer space and dreams even more about the beautiful Sharon Burgess.In this touching, funny and nostalgic memoir, Tony Macaulay recounts his days growing up in Belfast during the Troubles, the harrowing years which saw neighbour fighting neighbour and brother fighting brother. But in the midst of all this turmoil, Paperboy, a scrappy upstart with a wicked sense of humour and sky-high dreams, dutifully goes about his paper round. He is a good paperboy, so he is.Paperboy proves that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times; it is a story that will charm your socks off, make you laugh out loud and brings to life the culture, stories and colourful characters of a very different – but very familiar – time.
Turn Left at Istanbul: ESCAPING SHIRLEY - The ultimate, mad, sixties road trip
Richard Savin - 2019
In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.
Love Letters of Great Men
Beacon Hill Press - 2009
Find yourself in the middle of torrid love affairs, undying devotion, and scandalous betrayal as you uncover long-lost correspondences between lovers.From great Kings to War Heroes to Philosophers, spanning a period of five centuries, this collection illustrates that the human desires of sex and love were as powerful then as they are now.
A day with Moo: a best friend book
Kerry McQuaide
Silly. Snuggly.Midge and Moo are best friends. They came home from the hospital together when Midge was just two days old. They do everything together.Midge learns what it is like to have a partner in crime, a best friend, and someone who is there for you no matter what.If you and your little ones like bright, colorful illustrations and sweet, funny stories, you will love Midge and Moo.Get your copy of The Adventures of Midge and Moo and let the cuddling and laughing begin!Part of the Adventures of Midge and Moo series.
All Blacked Out & Nowhere to Go
Bucky Sinister - 2007
His love affair with punk comes full circle as he learns to hate it and then learns to love it again. The pieces in this book take us from his Southern roots, his brief stay in St. Louis, and his journey to California on a quest for punk bliss. Sinister finds himself in Oakland, where he gets exactly what he wanted, but it may just kill him. From recounts of specific shows to metaphorical dreams of Abraham Lincoln to the tragic stories of circus elephants, All Blacked Out & Nowhere to Go mixes tragedy and comedy into a book that's louder and faster than any book of its kind.
My Love for You is the Sun
Julie Hedlund - 2014
"This book belongs on the shelf right between GOODNIGHT MOON and GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU." -- NYT-Bestselling Author Emma Walton HamiltonWith soothing verses evoking the beauty and wonder of the natural world, combined with stunning, hand-sculpted clay illustrations, parents and children will cuddle up with this book and read it again and again.
You Come Too
Robert Frost - 1916
A collection of poems chosen by Frost to be read and enjoyed by children (and their elders), including "Acquainted With The Night," "A Patch Of Old Snow," "Not Of School Age, "and "Mending Wall.
Further Adventures of a Grumpy Old Rock Star
Rick Wakeman - 2009
What do Postman Pat, Tommy Cooper, Norman Wisdom and George Best have in common with being abandoned in a Costa Rican jungle after a severe bout of flatulence? Indeed, how are they also connected to trying to buy an Australian brewery just to get a beer, owning twenty-two cars, an American soccer team and a Swiss mail-order pornography company?The common feature is of course a certain Richard Wakeman.The Further Adventures of a Grumpy Old Rock Star takes you, the privileged reader, on a trip of absurd excess, a cultural car crash of side-splitting hilarity and an unforgettable glimpse (again) into the life of one of Britain's most legendary showmen, rock stars and all-time great raconteurs.
Strange Light
Derrick Brown - 2012
Strange Light takes us back to the docks, to drama class and prom, an undersea conversation with Jacques Cousteau, and into his famous romantic howls. The epic poem, Strange Light, anchors this collection as one of the most inventive and potent collections of modern American poetry. About.com called his 2009 collection Scandalabra, one of the best books of the year. Everything hilarious and stirring is illuminated. The power of Strange Light is waiting.
King John of Canada
Scott Gardiner - 2007
A series of minority governments, and endless Quebec referendums (designed to lose narrowly, to keep the money coming) have left Canada almost ungovernable. When the Governor General resigns in disgrace and the House of Windsor implodes in London, a media baron launches the idea of a Canadian king or queen elected by lottery.It starts as a joke — except that the lucky winner, King John, a bright and charismatic guy from Toronto, knows exactly what people want. Soon Quebec is gone, while Toronto’s surprise bid to leave Canada is averted by shifting his official residence, the new seat of power, to the Toronto waterfront. Many good things happen, and the politicians go along for the ride. And the blockades of Native lands are ended for good, after John is heroically wounded keeping the peace at risk to his life.His popularity soars and Canadian morale soars with it. Soon the rest of the world is taking notice of this model leader. In the United States, the blue states look enviously northward. Then Canada’s king, ignoring assassination threats, goes on a formal visit to Washington. . .From the Hardcover edition.
Pizza cake: and other funny stories
Morris Gleitzman - 2011
STORIES WITH THE LOT!Save ten lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless, and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.