Dr. Karen writes that our capacity to forgive reveals much about our character–including our ability to recognize the humanity in someone who has hurt us and to see our own limitations and complicity in whatever went wrong. He argues that the forgiving spirit not only liberates us from feeling victimized by others but frees us from compulsive self-hatred and regret as well: for forgiving others is nothing but the mirror image of forgiving oneself.Throughout Karen insists that we are not saints, that forgiveness is a struggle for everyone, and that we cannot be truly forgiving if we do not allow ourselves our negative emotions, especially anger. If our harshest feelings are suppressed, we can never move beyond them.Forgiveness sheds light on the envy, narcissism, and paranoia that threaten relationships; the childhood experiences that magnify those qualities; and, finally, the processes of mourning, healthy protest, and what he calls "the redeployment of love" that can help us to let go and move beyond them.

    “I Forgive You: Why You Should Always – The Path of Forgiveness Book 1” explains why it so important to forgive everyone; it’s for your own personal benefit. Without forgiveness, you are hindering your own life in ways you may not understand. This first installment of a three-book path toward complete and total forgiveness explains why no matter what happens…you should always forgive, and we will show you why and how. If you are ever going to truly forgive and release the hurt from your past, you must first understand why it’s so important to do it.

    Book by Baines, John

     THE SIMPLE AND POWERFUL IDEAS IN THIS BOOK CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER. Who’s in Your Room? introduces you to the concept of your life being like a room—a room where anyone who enters affects your life . . . forever. Although this concept may sound frightening, this book gives you the tools and exercises you need to take control of your room and live the life you desire.This book brings in experts to describe how people leave you with memories that cannot be erased but can be managed. You manage them by determining what’s really important to you, and then you can determine how to spend your time and whom you should be spending it with. Stop living according to everyone else’s rules. Shape your life by taking control of your room. Live your life by your design!

     The powerlessness, pain, and torment she endured ate her up. But, the ultimate gut-punch came when she finally mustered the courage to break her silence, and her words were met with excuses for her abusers and the admonition that she must forgive. “Mother, I Don’t Forgive You” is a true story of terrifying abuse and the triumph of healing. Written with raw emotion and inspirational clarity, this page-turner offers help and hope for anyone who has suffered from abuse or loves someone who has suffered from abuse. This is Book 1 of a two-book series. The other book in the series is "Mother, It's Hard to Forgive You: Ridding Myself of the Family Scapegoat Mantle." ***Originally published by Blue Dolphin Publishing, Inc., Nevada City, CA in 2005 as "Heal and Forgive."

    You may fall into the trap of trying to "fix him" or "fix" your marriage. Unfortunately you can't fix him and, despite many claims to the contrary, you can't fix this marriage all by yourself either. All you can really do is take care of yourself. This little book aims to help you get through this difficult time by focusing on yourself, taking care of your own wants and needs and letting go of that which you cannot control.If you are looking for a book to help you understand the Midlife Crisis Man or to tell you what you can do to attempt to save your marriage, then Detach and Survive is NOT the book for you.However, if you are ready to start taking care of yourself and want to survive his crisis with a little self respect and not destroy yourself in the process.If you are ready to take responsibility for that which you can control and let go of that which you can't,then buy this book. Learning to Detach and Survive can help you through.

    (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was dealing with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who’d like help deciding if they should stick with it. The reason why there is so much interest is the large number of people in relationships with Avoidants who struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. And it’s also true that the Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well—retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope—though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: • Seem not to care how you feel? • Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? • Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? • Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? • Act coldly toward your children and the needy? • Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? • Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Insecure partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

    The truth is we’re inherently kind.Scientific evidence has proven that kindness changes the brain, impacts the heart and immune system, is an antidote to depression and even slows the ageing process. We’re actually genetically wired to be kind. In The Five Side Effects of Kindness, David Hamilton shows that the effects of kindness are felt daily throughout our nervous system. When we’re kind we feel happier and our bodies are healthiest.In his down-to-earth and accessible style, David shares how:Kindness makes us happierKindness is good for the heartKindness slows ageingKindness improves relationshipsKindness is contagious

    Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to:* Let go of power struggles and need for control;* Balance needs for closeness and separateness; * Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; * Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments;* Make agreements you can keep;* Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love.

    “By the time you are ready to explore the world of love, you are filled with so much rubbish about love that there is not much hope for you to be able to find the authentic and discard the false.” By answering the questions that so many lovers face, Osho shares new ways to love that will forever change how you relate to others, including how to:• Love without clinging• Let go of expectations, rules, and demands• Free yourself from the fear of being alone• Be fully present in your relationships• Keep your love fresh and alive• Become a life partner with whom someone could continue to grow and change • Surrender your ego so you can surrender to loveBeing in Love will inspire you to welcome love into your life anew and experience the joy of being truly alive by sharing it.

    Now, in her wise and perceptive new book, Imperfect Control, she shows us how our sense of self and all our important relationships are colored by our struggles over control: over wanting it and taking it, loving it and fearing it, and figuring out when the time has come to surrender it. Writing with compassion, acute psychological insight, and a touch of her trademark humor, Viorst invites us to contemplate the limits and possibilities of our control. She shows us how our lives can be shaped by our actions and our choices. She reminds us, too, that we sometimes should choose to let go. And she encourages us to find our own best balance between power and surrender.

    Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions• Understand yourself and your partner• Make important life decisions  Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery,  such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again.

    Kasl brings a compassionate understanding to the anxiety and uneasiness of new love, and helps readers discover their potential for vibrant human connection based on awareness, kindness, and honesty. She approaches the dating process as a means for awakening, reminding us that when we live by spiritual rules, we bring curiosity and a light heart to the romantic journey. Filled with quotations from Zen, Sufi, and other wisdom traditions, and informed by the experiences of people from all walks of life, here is a relationship book that will appeal to readers looking for more than a Venus-meets-Mars solution to the complex affairs of the heart.

    This book will give readers the aha! of recognition they have been waiting for. Unmissable." --Naomi WolfUnhooked Generation is about single men and women in their 20s and 30s who are having unprecedented difficulties finding love. Based on 100 in-depth interviews, Jillian Straus examines the obstacles facing unattached women and men in an age when all the choices we have, somehow, manage to decrease our chances of finding a mate. While cell phones, text messages, email, speed dating, and internet dating all conspire to create a sense that there are endless options, a culture of "consumer sex" and casual hook-ups make settling down feel like settling. And as the age of first marriage goes up, the level of expectation climbs right along with it, and we start subjecting prospective mates to "the checklist." From the collapse of courtship and the death of romance to the overriding media message that single life is sexy and married life is boring, we have a culture of mixed emotions about the very concept of marriage. Confronted by a host of factors that other generations never considered in their search for love and commitment, the "unhooked generation" faces a potholed road to romance. Rich with compelling personal stories, and leavened with wit and sharp observation, this is a book that clarifies this confusing, compelling issue as no other book has -- and in its final chapter offers concrete advice for addressing the problem.

      The one who expects the world, but never remembers your birthday. The one who constantly ditches your dinner plans when you’re already halfway to the restaurant. The one who leaves you feeling exhausted, used and completely emotionally battered.   Why do we let these people into our lives? When is their friendship actually friend-shit? How do we dump these crappy companions?   This is the no-bullshit, essential guide for anyone devoting their precious time and energy into maintaining friendships with toxic friends. Using activities, truth bombs, and real-life examples, neuropscyhologist Dr Hannah Korrel will help you to identify the bad friends in your life, understand what true friendship should look like, learn how to attract the best people, and become the best friend you can be yourself.   Provocative, funny, and brutally honest, How To Break Up With Friends will change the way you look at friendship forever.