Book picks similar to
Pants on Fire: A Collection of Lies by Clayton Smith
short-stories
humor
abandoned
ebooks
Summer at Sea
Beth Labonte - 2015
Have you ever helped your parents pack for a weeklong cruise? No? I didn't think so. So shut it. So begins vacation for Summer Hartwell - twenty-six years old, living with her anxiety-ridden parents, and unwillingly booked by her brother on a weeklong cruise to Bermuda. Despite the nightmare of being trapped aboard a cruise ship with Mom and Dad, Summer sees a rare opportunity to fulfill The Prophecy – her mother’s declaration that she will live at home until she gets married. With two thousand passengers onboard, at least one of them must be husband material, right? The only problem is Graham Blenderman – her brother’s best friend who is joining them for the week, in all of his tall, blonde, extroverted glory. Graham doesn’t believe Summer needs a husband in order to break free from her parents. He thinks she just needs a little bit of nerve. And to Summer’s introverted horror, he’s willing to spend the entire week proving that he’s right.
The Unhappy Medium
T.J. Brown - 2014
Mired in accusations of fraud, incompetence and malpractice, Barlow is cast out of the scientific establishment and ejected from the family home.Then, after three wine-sodden years, Barlow is approached by his equally skeptical mentor, Dr Alex Sixsmith, with an extraordinary proposition. It may be an offer that Newton cannot refuse, but there’s one tiny problem:Sixsmith is dead.
Space Team
Barry J. Hutchison - 2016
Imprisoned and forced to share a cell with a cannibalistic serial killer, Cal thinks things can't possibly get any worse. He is wrong. It’s not until two-thirds of the human race is wiped out and Cal is abducted by aliens that his day really starts to go downhill. Whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of some of the sector's most notorious villains and scumbags. Their mission should be simple enough, but as one screw-up leads to another, they find themselves in a frantic battle to save an entire alien civilization - and its god - from total annihilation. A hilarious, fast-paced space adventure from the author the Independent calls "the new Terry Pratchett."
3 a.m.
Nick Pirog - 2013
Henry Bins is awake for one. He wakes up each day at 3 a.m. then falls asleep at 4 a.m. Life is simple. Until he hears the woman scream. And sees the man leave the house across the street. But not just any man. The President of the United States.
A Family of Violence
Jon Athan - 2016
The pair hoped to capture evidence of the supernatural for their classmates. It was supposed to be a fun and simple weekend excursion. Unfortunately, the friendly pair were unaware of the terror lurking in the woodland – a family of savages, a family of violence. Only one of them would emerge from the woods unscathed, only one would be allowed to join the family in a shocking crime spree...Jon Athan, author of Mr. Snuff and Butcher Road, brings you an uncompromising vision of provocative horror. Are you willing to join the family?WARNING: This book contains scenes of graphic violence, disturbing themes, and some sexual references, including references to sexual abuse. Many of these scenes involve minors. This book is not intended for those easily offended or appalled. Please enjoy at your own discretion.
Don't Tell Meg
Paul J. Teague - 2017
One night. So many deaths. When radio journalist Pete Bailey betrays his wife Meg on his fortieth birthday, he has no idea of the terrible consequences that will follow his infidelity. His passionate relationship with Meg is on the rocks and they're having no luck starting a family. It's only when he meets TV reporter Ellie Turner on a working weekend away from home that Pete succumbs to her charms in a moment of weakness. His treacherous actions set off a chain of events fueled by jealousy, revenge, violence and hatred. Five people will lose their lives as a result of Pete's deception and he will be compelled to confront the ugly truth about his wife and his best friend, Jem. He thought that nobody would ever discover what he'd done with Ellie ... but he didn't know who was listening in the room next door. Don't Tell Meg is the first part of trilogy of thrillers. Book 2, The Murder Place and Book 3, The Forgotten Children are also available. Paul J. Teague has also written the standalone thriller Dead of Night (Released May 2017) Please note that this book contains mild violence, bad language and sexual references.
Witch's Bell 1
Odette C. Bell - 2011
Ebony Bell is living just exactly the life she wants. She has her very own magical bookstore, a wardrobe full of fabulously glitzy clothes, and a sweet bowl just brimming with lollies. But when a 6ft-tall annoyance by the name of Detective Nathan Wall walks through her shop door, her sweet life turns to ruin. As witch consultant for the local police department, Ebony has to work infuriatingly close with the man. And if that wasn't the worst thing that could happen, she slowly finds out that an ancient, thoroughly powerful entity might just be out to curse her. Very soon she finds herself ditching the ruby-red heels, dashing across rooftops, breaking and entering, and stuffing whole bookstores into bags. Oh, and possibly kissing annoying detectives.
The Last Single Girl
Bria Quinlan - 2012
Last minute. Who doesn't already have plans on the busiest date night of the year.But, so far the best part of the search for a great date has been the cute café I found and the geeky-hot owner who keeps rescuing me from these crazy eLove.com dates. This should be easy-peasy. The internet is the home of all your hopes and needs, right?Spoiler Alert: it isn't.Between the bromance date and the crazed single dad who needs to hire a nanny and housekeeper, not get a date, I'm running out of options. If only a certain cutey didn't have a phone call with "sweetheart" every day.The weirder things get, the more I think just going solo is very I Am Woman, blah blah blah. Forget about the fact that my heart keeps bringing me back to a certain café even when I don't need to be there...I mean, my heart doesn't always get what it wants, does it?
Once Upon a Kiss
Alethea KontisJenna Elizabeth Johnson - 2017
Inspired by old favorites as well as lesser-known tales, find retellings of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Old Rinkrank, King Thrushbeard, The Princess and the Pea, and many more - all with fresh, romantic twists - just in time for Valentine’s Day~ THE GLASS MOUNTAIN - Alethea Kontis On the way to her wedding, brave and clever Princess Sabine falls into a Glass Mountain, where she is trapped with a crotchety man she calls “Old Rinkrank.” The two form a unique, unlikely friendship while working to escape. THE BAKERS GRIMM - Hailey Edwards When two struggling business owners compete for the contract of a lifetime, it’s all bakers on deck. Mix in a dollop of rivalry, a tablespoon of romance, and a pinch of magic, and you’ve got the recipe for one heck of a bake-off. May the best decorator win! GALATEA AND PYGMALION - Kate Danley A young woman in ancient Greece is tasked with carving a new statue for Aphrodite's temple. But what happens when she falls in love with her art? RED– Sarra Cannon Charlotte is searching for a cure to save her sister, but what she finds in the woods is not at all what she expects... PRINCESS CHARMING – Yasmine Galenorn Sometimes, the road to Happily Ever After leads a girl right past Prince Charming... into the arms of his sister. MAD ABOUT YOU – Jennifer Blackstream Alice doesn't want to marry the Mad Hatter. Will an unexpected trip to Wonderland change her mind? THE SEA KING'S DAUGHTER—Anthea Sharp A mermaid gives up everything to be with the mortal man she loves – but can there be a happy ending when the Sea Witch intervenes? ROMEO AND JULIET: THE AFTERLIFE – Julia Crane Juliet enters the afterlife and discovers the truth behind her relationship with Romeo and Paris - and that their greatest challenge is yet to come. SOOT AND STONE: A Fae Tale of the Otherworld - Jenna Elizabeth Johnson Aisling, a young Faelorehn artist, finds herself falling for the son of one of the famed Tuatha De Danann. The only problem is, she’s unaware of his true identity, and her selfish uncle will do anything to keep her from realizing her dreams. THE HUNTSMAN'S SNOW – Mandy M. Roth Sometimes, a prince isn’t as charming as history would like you to believe. And sometimes, a princess needs an alpha male shifter to find her happily ever after. RUMPELIMPSKIN - Debra Dunbar An imp finds herself in a fairytale world without her infernal powers facing an impossible task. Will Sam barter away her firstborn? Will her angelic main-squeeze save her? Or will she come up with a devilish solution of her own? THE GLASS SKY - Alexia Purdy Star’s refusal of suitors lined up for her hand has her family in knots, but when the city is bombed and overthrown, she loses everything. After she’s rescued by a handsome stranger named Clyde, she sneaks away to save her parents but finds herself trapped in the new president’s clutches. RUSH - C. Gockel Misogyny is a beast. When the incarnation of Creation gets angry at Rush for innocently stating his opinion, she curses him to find true love in two weeks … or else. PERCHANCE TO DREAM – Phaedra Weldon Her first love has been placed under a spell.THE TOAD PRINCE - Nikki JeffordIsabel Ivers’s stepfather will do anything to secure his place as Far North’s new ruler, even if it means marrying her off to the depraved prince of the lowlands.CRAFTED WITH A KISS - Shawntelle MadisonDespite fighting in countless battles to bring peace to warring kingdoms, Pynnelope, a warrior maiden made of wood, knows no fear. Becoming human is all she desires until she discovers she can have so much more.A SMALL MAGIC - Devon MonkA cursed princess, a talking pea, and a wish that changes everything.
In Between
Jenny B. Jones - 2007
With her mom in prison, and her father AWOL, Katie is sent to live with a squeaky-clean family who could have their own sitcom. She launches a full-scale plan to get sent back to the girls’ home when she finds herself in over her head...and heart. When Katie and her new "wrong crowd" get into significant trouble at school, she finds her punishment is restoring a historic theater with a crazy grandma who goes by the name of Mad Maxine. In the midst of her punishment, Katie uncovers family secrets that run deep, and realizes she's not the only one with a pain-filled past. Katie must decide if she'll continue her own family’s messed up legacy or embrace a new beginning in this place called In Between.
Envy of Angels
Matt Wallace - 2015
It's like I dropped a heroic dose of acid and turned on the Food Network for eight hours. It's funny and demented and sticks in you like a pinbone. Matt Wallace writes like someone just jammed a needle full of adrenaline in his heart - and then, in yours. From this point forward, I'll read anything this guy writes."-Chuck Wendig, author of BLACKBIRDS and ZER0ES"No one makes me think, 'Dammit, I should have thought of that!' like Matt Wallace. The Sin du Jour series is something I read with equal amounts of envy and delight." - Mur Lafferty, Campbell Award winning author of THE SHAMBLING GUIDE TO NEW YORK CITY
That Night
J.S. Cooper - 2014
When Liv Taylor met a handsome stranger at a friend's wedding, she decided to give in to temptation. It was lust at first site and when she followed the man she nicknamed Mr. Tongue into a room before the wedding ceremony, she experienced pleasure like she'd never experienced before. That was why she agreed to one night in his hotel room. One night of unbridled passion. That was all it was supposed to be. But then, her mystery man turned up after that night and his identity was no longer a mystery. It turns out that Liv's one night stand is about to get a whole lot more complicated and she has no idea what she's going to do. Because sometimes one night stands never end at one night. NOTE: This novella is a free steamy prequel to the full-length standalone novel One Night Stand, that will be released on January 5th. It will also be included in One Night Stand when it is released, so you can read it first as a free download or you can read it as part of the novel on release day.
Humancorp Incorporated
Andrew Stanek - 2017
Meet Sean. Sean is the worst employee in the whole world. After being fired, Sean can't find a job and enters a downward spiral. He becomes depressed, turns to drinking, and experiences thoughts of suicide and sociology professorship. Then, an idea dawns on him. He writes a letter addressed to "whoever runs the world" and asks for a job. The letter he gets back contains a job offer from a company he's never heard of before: Humancorp Incorporated. Homeopathic suicide pills, giraffe catapults, and the Mandatory Organization of Anarchists - all in Humancorp Incorporated.
Crystal Magic
Madeline Freeman - 2014
Windows break. Books rocket across the room. Lights flicker. Strange occurrences follow the sixteen-year-old everywhere. When tragedy forces her to move to the small town of Clearwater, Michigan, with her estranged aunt Jodi, Kristyl tries to leave her past behind. But Clearwater has secrets of its own—a mystical history that intersects with Kristyl’s life and might shed light on the inexplicable events that plague her. When a mysterious illness threatens her aunt’s life, Kristyl will do anything to cure her. Enlisting the help of witches could save Jodi, but is dealing in magic worth the consequences?
Sharp Shooter
Marianne Delacourt - 2009
Fast. Feisty.WINNER of the Davitt Award 2010 Best Crime Novel and nominated for Ned Kelly Award 2010 Best First Crime NovelBook 2 - SHARP TURN, coming 2016!Book 3 - TOO SHARP, coming 2016! Book 4 - SHARP EDGE, coming late 2016!