I should not line dance under the influence, and I think we both know that now. I owe you for letting me borrow that really expensive evening clutch with the feathers. I had no idea puppies liked feathers.I owe you for that really poor financial advice I gave to you. It was loud on the subway, but I thought I heard that guy in the suit say, "Buy Enron." I owe you for Brad. Let's not talk about him ever again. You're smart. You're funny. You text just the right amount. You're the one person who tells my about the thing in my teeth without sounding just a little bit superior. You're the best. You're the Best is a thank-you note to female friends, the women we call when the best things in our lives happen—or the worst. Written by two generations of Satellite Sisters, this beautifully packaged hardcover book explores how we rely on our friends to get us up, get us going, get us through, and, most importantly, get us laughing. It makes a superb gift for friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and granddaughters.The Satellite Sisters—Julie, Liz, Sheila, Monica, and Lian Dolan—are five sisters who believe that a sense of connection is what gives meaning to our lives. The Dolan sisters created Satellite Sisters first as a nationwide radio show and website. Now, the Satellite Sisters connect with a blog, a podcast, books, personal appearances, and social media; joining them regularly are their cadre of twenty-something nieces. After winning twelve Gracie Allen Awards for excellence in women's media, they still have plenty more to say.

    In fact, he’s never met another human—or seen a sunrise, smelled a flower, or eaten a regular meal. All of that is about to change.It’s night in the desert, but he doesn’t feel the cold. The sky is clear, and the stars twinkle at him. He has never seen the sky from Earth before. Everything looks so strange. So . . . alien. He shakes his head in wonderment and laughs. He can’t stop smiling. This is Earth!There is a building ahead. Other people will be inside. His heart skips a beat as he takes a step forward, the rocks crunching under his bare feet. He has dreamed of this moment for as long as he can remember.But that which can be found can just as easily be lost again. It would have been better had Sam’s arrival gone unnoticed. But the artificial life form known only as the Authority is not one to miss such things. Nearly as old as time, and almost as powerful, the Authority was built by an ancient civilization as both an enforcer and a war machine, the destroyer of worlds. It has been watching Sam his entire life. Watching, and waiting, and judging. And now, it has decided that it’s time to act.

    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.

    Selections of these writings amount to a second autobiography.

     YOU GET THREE MASSIVE BEST-SELLING MYSTERIES IN THIS BOX SET These are books 1-3 of the Hillary Greene series. BOOK 1: MURDER ON THE OXFORD CANAL DI Hillary Greene is a policewoman fighting to save her career. Not only has she lost her husband, but his actions have put her under investigation for corruption. Then a bashed and broken body is found floating in the Oxford Canal. It looks like the victim fell off a boat, but Hillary is not so sure. Her investigation exposes a dark background to the death. Can Hillary clear her name and get to the bottom of a fiendish conspiracy on the water? BOOK 2: MURDER AT THE UNIVERSITY A pretty French student is found dead in her room at an exclusive Oxford college. Everyone thinks it is another tragic case of accidental drug overdose. But Detective Hillary Greene has a nose for the truth. She quickly discovers that the student was involved in some very unusual activities. With a shocking cause of death found, the case becomes a high-profile murder investigation. BOOK 3: MURDER OF THE BRIDE DI Hillary Greene is called out to attend a suspicious death at Three Oaks Farm in the picturesque village of Steeple Barton. The large farmhouse is filled with music and revellers, but when she steps into the farm’s large cowshed, Hillary finds a dead bride. Dressed in a sumptuous white wedding gown, the young, beautiful redhead had clearly been strangled. But not everything is what it seems, and the victim turns out to be at the centre of a web of jealousy and intrigue in the close-knit village. Many of the villagers have a motive for murdering her but they’re not giving up their secrets easily. Perfect for fans of Agatha Christie, LJ Ross, Betty Rowlands, Colin Dexter, or Ruth Rendell. What readers are saying about FAITH MARTIN “A great story and a great read. Likeable and interesting characters and I hope to read more about DI Hillary Greene and her team.” Nerys Roberts “This book is a real page turner and I cannot wait for the next book in the series.” Barbara “Drew me in from first pages, an excellent mystery.” Rhonda “DI Hillary Greene is a force to be reckoned with.” Ray George “I like Hillary and her team and love the Oxford setting.” Hannelore “I’ve got to say, Faith Martin is becoming one of my favourite authors. . . Move over Inspector Morse, make way for D.I. Greene.” Carole DISCOVER ONE OF THE WORLD’S FAVOURITE DETECTIVES DI HILLARY GREENE SERIES BOOK 1: MURDER ON THE OXFORD CANAL BOOK 2: MURDER AT THE UNIVERSITY BOOK 3: MURDER OF THE BRIDE BOOK 4: MURDER IN THE VILLAGE BOOK 5: MURDER IN THE FAMILY BOOK 6: MURDER AT HOME BOOK 7: MURDER IN THE MEADOW BOOK 8: MURDER IN THE MANSION BOOK 9: MURDER IN THE GARDEN BOOK 10: MURDER BY FIRE BOOK 11: MURDER AT WORK BOOK 12: MURDER NEVER RETIRES BOOK 13: MURDER OF A LOVER BOOK 14: MURDER NEVER MISSES BOOK 15: MURDER AT MIDNIGHT BOOK 16: MURDER IN MIND

    Gaimon gathers the best of his popular Q&A column—and pokes fun at his younger self.Despite the howling protests from his peers, no one’s ever been more willing to spill the beans on what it’s really like inside the pro cycling peloton than the sarcastic scribe Phil Gaimon. Building on the outrageous success of his hilarious 2014 debut, Pro Cycling on $10 a Day: From Fat Kid to Euro Pro, Gaimon gathers the absolute gems from his monthly Q&A feature column in VeloNews magazine into his new book, Ask a Pro: Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America’s Foremost Cycling Sage, adding a dose of fresh commentary and even more acerbic and sharp-eyed insights. With six years of material to work with—including his incredible rise into the pro ranks, the devastating loss of his contract for 2015, and his bold return to the Big League—Gaimon covers every possible topic from the team dinner table to the toilet with plenty of stops along the way. Gaimon offers wise-ass (and sometimes earnest) answers to fan questions like: · How much chamois cream should I use?· I’ve started shaving my legs. How can I be accepted by my friends?· What do you do to protect yourself when you know you’re about to crash?· How many bikes does my husband really need?· What’s the best victory celebration? Do you practice yours?· In women’s cycling, what is the proper definition of a pro?· What do you say to someone if they honk or almost hit you?· Do you name your bikes?· What do pros think when they see a recreational cyclist in a full pro kit or riding a pro-level bike?· Can you take your bike apart and put it back together?· How bad does the weather have to be to call off a training ride?· How do you know when it’s time to change a tire?· When you’re in a breakaway all day, do riders form a future friendship?· Riders keep complaining about "unsafe" weather at races. When did pro cyclists turn into such wussies?· How do the pros define a "crash"?Gaimon wields his outsider’s wit to cast a cock-eyed gaze at the peculiar manners, mores, and traditions that make the medieval sport of cycling so irresistible to watch. Ask a Pro includes new resources from Gaimon, too, including his Cookie Map of America, dubious advice on winning the race buffet, a cautionary guide for host housing, Phil’s pre-race warm-up routine, and a celebrity baker’s recipe for The Phil Cookie.

    Ex-players, close friends, journalists, managers and former colleagues reveal their astonishing brushes with the greatest football manager England never had. The stories are cherry-picked from two acclaimed books - 150BC: Cloughie the Inside Stories and Clough: Confidential. An additional 242 stories can be found in these two volumes. So, enter the whirlwind world of Old Big 'Ead and prepare to be entertained.

    

    Even the most predictable of us sometimes defy expectations. Other times life plays tricks on us. We find ourselves characters in a farce. As an award-winning actor and comic writer, Rebecca Front has always been fascinated by life's little quirks. Impossible Things Before Breakfast is a collection of true stories about surprising turns of events, bizarre misunderstandings and improbable life lessons. We learn, among other things, how to prepare for a role as a villainous 'she-mountain' when you're five-foot-four, why beach holidays require military-precision planning, and the joys of wearing a cape. Combining elegant writing, wry humour and genuine insight, this brilliant new collection is about lifting the lid on ordinary life and feasting on the impossible.

    It's been downhill ever since. For all this talk of our dazzling modern age, the two biggest advances of the past decade are Wi-Fi and Nando's. That's the best we can do.'In his latest laugh-out-loud collection of misanthropic scribblings, hideous Q-list celebrity failure Charlie Brooker tackles everything from the misery of nightclubs to the death of Michael Jackson, making room for Sir Alan Sugar, potato crisps, global financial meltdown, conspiracy theories and Hole in the Wall along the way. The collapse of civilisation has never felt this funny (unless you're a sociopath, in which case it's been an uninterrupted laugh riot since the days of the Somme).This book is guaranteed to brighten your life, put a spring in your step, and lie to you on its back cover.

    This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    Each standalone book presents the author's original vision of a singular aspect of the future which inspires in them hope or reticence, optimism or fear. Read individually, these essays will inform, entertain and challenge. Together, they form a picture of what might lie ahead, and ask the reader to imagine how we might make the transition from here to there, from now to then.In The Future of British Politics, comedian Frankie Boyle takes a characteristically acerbic look at some of the forces that will be key in coming years, from Scottish independence and post-colonial entitlement to big tech surveillance and the looming climate catastrophe. Despite his fears that 'soon the only red tape in this country will be across the finish line of the compulsory Food Bank Olympics', he manages to locate some hopeful signs amid the gloom, reminding us that 'despair is a moment that pretends to be permanent'.

    Comedy and Error Simon Day, star of the Fast Show and Bellamy's People tells the shocking, sometimes sad and hilariously funny story of his life so far Full description

    A reluctant father, shameless adulterer, and devotee of all things extravagant, Gordon lives an exclusive life filled with fine wines and surrounded by servants and mistresses. It would seem to be a world without want.So when revelations about his scandalous relationships and less than honest business practices emerge, the glamorous façade begins to crumble and those around him start to fear the worst. But, much to Gordon’s surprise, all he can feel is relief.The Fall and Rise of Gordon Coppinger is a brilliant and often extremely funny examination of modern British values and the craving for a public fall from grace. In a world that is built on the crazy principles of wealth and celebrity, and which is driven by the insatiable desire to attain more and more, we meet the perfect anti-hero: Gordon Coppinger, a man going quietly sane.