Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    Writing in his own words, William Lobban tells how he was born in Exeter Prison to a violent, schizophrenic mother. His upbringing in the East End of Glasgow was just as bleak, and he ended up in care at an early age, destined for a life of violence and insecurity. At a mere 15 years old, he masterminded a daring break-in to a Glasgow pub, and many years of armed robberies, dealing class-A drugs, and gang fights followed. When he wasn’t causing mayhem on the streets, Lobban was serving terms in various high-security prisons, where he was the ringleader and instigator of two of the most serious prison riots of recent years at Perth and Full Sutton and where he took prison officers hostage on two other occasions. In the course of his criminal career, Lobban became enmeshed with the infamous Paul Ferris, who later incriminated him as the murderer of fellow gangster Arthur Thompson Jr. Police also believed that Lobban was the man behind the brutal double killing of Bobby Glover and Joe ‘Bananas’ Hanlon, but none of these charges held up. Finally released from prison in 1998, Lobban decided to walk away from a life of crime, but personal tragedy led to a dependence on alcohol and drugs, which nearly killed him. Only in recent years has he found a measure of peace and stability. He has finally decided to set the record straight, and in this searing exposé of the Glasgow underworld he reveals the true facts behind the crimes that he really committed and those of which he is falsely accused.

    

    Duff bares the creaky, embarrassing parts of our high school cafeteria-scarred souls for us, leaving us no choice but to laugh at our failures, no matter how spectacular, and rejoice in our successes, no matter how itty-bitty. She shows women that each one of us is a wonder in our own way, with the ability — whether we know it or not — to make the best of life’s often absurd situations. Reading If You Did What I Asked In the First Place is like sitting down with a good friend who helps you make it through the day. Pour yourself a glass of whatever makes you feel better and take off any constricting undergarments: Let loose with the knowledge that you are not alone. You have Lori at your side.

    One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes ! Have fun and laugh!

    When he returns home from his demanding job, a man rightfully deserves a bit of pampering. A happy smile, a warm kiss, and a pair of cozy slippers are just the start. Here are all the secrets for helping him feel comfortable and content:  - Advice on cooking from scratch - The lowdown on why a clean home makes hubby feel better - Valuable hints on making yourself more attractive to him The Good Wife is a great and humorous gift for brides-to-be or happily married wives, for Valentine’s Day, and bridal showers and bachelorette parties.

     Hermione is, without a doubt, the brightest witch of her age, which is why she is looked up to by so many people. In this AHAbook, she shares with us tips and tricks to studying and how one can greatly increase their efficiency in education. As a Gryffindor, Hermione talks about bravery and courage and teaches us why we are bigger than our fears and greater than any obstacle. She speaks about the beauty of friendship and the value of family. Hermione tells us about how one’s journey through life can possibly go and how to best handle things that come our way. She definitely believes that dreams can come true if you just believe in yourself. Hermione Granger's Unofficial Life Lessons and Words of Wisdom is part of the AHAthat/THiNKaha series of books. AHAthat helps experts and thought leaders share their genius. The bite-sized morsels of wisdom within these physical and online books are easy to consume and share.

    Both funny and insightful That'd Be Right is part memoir, part personal history of Australia over the last thirty years. It's a biographical trip told through sport, and families and William's own experiences. He writes: 'As with A Man's Got to Have a Hobby I weave in and around the events that have held such fascination for this country over the last thirty years or so, connecting them all with the progression of a life.' Some of these events would be considered momentous, some small and personal. And all are seen through William's eyes. They range from a day at the Melbourne Cup with his mother where too many champagnes and too few winners were picked; a swimming carnival early in the morning after a gloomy and long federal election the night before; watching truly surreal Grand Final moments in a pub with a group of odd and unknown bar companions. William also writes about a night at the cricket with his son, which shows how things can change and oddly come full circle.

    It's a Chick Thing is a collection of forty spirited stories about the special and unique times that strengthen the bonds of women's friendships and create shared history. It takes a look at women's friendship at its wildest, adventurous best the antics, the escapades, the risk taking, the loyalty, the irrepressible humor and merriment.Read about Dolly Parton's escapades with her friends in high school, Fergie's and Diana's night on the town during Andrew's bachelor party, how Sharon Stone literally gave Mimi Craven the shirt off her back, and the time when Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn faced down the Coal Miner's Daughter's detractors. Readers will delight in reading about Cirque du Chien, a group of partyloving chicks who dress up like French poodles and drink French champagne. Or La Bella Mafia, a girl gang dedicated to glorious divadom who right wrongs and overdress for every occasion. It's a Chick Thing also includes chick resources such as "Shoo Fly Be Gone," a list of verbal comebacks for getting rid of those pesky men who interrupt your girls' nights out and "Chick Stars," an astrological guide to finding your most compatible (and incompatible) friends. There are also handy chickcentric lists including "Chicks That Rock," "Chick Reads," "Chick Flicks," and "Chick Cliques."

    Truth, Beauty, and Baldness.In this episode... Steve on Feng Shui; The think tank; Karl's perfect life; Karl's problem with neuroanatomy; Cogito Ergo Summat; Work ethics; Post-pesticidal remorse; Karl's holiday anhedonia; Curry night at Auntie Nora's; The Zen of Munchies; Karl's confectionery-based analogies; Transplant bollocks; Karl gets economical with his facts; Tribal numeracy; Small talk at the bar.

    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

     Attu was the westernmost island in the Aleutian chain, located one thousand miles from Alaska, and subject to brutal weather all year round. Prior to the war it had been home to two Americans and forty-five Aleut hunters and their families, but in June 1942 the Japanese had seized the island and now had over two-thousand troops on the barren island threatening the security of the U.S. mainland. The Battle of the Komandorski Islands in the Bering Sea on March 26, 1943, cleared the way for attempt to retake the island of Attu. Code-named Operation Landgrab, the U.S. military planned for the invasion to take place in May. Army planners had initially thought this would be a quick operation, but instead of being a short invasion it dragged on for over two weeks. The Japanese had realized that their options were limited and so launched a last-ditch banzai charge against the American frontline that was suffering from brutal Arctic conditions, equipment failures and food shortages. Although the U.S. military was able to recapture the island it had cost the lives of over five hundred American soldiers. Robert J. Mitchell, Sewell T. Tyng and Nelson Drummond’s book The Capture of Attu provides fascinating insight into this ferocious conflict. Part One of the book provides an overview of the military campaign while Part Two provides personal narratives of the soldiers who fought. This book attempts to put the reader on the battlefield with the ground soldier. Men who fought on Attu, officers and enlisted men, told their stories to Lieutenant Robert J. Mitchell of the 32d Infantry, one of the regiments engaged. These stories tell of the discomforts and perils, the failures and successes, the fear and courage, the many fights between small groups and the occasional humor, of which battle consists. Robert J. Mitchell served as a lieutenant in the US Army's 7th Infantry Division in World War II, being stationed on Attu Island off of Alaska as well as other areas of the Pacific. He was shot in the chest while on Attu and carried the bullet for the rest of his life. While recuperating, he wrote the stories of the other men in his hospital tent. For this he was made an aide to the general in charge of media for the rest of the war. He passed away in 1992. His co-authors Sewell T. Tyng and Nelson Drummond also served on Attu and passed away in 1946 and 1999 respectively. Their book The Capture of Attu was first published in 1944.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    His humor and short fiction appear in various publications throughout the Southeast.

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.