. . or if it’s because he’s been dead for three centuries (nothing personal)?  Have you tried to coax him out of his crypt with a flash of your neck or a near-death situation that requires him to save you at the very last possible moment?  Have you ever considered what it will be like to introduce him to your mother?Even though your vampire’s skin is transfixingly translucent, he can still be very hard to read.  Sometimes he’s simply holding back his true feelings, resisting the urge to bite you in the chance that one day you will truly love him.  And other times . . . well, he’s just not that into you.How can you tell?  Undead dating specialist Vlad Mezrich has all the answers, utilizing quizzes, Top Ten lists, language analysis, real-life (and real-death) testimonials, and fancy charts to show you what you need to do in order to get your vampire and keep him forever.  Once you go vamp, you never decamp – so let this eternally rewarding book show you the way to the vampire of your dreams.

    For one, getting into the Blood Coven is to die for. But for the other, getting out could be lethal...When Sunny McDonald gets dragged to Club Fang by her twin sister Rayne, she doesn't expect to find anything besides a bunch of Goth kids playing at being vampires. But when some guy mistakes Sunny for her dark-side-loving sister and bites her on the neck, she finds out that his fangs are real—and deadly. Now, Sunny has less than a week to figure out how to reverse the bite, or else she's going to end up as the perpetually undead. And not only will she be a vampire, she'll also be bonded to Magnus—the bloodsucker who bit her—forever. And forever is a really long time...

    But after dark, students like Claire Danvers know that studying can take a backseat to staying alive. Now together in one bloodthirsty volume, the second two books of the Morganville Vampires series show why underestimating a vampire can be deadly....MIDNIGHT ALLEYClaire Danvers has pledged herself to Amelie, the most powerful vampire in town. But being under Amelie's protection doesn't offer much comfort when people start turning up dead, a talker resurfaces from Claire's past, and an ancient bloodsucker extends a chilling invitation for private lessons at his secluded home in Midnight Alley. To what end, Claire will soon discover - and it will give a terrifying new meaning to night school.FEAST OF FOOLSIn Morganville, vampires and humans have learned to live in relative peace, but the tenuous good-neighbor policy is abruptly turned on its head with the arrival of Mr. Bishop. The ancient old-school vampire is bad to the bones, and what he wants from the town's living and dead is unthinkably sinister. It's only at a formal ball attended by vampires and their human dates that Claire realizes Bishop's plan - and the elaborately evil trap he's set for the warm-blooded souls of Morganville.

    These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the twenty-first century. In the tradition of bestsellers like The Zombie Survival Guide and The Zen of Zombie, The Vampire Survival Guide covers everything you need to know to protect yourself from vampires. Topics include the habits and routines of vampires, how to tell if somebody you know has become a vampire, how to protect yourself from attack, how to set traps, what to do if you must fight off multiple vampires, how to cleanse an entire town after devastating vampiric attacks, and much more. It confronts head-on the most terrifying situation of all—that of being bitten by a vampire—by providing the reader with numerous approaches, rooted in both science and medicine and religion, for fighting off blood-suckers before it is too late. Vampires are found in every country in the world—not just in Eastern Europe and Sunnydale, California. With the human population expected to reach over 9 billion by the year 2050, confrontations between men, women, children, and vampires are increasingly inevitable. This guide is the human race's best hope.

    The Original vampire family swore it to each other a thousand years ago. They pledged to remain together always and forever. But even when you're immortal, promises are hard to keep. Arriving in New Orleans in 1722, Original vampire siblings Klaus, Elijah and Rebekah Mikaelson believe they've escaped their dangerous past. But the city is lawless, a haven for witches and werewolves unwilling to share territory. The siblings are at their mercy…especially after Klaus meets the beautiful and mysterious Vivianne. Her impending marriage is key to ending the war between the supernatural factions—and Klaus's attraction to her could destroy the uneasy alliance. As Elijah works toward securing a piece of the city for his family, and Rebekah fights her unexpected feelings for a French captain, will Klaus's volatile desires bring their world crashing down—and tear them apart for good?

    What now? Slow down — and flesh out the life of the mindless with this essential guide for the newly undead.The vacant stare, the shambling gait, the sense that you’re falling apart — adjusting to "life" as a zombie takes a little getting used to. And what’s with the sudden obsession with brains? Time to get your outstretched hands on this comprehensive handbook spelling out all things z-o-m-b-i-e.* identify your zombie archetype, figure out if you’re dating a zombie, and savor the joy of brains (or alternative foods when necessary)* learn how to "pass" among the living, brush up on zombie fashion and etiquette, discover decor for the decaying, and check out some awesome tunes to eat brains by* explore zombies in literature, films, and novels — and learn the truth about rumored celebrity zombies* attention span getting shorter? Enjoy mini graphic novels on how to evade zombie hunters, take a zombie road trip, and"who do that voodoo"* and much, much more guaranteed to make a trendy — if creepy and vacuous — creature proud!

    Zoe is wary when, in the dead of night, the beautiful yet frightening Simon comes to her house. Simon seems to understand the pain of loneliness and death and Zoe's brooding thoughts of her dying mother.Simon is one of the undead, a vampire, seeking revenge for the gruesome death of his mother three hundred years before. Does Simon dare ask Zoe to help free him from this lifeless chase and its insufferable loneliness?

     This comprehensive handbook-essential for every Twilight Saga fan-is full-color throughout with nearly 100 gorgeous illustrations and photographs and with exclusive new material, character profiles, genealogical charts, maps, extensive cross-references, and much more.

    This title reveals the endless stuggle between the forces of darkness and its opponents, from the vampires and werewolves of old England, to villains in pop culture and serial killers who prowl the streets.

    A. Nelson takes us on a supernatural thrill ride, a modern-day vampire story set on a NASA base and filled with space-and-science intrigue. Seventeen-year-old Emma feels cursed by her epilepsy—until the lost night. She's shocked to wake up in the hospital one morning, weak from blood loss. When her memories begin to return, she pieces together that it was a man—a monster—who attacked her: a vampire named Wirtz. And it was her very condition that saved her: a grand mal seizure interrupted Wirtz and left Emma with all the amazing powers of a vampire—heightened senses, rapid speed—but no need to drink blood. Is Emma now a half-vampire girl? One thing soon becomes clear: the vampire Wirtz is fierce and merciless, feared even by his own kind, and won't leave a job undone.

    I touch them with my quivering tongue. They are clear and salty, not dark and bloody. Another sign that I am human. What Alisa has desired for five thousand years has finally come true: She is once again human. But now she is defenseless, vulnerable, and, for the first time in centuries, emotional. As she attempts to reconcile her actions as a vampire with her new connection to humanity, she begins to understand the weight of life-and-death decisions. Can Alisa resolve her past and build a new identity, or is she doomed to repeat her fatal mistakes?

    When he finally does, her whole life changes.Sneaking out to meet Stamp at a party one rainy night, Maddy is struck by lightning. After awakening, she feels lucky to be alive. Over time, however, Maddy realizes that she’s become the thing she and everyone else fear most: the living dead.With no heartbeat and no breath in her lungs, Maddy must learn how to survive as a zombie. Turns out there’s a lot more to it than shuffling around 24/7 growling, “Brains.” Needing an afterlife makeover is only the beginning of her problems. As Barracuda Bay High faces zombie Armageddon, Maddy must summon all of her strength to protect what matters most—just as soon as she figures out exactly what that is.

    With nearly 200 photographs and illustrations, this entertaining and erudite collection of myth, folklore, literature and popular culture is seductively priced in its new paperback edition.

    In The Shadow Of The Vampire offers a close up view of her devotees and disciples, fangs and all. Over 100 photographs from Anne Rice's Memnoch Ball in New Orleans as well as other events serve as a portrait of this growing subculture. The photographs illustrate the themes the readers relate to in their fantasies and everyday lives and the extremes to which they will go to be close to their mentor. The subjects of the photographs, the fans themselves, explain in accompanying interviews their spiritual relationships to romance, eroticism, loneliness, bloodlust or outsider status of the characters in the book. From the people who sleep in coffins to the teenage Goth-rockers to the HIV-positive man who found a deep allegorical comfort in the vampire Lestat, their responses range from the burlesque to the sublime.

    Everything fans want to know about the hotly anticipated Twilight movie and much more!Designed as a celebration of the film, this lavishly illustrated paperback edition is an exclusive behind-the-scenes guide featuring full-color photos of the cast, locations, and sets, as well as storyboards, interviews, details of the special effects, and much more.