*** It sounds like just another urban legend -- a clock appears in your home, ticking backward to midnight, and when the twelfth chime rings, the recipient is gruesomely murdered. But when Kristen receives a clock of her own, ticking backward to her doom, she must unravel its mysteries. Mysteries that have their roots in her family, and that will lead her through generations of madness. The clock is ticking, and when it reaches midnight, Kristen will discover that some urban legends are real, and sometimes the dead do not stay dead. It's only a matter of time...

    All hope of staying in her childhood home are gone, as are the chances of finding the one man who could have saved the Hall. But when a stranger arrives late one evening, drawn to the tiny fishing harbour by an injured dog, will he be friend or foe? Only the Hall’s ancient guardians and its missing owner know the truth. Time is running out. Soon it will be too late.

    But what if a monster isn’t enough? Shadows gather, winter deepens, and Assevan falls farther into the dark. Pitted against monsters and men, Konrad faces deeper challenges. Darker foes. Some can rival even the Malykant’s power. Pushed beyond his endurance, challenged beyond his sanity, at long last Death’s Avenger might need a little help... Konrad Savast returns for another chilling set of adventures in the second volume of the Malykant Mysteries.

    Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's Emergency Questions is about to change your life. Containing 1,000 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his hundreds of podcasts, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights.

    Sample these nuggets of wit and wisdom chipped from the tablets of Stone:On etiquette: "I've never turned blue in someone else's bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners."On Mick Jagger: "My aim is always to try to introduce a bit of levity into his life."On the police: "There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting."On family: "My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow."On dental care: "Miraculously, due to abstinence and prayer, my teeth grew back."

    One of them has to get out. For good...It is the summer of 1999. Bic (half-Irish, half-Scots) is eking out a living selling crêpes to the hordes descending on Greenwich market. With one severed ear, two bizarre deaths and the arrest of his dog for civil disobedience, Bic's year hasn't exactly been going to plan.But when raven-haired Roisin takes the stall opposite his, things seem to be looking up - if Bic can just get past her over-protective brothers. That is, until Bic wakes up the-morning-after-the-night-before, in his clothes, in Edinburgh, to find he's the UK's Most Wanted Man - on the run and with fourteen murders to his name... 'Very fresh, very funny' COLIN BATEMAN'A huge and exciting plot...I loved the twist at the end' Goodreads'Great story and full of humour' Goodreads

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    It's this juxtaposition, the poet's gift for poignant love songs paired with a comedian's timing and self-deprecating wit, that has earned Jann a legion of loyal fans on the stage as well as the page. Two years after the success of her first publication if i knew, don(c)^t you think i'd tell you? (Insomniac Press), acclaimed singer / songwriter and now bestselling author Jann Arden is at it again with her second book, i'll tell you one damn thing, and that's all i know. Little escapes the observant and immensely creative Jann whose musings and entertaining ramblings travel beyond goose poop (if you don't remember, buy the first book) to ponder the state of the world, the state of the States, and the state of her hair (she really is a blonde).

    It includes a short story, two essays, and two prayers for the season.

    

    . .

    Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman, two of the world's foremost experts on Things Before Their Time[3] take you on a step-by-step journey through history.From the Big Bang to the Fall of the Roman Empire, from the Ice Age to the Evolution of Language, from Henry VIII to Last of the Summer Wine: all of civilisation is here. A publishing first, this thoroughly comprehensive and highly ambitious quest through Time and Space is interspersed with questions for all the family from TV's most popular tea-time quiz show, Pointless. This is Alexander and Richard's biggest book yet.The book no historian can afford to be without[4], it comes complete with introduction and footnotes[5]. [1] Highly selective[2] Largely cobbled together from what we can remember from school [3] That's not even a thing[4] Under no circumstances to be used for reference[5] Um...

    How long would this religion take to spread across the globe and even be perceived as a threat to Christianity, Judaism and Islam? In the age of the Internet, certainly less than 2000 years.Set in 1970s London and present-day Marrakech, Etc Etc Amen is a conspiracy thriller and a murder mystery in which people make gods out of men and gods out of thin air, and the destructive power of both religious faith and obsessive love has fatal consequences.'It's a wonderful book! I am even more awestruck the second time around.. Very few novelists get it right when they use Rock as the context for a novel. Howard Male got it right.' Tony Visconti, record producer (David Bowie, Morrissey, U2)'A highly original, artfully constructed and deliciously ironic tale.' Mick Brown (author of 'The Spiritual Tourist' and 'The Rise and Fall of Phil Spector') 'A finely crafted novel that seems destined to become a cult book about a cult.' Peter Culshaw (author of Clandestino: In Search of Manu Chao)'I really enjoyed Etc Etc Amen. At last a novel about a musician that didn't make me want to punch the author.' Jim Bob (Carter USM and author of Storage Stories)

    Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.