Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.
Memoir of a Roadie
Joel Miller - 2020
His autobiography is an often-hilarious personal account of a young man in his early 20’s trying to be a “good” roadie while also trying to understand life’s big picture. Through the advice of rock stars and career roadies Joel tries to find the pathway to roadie righteousness.
Grimoire of the Necronomicon
Donald Tyson - 2008
P. Lovecraft, Donald Tyson now unveils a true grimoire of ritual magic inspired by the Cthulhu Mythos. The Grimoire of the Necronomicon is a practical system of ritual magic based on Lovecraft's mythology of the alien gods known as the Old Ones.Fans of Lovecraft now have the opportunity to reliably and safely get in touch with the Old Ones and draw upon their power for spiritual and material advancement. Tyson expands upon the Old Ones' mythology and reintroduces these "monsters" in a new, magical context--explaining their true purpose for our planet. As a disciple, you choose one of the seven lords as a spiritual mentor, who will guide you toward personal transformation. Grimoire of the Necronomicon features ritual forms and invocations for the daily and yearly rites of the Old Ones, individual rituals devoted to each of the seven major figures of the mythos, and most importantly, a grand ritual for personal attainment. The daily rituals provide an excellent system of esoteric training for individual practitioners. This grimoire also provides structure for an esoteric society--Order of the Old Ones--devoted to the group practice of this unique system of magic.
Ah Well, Nobody's Perfect: The untold stories
Ian Molly Meldrum - 2016
Molly gives us his unforgettable encounters with The Beatles, Elton John, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, John Farnham, Bruce Springsteen, the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Russell Crowe, Oasis, Beyonce and Prince. As well as the tales that surround his other loves: the Australian cricket team, the St Kilda footy club and the Melbourne Storm."I have a lot of love for the great Ian 'Molly' Meldrum" - Shane WarneNo one has lived a life like Ian 'Molly' Meldrum. And no one can tell a story like Molly.
Arc Of A Shooting Star
Simon Northouse - 2018
It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?
The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Our Lady Chaos
Erik Henry Vick - 2019
Hiding out in Pennsylvania, they believe they are safe, and they may be…for a short while.Just when the demon hunters come to believe they have a viable plan for combating the demonic infestation of Oneka Falls, they learn of a new threat. Brigitta's power seems inconsequential by comparison. Confronted by an ancient demigoddess of pain and death, the demon hunter crew knows an open battle will lead to their destruction. The secret to her defeat lies steeped in Akkadian myth, obscured by time and a dead language. Harried by the archdemoness, her powerful servants, and the remaining demons in Oneka Falls, sifting the truth from the legend may prove an impossible task. Nevertheless, the hunters must find a way to save the world..
How can Toby, Benny, Shannon, Mike, and Scott hope to win a war against the demons entrenched in Oneka Falls? How can they even hope to survive?
A Song of Three Spirits
J. Zachary Pike - 2018
Mr. Goldson is filthy rich. He’s also callous and cruel and hasn’t got a festive bone in his ancient body. Naturally, he’s due for a holiday haunting. When his business partner, Bolbi Baggs, announces that they’re to be visited by three spirits, Mr. Goldson braces himself for a whirlwind tour of his past, present, and future.Typically, a trio of time-traveling ghosts heralds a heartwarming tale of hope and redemption for the human race. Mr. Goldson, however, isn’t a member of the human race. He’s a Dwarf, and Mr. Baggs is a Halfling, and the adventure that’s about to take them across the enchanted world of Arth is anything but typical. Holiday magic and economic realities collide in A Song of Three Spirits. It’s A Christmas Carol for the 21st century, with a dash of high fantasy. Read this hilarious satire of Charles Dickens’s classic today!
The World According To Noddy: Life Lessons Learned In and Out of Rock & Roll
Noddy Holder - 2014
Told in his own inimitable style, Noddy shares insider accounts of his days on the road, along with a healthy dose of celebrity gossip, and leaves no stone unturned as he expounds on some of his favourite subjects – fame, friendship and fatherhood, the perils of social media and the modern age, not to mention what it would be like if he ruled the world . . . From his early days on the West Midlands beat scene, including a stint as a roadie for Robert Plant, Noddy charts his rise from skinhead stomper to international pop-star, statesman, playboy, male model and philosopher, and of course one of the most integral parts of a Great British Christmas. Witty, wise and tremendously funny, this is Noddy Holder at his glittering best.
America's Secret Hauntings (Most Haunted Places Series Book 1)
Sarah Ashley - 2013
People flock to locations who wish to have experiences of their own and delve into the exciting, quizzical and frightening world of those who have passed on. When speaking about haunted places there are more than a few that are surely recognizable to most people. However, for the avid ghost teller or hunter these long told tales have almost lost their ebullience and the romance is long gone. Discovering new haunts are like diamonds in the rough. Unchartered ghost stories and research are the crème de la crème for anyone who devours such tales. In this book, author and ghost hunter Sarah Ashley will take you on a new adventure of mysterious happenings, strange sights, horrific details of torture and torment and share with you some truly startling evidence from some of the most haunted, yet less glamorized locations across the United States.
Unholy Night
Seth Grahame-Smith - 2012
They're an iconic part of history's most celebrated birth. But what do we really know about the Three Kings of the Nativity, besides the fact that they followed a star to Bethlehem bearing strange gifts? The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. But leave it to Seth Grahame-Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale. In Grahame-Smith's telling, the so-called "Three Wise Men" are infamous thieves, led by the dark, murderous Balthazar. After a daring escape from Herod's prison, they stumble upon the famous manger and its newborn king. The last thing Balthazar needs is to be slowed down by young Joseph, Mary and their infant. But when Herod's men begin to slaughter the first born in Judea, he has no choice but to help them escape to Egypt. It's the beginning of an adventure that will see them fight the last magical creatures of the Old Testament; cross paths with biblical figures like Pontius Pilate and John the Baptist; and finally deliver them to Egypt. It may just be the greatest story never told.
Confessions of a Call Centre Worker
Izabelle Winter - 2017
Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.
Practice Makes Perfect (Edward Vernon's Practice series Book 1)
Edward Vernon - 2014
It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc
Employee of The Month And Other Big Deals
Mary Jo Pehl - 2011
With biting wit, bracing satire, and boundless good cheer, Mary Jo-distinguished member of the First Family of Circle Pines, Minnesota; she'll explain-takes you on a poignant, hilarious journey through the world of keepin' on. Dispatched from her Midwestern home state, then New York, Texas, and exotic points beyond, these very personal stories and essays, with illustrations by Len Peralta, reveal a warm, smart, funny writer who can spot the absurdities in what she deals with every day, and make her readers LOL at them. There's nobody else like Mary Jo Pehl. But then, there's nobody else like you, either. Hey, you two should get together! Read this book, and you will, my friend: you will.
I'm Sorry… Love, Your Husband: Honest, Hilarious Stories From a Father of Three Who Made All the Mistakes (and Made up for Them)
Clint Edwards - 2018
He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life.Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old).Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.