Damon Runyon Omnibus
Damon Runyon - 1944
A world of speakeasies and dancing girls where a gambler or bootlegger is perfectly normal and respectable in every way. Those familiar with "Guys and Dolls" know what to expect!
But I Came by Ambulance!: Real Stories from a Small-Town ER
Kerry Hamm - 2016
This collection of stories recalls outrageous tales of criminals running from the police, patients arriving in the ER with one foot over the threshold of death's door, stupid ways patients have injured themselves, and a variety of recollections of patients penetrating themselves with household objects. But not every case is funny. Some of the stories recounted are filled with crippling grief, can offer a glimpse of the fear ER workers feel, and detail that sometimes nurses and doctors simply can't win against the power fighting against them. 'But I Came by Ambulance!' is a perfect read for a lazy afternoon, when you're stuck inside due to the weather, or when you're in between caring for the same types of patients described within these pages.
The Weary World Rejoices: Daily Devotions for Advent
Melissa B. Kruger - 2021
The evergreen wreath symbolizes eternal life and includes four candles—typically three purple and one pink, with a white candle in the middle that symbolizes the purity of Christ. Various traditions assign different topics to each candle, and the candles are usually given names to remind us of the good news of Christ's birthTo celebrate this season, TGC's editorial team put together 25 devotional readings that use the Advent wreath as a guide to focus hearts and minds on Christ during the month of December. Structured around traditional Advent themes—hope, peace, joy, love, and faith—these reflections will encourage your heart in this season of celebrating Christ's first coming, and longing for his second.
Dead Jolly
Boone Brux - 2018
Life is like that now that I’m a grim reaper. My holidays gets an extra helping of festive weirdness when the Casanova of mall Santas kicks the bucket. Instead of crossing over, he sets out to spread his own special brand of Christmas magic to a number of single ladies in town. I’ll admit, as a widow I’m hesitant to stop him from gifting his Christmas miracle, but as a reaper, it’s my job to pack his yule log and jingle bells off to the netherworld. After all, everybody knows Santa is only supposed to come once a year.
Nightmare Before Christmas: The 13 Days of Christmas
Steven Davison - 2009
Join Jack and his fellow citizens of Halloween Town as they celebrate the 13 days of Christmas as only they know how. Full color.
Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger (Shingles #4)
Drew Hayes - 2018
Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.
Shivering Sands: Seven Years of Stories, Drinking and the World
Warren Ellis - 2009
These essays, stories, music reviews, the occasional chemically-induced rant, and a couple of recipes— because, for whatever reason, everyone seems to love his recipes—represent a cross-section of the past seven years’ worth of Warren’s writing online. From jumping around Britain, Europe and North America to just dragging his carcass up to the local pub for a think, this is the unedited spillage from the inside of the writer’s head during the ’00s. Some of it even makes sense.
What Would Skeletor Do?: Diabolical Ways to Master the Universe
Robb Pearlman - 2019
Skeletor, He-Man's evil nemesis in the show, remains an icon of villainy for generations who grew up hearing his cackle.Now, for the first time, all of the diabolical wit and wisdom gleaned from Skeletor's unrelenting campaign to wreak havoc on the planet Eternia are collected into one practical, and practically hilarious, volume. This fully authorized, comical, and empowering guide places the evil Skeletor in a variety of troubling scenarios that will be familiar to any reader--from 'Family and Frenemies' to 'Career' and 'Downtime'--and asks the all-important question: What Would Skeletor Do? Combining words of devilish wisdom with appropriate (or inappropriate!) pictures from the original cartoons, this book lets Skeletor tell you how to handle any awkward situation with aplomb. With tongue planted very firmly in cheek, What Would Skeletor Do? is the perfect inspirational resource for pop-culture aficionados of all ages.
The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
Tim Burton - 1997
Now he gives birth to a cast of gruesomely sympathetic children – misunderstood outcasts who struggle to find love and belonging in their cruel, cruel worlds. His lovingly lurid illustrations evoke both the sweetness and the tragedy of these dark yet simple beings – hopeful, hapless heroes who appeal to the ugly outsider in all of us, and let us laugh at a world we have long left behind (mostly anyway).
Air Mail: Letters From The World's Most Troublesome Passenger
Terry Ravenscroft - 2007
But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.
Real Men Don't Rehearse
Justin Locke - 2005
It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!
Bat Boy Lives!: The Weekly World News Guide to Politics, Culture, Celebrities, Alien Abductions, and the Mutant Freaks that Shape Our World
Weekly World News - 2005
You've sneaked a peek at the supermarket checkout. Where else could you find the scoop on which senators are aliens, or Saddam and Osama's torrid love affair? Serious newshounds know the Weekly World News (which counts over a million beings as readers) broke the story that Elvis still lives, but it also has exclusives on what kind of pizza was served at Jesus' last supper, who's the father of the Loch Ness monster's baby, and (of course) the various escapades of Bat Boy, the half man/half bat found in a West Virginia cave almost 15 years ago. For the dedicated follower of the fantastic, and for the uninitiated too, Bat Boy Lives! contains all these vital dispatches and much more. Because the truth...is in here.
Pandaemonium
Christopher Brookmyre - 2009
Scatalogical humour. Razor wit. Convoluted plot. High readability. It's the new Christopher Brookmyre novel.The senior pupils of St Peter's High School are on retreat to a secluded outdoor activity centre, coming to terms with the murder of a fellow pupil through the means you would expect: counselling, contemplation, candid discussion and even prayer - not to mention booze, drugs, clandestine liaisons and as much partying as they can get away with. Not so far away, the commanders of a top-secret military experiment, long-since spiralled out of control, fear they may have literally unleashed the forces of Hell. Two very different worlds are on a collision course, and will clash in an earthly battle between science and the supernatural, philosophy and faith, civilisation and savagery. The bookies are offering evens.
Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard
Tom Reynolds - 2008
But romance can become obsession, and nowadays, love songs are creepier than ever. Even the Police’s stalker anthem “Every Breath You Take” is a popular choice at weddings and funerals.In Touch Me, I’m Sick, Tom Reynolds offers hilarious riffs on 52 love songs that have gone off the rails into the realm of the tawdry, the overwhelming, the obsessive, the self-absorbed, and the completely weird. Including songs by artists as diverse as Melissa Etheridge, Michael Jackson, Paul Anka, Sinéad O’Connor, and Slipknot, he also pillories a handful of the 1,700 different songs called “Butterfly.” Praise for Tom Reynolds’ I Hate Myself and Want to Die"A tremendous idea . . . Reynolds ameliorates the pain of having put his ear up close to some of the most inconsiderate despair anthems of our time by having enormous fun deconstructing them." —The Sunday Times"Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity-pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery." "An entertaining and well-researched set of cautionary tales music fans will enjoy. Consider the list a batch of enthralling liner notes for a box set that comes with razor blades." —Playboy<"Bridget Jones would love it." —The Scotsman