With his hilarious wordplay and zany illustrations, Fred Gwynne keeps children of all ages in stitches!

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    Originally published as a companion book fellow with Algonquin Round Table member Franklin P. Adams' Women I'm Not Married to. The two books have since frequently been published in a single volume.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    One day he would mature into an award-winning man of business*, thriving entrepreneur and glittering member of the jet-set. A force of nature, a man who beat the odds, if only for a bit. This is his story. The story of Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter. Who else could tell the glorious tale of rags to riches to rags to rich(ish) but the man himself? You've heard of The Wolf of Wall Street, now meet the Pug of Peckham.*Trotter's Independent Traders, employee of the year 1982 - 2003

    This novel deals with the attempts of the son of (fictional) Chola king Parthiban, Vikraman, to attain independence from the Pallavaruler, Narasimhavarman.

    More than three hours of recordings in each collection capture the intimacy of live performance. Stories are alternately funny, sad, moving, and exciting and make a perfect accompaniment to daily activities such as driving, cooking, exercising, and relaxing. Lots of Laughs includes, among others, John Updike's "Farrell's Caddie," read by Charles Keating; Neil Gaiman's "Chivalry," read by Christina Pickles; Ron Carlson's "On the USS Fortitude," read by Laura Esterman; Etgar Keret's "Fatso," read by John Guare; and David Schickler's "Jamaica," read by Isaiah Sheffer.

    But to do this they need to outwit the evil General Woundwort.

    Some have compared his novels to those of Jonathan Tropper and Nick Hornby, praising his insightful takes on contemporary life and love, his hilariously descriptive language, his Woody Allen-like dialogue and the poignancy of his plots. Now, in “Three and a Half Virgins,” the author of “What’s Wrong With Dorfman” and “Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour,” turns his jaundiced eye to the subjects of lost love, nostalgia, redemption and guilt. It all begins when the wife of our hapless hero (problematically named Jimmy Hendricks) leaves him for the guy who lives in the cul-de-sac at the end of his block. After a mostly unsuccessful but comical attempt at dating, he finds himself revisiting his past. Engulfed by nostalgia, he's suddenly gripped by pleasant memories of three old flames -- Laura, Samantha and Molly -- all of whom happened to have been virgins when he first met each of them twenty years before.But the warm refuge of the past soon gives way to icy reality as he confronts the sobering details of how maliciously he tricked, seduced and broke each of their hearts. Overcome by remorse and tantalized by curiosity, he finds a way to reshape his past by apologizing to each of them for his heartless behavior.How will they react? Which, if any of the virgins will our hero end up with after his quest? The answer will surprise you, as "Three and a Half Virgins" transports readers back and forth through time, and ultimately suggests that the past is not necessarily prologue

    While Gary is being pampered by sweet Grandma, SpongeBob is posting lost-snail signs all over town. Soon Gary becomes suspicious that Grandma is after more than just his happiness. Can SpongeBob save Gary before it's too late?

    A star of everywhere except his own home, it's hard for Jerome Stevens to balance the demands of touring with family life. The circuit is a cynical world of extremes where money talks, agents slither and audiences throw mince pies. We meet Jerome as he tries to make people laugh for a living. We follow him from the blind terror of a first open spot, to facing an audience of trained killers in the Falklands, from the trauma of live television, to being chased out of Wales by an angry mob of brewery staff. Violent bouncers, paranoid celebrities and comedy producers without a sense of humour all compete to milk the cash-cow that is comedy, each desperately trying to grab at what they think are the udders of laughter. But throughout it all, the hero's biggest critic remains his own seven-year old son. Oh, and all this is recounted while being in prison in China. This hilarious account could only be written by somebody who's been there, with many of the extraordinary characters in the book being an amalgam of the personalities and characters and oddballs found found on the comedy circuit. 'If you haven't caught up with Jones yet - do so!' Daily Mail Milton Jones is a multi-award winning comedian (including the prestigious Perrier Award) who has made numerous radio and TV appearances including The Very World of Milton Jones and Another Case of Milton Jones on BBC Radio 4. He regularly features on Radio and TV panel games.

    . . suddenly you hear it in a voice so clear and strong, a strange and SUBTLE melody A HAUNTING Penguin song."In this hauntingly nuanced ballad, Edward Monkton takes you on an epic journey to the heart of life . . . and to the strange and wonderful release that is DEATH by Method 412.Lyrical. Entrancing. Once you have made the fateful journey to the enigmatic Penguin's snowy palace, he invites you in to share with him a final cup of tea before subjecting you to the unimagined ecstasy of his ultimate treatment.A delicious mixture of euphoria and fright meld to reveal something wonderful and bright in this eccentric Monkton narrative that accompanies his trademark, hand-lettered black-and-white illustrations.

    While his courtiers were jealous of Birbal, the emperor was quick to notice his agile mind. While the two men loathed hypocrisy and deceit; they also relished a good joke.

    Alligator Pie, which remains the classic Canadian bedtime book, is written as if Mother Goose had the Latin name Branta canadensis, from William Lyon Mackenzie King, who "loved his mother like anything," to Trois-Rivières, which, of course, rhymes with "eat you hair."