Here lie the foundations of his unique genius"--from the foreword by Peter Ackroyd. "I have a new story..."--when Oscar Wilde uttered those words, even his enemies leaned in close to listen, for his legendary wit and wisdom enchanted everyone in person as on the printed page. (Some even thought he was better in conversation than in writing.) For the first time, a century after his death, a collection of Wilde's spoken stories reveals the true scope of his genius. 42 bite-size literary gems shine with humor, intelligence, and surprising twists and turns. Some were set on paper by Wilde himself, others were jotted down by friends, family, and guests at Wilde's table. Painstakingly researched, each with an illuminating introduction, and illustrated with prints and photographs of the period, these tales weave pure magic. They include modern stories and anecdotes, fantasies (often based on Irish folktales), biblical sagas, and prose poems. A treasured invitation to "dinner" with Wilde that no lover of literature would miss!

    What a place to die. But that's precisely why I was back."When drugged-up Time Traveller and '80s musical burnout Rock Section and his fellow English hooligans get kidnapped during Italia '90, there are ruinous implications. But now Rock has returned to Sardinia one final time to settle some scores and uncover the truth. He believes only Dutch cult leader Judge Barry Hertzog, still incarcerated on the island for the crime, can provide the answers. But through prescription drugs, the persistence of his driver Anna and a quest for the hidden ancient doorways strewn around Sardinia's only highway, the 131, Rock will discover that a greater truth awaits him. Judgement, consequences, hoodwinking on a grand scale, Gnosticism versus agnosticism...131 is a Gnostic whodunit that pursues readers' memories of all previous fiction into a peat bog and impales them with seven-foot-long pikes.

    Something she always thought of as a fairy tale. A fairy tale with a dark side, like the best of fairy tales...Occupied France, 1943. France's most shameful hour. In these dark times, Dominique starts an illicit affair with a distinguished publisher, a married man. He introduces her to the Resistance, and she comes to have a taste for the clandestine life - she has never felt more alive. Shortly after the war, to prove something to her lover, she writes an erotic novel about surrender, submission and shame. Never meant to be published, Story of O becomes a national scandal and success, the world's most famous erotic novel. But what is the story really about - Dominique, her lover, or the country and the wartime past it would rather forget?

    As we all know, true creativity comes from simple formulas and the memorization of data. This new bible makes the secrets of comedy accessible, not only to those funny few among us, but also to those who might not have the ability or talent to be funny. One no longer need worry about originality — just find the right comedy number and apply as needed... and then you're on your way to POPULARITYVILLE!© Comedy by the Numbers is a NEARLY comprehensive list of all comedy characters, bits, scenarios, sketches, skits, shtick, and much more. (We say nearly because we want to leave room for Volume 2.) Included are special hints, tips, and unboring comedy history. Comedy by the Numbers is the brainchild of Prof. Eric Hoffman (Mr. Show) and Dr. Gary Rudoren (Annoyance Theatre) — AND features loads of comedy fun facts that you can memorize and use to impress people at parties!

    He thought fast and he shot fast, but how many battles can a peace loving cowpoke survive when every gunman is set against him.

    Zephyr is a regular guy with massive powers, but it's easy to wonder if his life might have been better without them as supervillains and other problems that only superhumans can deal with derail his efforts handling life.

    The unbeatable national team have reached the final of the Qatar World Cup. But one journalist is convinced there is a scandalous secret behind England’s incredible form. His lifetime’s dream is to see the Three Lions win the World Cup. But if he pursues and exposes the shocking truth, his beloved England could be sent home in disgrace.Suddenly this is much more than England vs Germany; it’s Love vs Duty, it’s Truth vs Happiness. The pressure of the penalty shoot-out is nothing compared to this.There’s Only Two David Beckhams is John O’Farrell’s love-letter to football; part-detective story, part-sports memoir, part-satire on the whole corrupt FIFA circus; it just made the final for the funniest football fiction ever written...

     In April 2011, Lucy Rocca woke up in a hospital bed with no memory of how she had ended up there. After accepting that her drinking had spiralled out of control, she made the decision there and then to never touch alcohol again. However, the early days were a challenge, and Lucy began recording her journey in a blog as a way of helping herself move forward to a happy and sober future. For someone who defined herself by her love of drinking for over twenty years, letting go of the booze crutch was initially a challenge, but over time, Lucy began to realise how much happier she was living alcohol-free. Glass Half Full is the story of her journey from hopelessly devoted wine fiend to sober and truly happy for the first time in her adult life. As the founder of Soberistas.com, Lucy’s blog also provides motivational and inspirational support for those seeking an alcohol-free life.

    His advice includes: What to do when you discover the man you beeped, flashed and swore at for driving too slowly is your girlfriend's father who you'll meet for the first time that night. How to convince your friends that shoes with loo-paper attached to the soles are now a cutting-edge fashion statement. How to argue, persuasively, that George Eliot is in fact a man.

    

    Which should be around 65 million people in the UK alone.Matt Forde has been obsessed with politics ever since he was 9 years old. Raised by a single mum on benefits in inner city Nottingham, he joined the Socialist Workers Party as soon as he could, foisted issues of Marxism Today on innocent bystanders and attended his first political party conference. From then on, despite some career suicide moments such as chatting to the Prime Minister at Number 10 while badly drunk, Matt's whole future looked wedded to the Labour Party as he started working for MPs in dingy back rooms in Nottinghamshire.But then Labour started to fall apart, and so did Matt's sense of purpose. With the rise of Corbyn, Brexit and Trump, his love for politics that had been so profound began to quickly crumble.Exploring themes such as tribalism, the curse of complacency and why some politicians refuse to speak normally, Politically Homeless is a hugely entertaining book of (often hilarious) personal stories and thought-provoking insights into this complicated world. And despite everything, Matt's passion is still there. Through hosting his award-winning weekly podcast, 'The Political Party' (over 5 million downloads) involving interviews with some of politics' most powerful and notorious figures including Tony Blair, Nicola Sturgeon, Sadiq Khan, Michael Heseltine, Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg and performing critically acclaimed stand-up comedy shows, Matt has been able to keep enough faith that politics will get better. Maybe.

    Take that familiar chestnut, #314, a la Legault: "Hope is kind of like birds. In that I don’t have any.” Or the classic hymn, #615: "God likes to watch.” As Dickinson herself said in #769 (basically, via our translator): This dead person used to be a person!”—and The Emily Dickinson Reader is here to tell you what that person meant.

    And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.

    With only one failed relationship to his name, Dougie is now middle-aged, single, and close to giving up his quest to find love.Then, after the strangest of incidents at work, the unthinkable happens – Dougie is propositioned by a succession of attractive women. Miraculously, a man who hasn’t shared so much as a kiss in twenty-odd years is suddenly catnip to members of the opposite sex. After a lifetime of ridicule and rejection, pain and heartbreak, Dougie can scarcely believe his sudden change of fortune.Armed with his newfound superpower, Dougie’s only remaining challenge is to decide which of his many admirers is Miss Right. Then, he can settle down, get married and live happily ever after.As the most sought-after bachelor in town, what could possibly go wrong with Dougie’s plan?Quite a lot, as it transpires.

     Part of the Storycuts series, this short story was previously published in the collection If You Liked School, You'll Love Work.