The One True Ocean


Sarah Beth Martin - 2003
    There is one that is blue-a clean, bright Disney World blue, which simply is the mirror of a clear sky above. But look at the ocean on a cloudy day, she would say, and here lies the green ocean-the true ocean, full of algae and kelp and slimy creatures, evil lurking in the shadows.The One True Ocean is an atmospheric novel driven by suspense and tension when a twenty-something artist returns to her abandoned childhood home and begins to dig into her past. In a search for answers to her aunt's suicide and her father's identity, Jenna discovers that her seaside house holds dark secrets that will unravel her family history and shatter the truth she has come to believe.In this eloquent debut novel, Sarah Beth Martin mixes dark psychology and real emotion with breathless storytelling to explore the deep connections between past and present, love and loss, the dead and the living.

Horrid High


Payal Kapadia - 2014
    For Mr. and Mrs. Gottin, parenting is an experiment gone badly wrong. So they look for a school where you can dump your kids and forget about them. At Horrid High, everything is downright horrid, from Chef Gretta's cooking to Master Mynus's truly mental maths classes. But Ferg finds four friends with extraordinary skills, and they make a series of startling discovering about their horrid school.Can Ferg and his friends survive Horrid High together? And can they stop Principal Perverse's wicked plans before it's too late? Open the gates of Horrid High and find out!

Cheat: The Not-So Subtle Art of Conning Your Way to Sporting Glory


Titus O'Reily - 2020
    

Why Me? The Very Important Emails of Bob Servant


Neil Forsyth - 2011
    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

Ice Cream Man


Dax Flame - 2019
    Having run out of options, former YouTube star Dax Flame must get a job at an ice cream shop in order to make ends meet.

Another Nice Mess - The Laurel & Hardy Story


Raymond Valinoti Jr. - 2010
    The public not only found Laurel's serene simpleton and Hardy's pompous buffoon hilarious, but they also thought of them as friends. Laurel and Hardy may have been nitwits, but they were loveable nitwits.Another Nice Mess: The Laurel and Hardy Story explores the lives and careers of Laurel and Hardy. The book examines how the comedians teamed up and it explains why, nearly half a century after their deaths, their films continue to enchant people all over the world.Raymond Valinoti, Jr.. is a resident of Berkeley Heights, NJ. He has a Master's in Library Science from Rutgers University and is a freelance researcher. His articles on film have been published in the magazines Midnight Marquee and Films of the Golden Age. He also writes film reviews for an online news publication, The Alternative Press.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten; It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It


Robert Fulghum - 1989
    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

Secrets in the Snow: A Collection Of Riveting Haunted House Mysteries


J.S. Donovan - 2019
    Anna Hall arrives in Sebring, Maine with her two teenage boys and a bold dream. Investing her late husband's life insurance policy into the classy yet nearly forgotten motel, Club Blue, the ambitious single mother hits the much-needed reset button on her troubled life. However, when peculiar guests arrive and strange sounds leak through the oddly thick walls, Anna quickly finds her lifelong dream plummeting into a short-lived nightmare.The Haunting of Meade MansionEmily thought she was leaving her money troubles behind when she inherited an old house from her great aunt who went missing the previous year.When she and her husband Jesse arrive at the house, they discover Aunt Matilda was murdered--and the culprit is still at large. Guided by the ghosts of Matilda and the orphans she raised, Emily and Jesse must catch the criminal and save themselves before it's too late.

My Lifey


Paddy McGuinness
    They were happy times, but money was tight. Paddy slept on a mattress he dragged in from the street, and at 17 he struggled severely with the stress of juggling a college course and two jobs to support his beloved mum.But while cash may have been short, grit and wit were in over-supply, and this is the improbable true story of the lad who went from kipping in abandoned cars in Bolton to racing supercars on Top Gear, via laying concrete floors in prisons, a lively career in a leisure centre, a showbiz intervention by school pal Peter Kay and eye-popping adventures in the world of teledom.There has been mischief and misadventure, joy and sorry, huge success and unexpected challenges. It's a lifey well lived, and an unforgettable personal memoir written from the heart.

The Day Job: Adventures of a Jobbing Gardener


Mark Wallington - 2005
    He is going to change the face of British comedy.Unfortunately for the residents of north London, he's going to finance this dream by becoming a gardener.The result is The Day Job, an account of a year spent working in other people's gardens: people like Mrs Fleming who is convinced there is buried treasure in the bottom bed; Mr Walters who is trying to create a fascist state policed by gnomes in his well-guarded plot in Gospel Oak; Mrs Glover who is probably the most attractive woman living in Britain; and poor Mr Nugent, who likes to save his urine in jam jars and pour it over his compost.Over four seasons Wallington crosses Hampstead Heath from job to job. He survives brushes with the evil contract gardeners who keep trying to knock him off his bicycle. He strives to impress literary agent Herman Gapp who might represent him - depending on what sort of job he does on Gapp's Alpine Terrace. He even finds time to fall for a housecleaner-cum-actor named Helen, as he becomes part of a strange band of artistes, each with a day job of their own, all waiting for that first break.This is the story of long nights spent in the back room of a pub trying to write unsolicited scripts, and of much longer days spent trying to understand the British and their strange obsession with gardening.

NOT A BOOK


NOT A BOOK - 2016
      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

The Book That's More Than Just a Book - Book


Peter Kay - 2011
    These peculiar outlooks bring to life the unique world of Peter Kay like never before. The Book That's More Than Just a Book - Book invites you into a world of suspect characters and awkward situations. Here you will meet Peter's family, their friends, some familiar faces, and some completely unexpected ones. Chock full of brand new material and crammed with photographs and illustrations, creating one of the funniest books you're ever likely to read.

Archie #558


Archie Comics - 1943
    Then in "Barbecue Blunder," sometimes it's fun to reminisce about picnics gone by!

The Big Blue Jobbie: The Caging of a Well-Padded Scotswoman (Book 1)


Yvonne Vincent - 2020