In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

     Join him for some laugh-out-loud moments as he island-hops across Indonesia. From Sumbawa’s Mount Tambora, the home of the largest eruption in human history, to Krakatoa, the creator of the loudest sound ever heard by modern man, Gordon works his way across the country, taking in some of the most remarkable, beautiful and downright scary places on Earth.

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.

    The collection exhibits the madness that engulfs those who descend into cycling obsession, celebrating the average cyclist living in a world defined by the pros. The writings range from fanciful musings concerning the Tao of singlespeeding to lengthy descriptions of end-to-end rides in Britain and Ireland. Mountain biking, road cycling, classic alpine climbs and all sorts of other cycling events are chronicled along the way. Each is written in a lighthearted style designed to bring the reader into the author’s world which is often littered with incident and humour. Within the pages the reader will find a loose ticklist of events to ride, bikes to own and challenges to take on. Each described in the author’s own inimitable style. This latest version comes with added "much better proofreading than last published edition" About the Author Dave Barter is a British cyclist. Excellent we’ve got that out of the way. A non-cycling author of a series of bicycle based reflections would have a hint of incongruity about it. He likes to think of himself as an all rounder having tried many two wheeled disciplines and fallen off most of them. In 2001 he chucked in his job and went cycling. In 2010 he did exactly the same thing again. In between times he’s written a few articles about cycling and a few of them have even made it into print. Dave was born in Ely Hospital in 1966 after his Dad raced floodwater to get his Mum to the ward before the river Ouse burst. This explains why he is always in a rush. Dave lives in deepest Wiltshire with his wife Helen and his children Jake and Holly. Wembley the cat used to reside within the family as well but sadly snuffed it a few years ago. Dave’s fiscal profession is Information Technology. He writes articles to fund bike parts and is currently attempting to finish a number of books. Once he has read them, he’ll turn his attention to his half completed writing projects. Like all good IT practitioners he rarely finishes anything. Obsessive Compulsive Cycling Disorder is the rare exception. Dave has recently published a road cycling route guide to the UK. Great British British Rides is also available from Amazon in paperback format.

    From feasting on lobster on the rocky shores of Maine, to tracking down America's first pizzeria, no culinary stone goes unturned. On his quest, he finds the origin of hot dogs and the best barbecue in the south, he even tries soup made from peanuts. Joined by his long-suffering wife and haunted by a shambolic cross-country trip with his idiotic friend ten years earlier, he travels the length and breadth of the country, from the Florida Keys to Death Valley to the Rocky Mountains. In between he also falls in love with a clown and escapes alien abduction…ok, so that doesn't happen, but he does win a poker tournament in Las Vegas, hides from forest hippies in Georgia and falls out with an Australian. Rich's hilarious journey is littered with insights into a land best understood with one hand on the wheel and the other on a burger. "Hilarious! Drive-Thru USA is an adventure that makes you want to hit the road and drive." shuttersafari.com "Funny and perceptive, filled with insights and tales of amazing food" thewiredjester.co.uk

    A journey of the mind - as well as out at sea, amid the basking sharks, seals, fulmars and waves the size of wardrobes. And while storms rage, Jasper seeks refuge in bars, playing guitar and talking, as only the Irish can, with everyone along the way. All of which makes for a unique inside view of the new and old Ireland, from a man never quite sure if he'll come through the next day in one piece.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    A lioness prises open the door of a terrified couple. A leopard helps itself to a family’s picnic breakfast. A fleeing impala leaps through an open car window. A lion charges around inside a busy rest camp. A hyaena snatches a baby from a tent. A tourist takes a bath in a croc-infested dam… These are just a few of the 101 jaw-dropping sightings, scrapes and encounters in this collection of extraordinary true stories from the roads, camps, picnic sites and walking trails of South Africa’s Kruger National Park, as told by the very people who experienced them. There are no game ranger tales here – each and every story happened to an ordinary Kruger visitor doing what over a million tourists do in this spectacular reserve each year. It is a book to keep by your bedside in Kruger, to dip into at home when you’re missing the bush, to lend to friends who’ve never visited Kruger or to pore over before your next trip. Just don’t expect to ever sleep soundly in a safari tent again…

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    After eight years of owning their barge, Hennie-Ha, eight years involving catastrophe and crisis, Val and her partner finally go 'faring' to France for the first time. This travelogue is about the places they visit and the people they meet along the canals on their route from the Netherlands, through Belgium and into northern France. It tells a gentle story about how they experience their life on board during the four weeks they spent cruising. Written as a journal, it follows them on their travels through rain and shine and reveals how day by day, Val learns to cast aside the stresses and demands of her job and to appreciate life's simplest of pleasures to the full. And why 'Faring to France on a Shoe'? Well, download a sample and then all will be clear, or just have a 'look inside'!