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How to Stay Bitter Through the Happiest Times of Your Life
Anita Liberty - 2006
But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.
Two Guys Fooling Around with the Moon
B. Kliban - 1982
Brilliantly drawn and bitterly funny, these cartoons thoroughly demonstrate better living through plywood, reaffirm that what's good for business is good for America-even if Your Government in Action has taken to the streets-the Madonna is out of order and Yoga has been made silly. 122,000 copies in print.
A Nasty Bit of Rough
David Feherty - 2002
In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.
Hometown Weekly
Bruce Lindsay - 2008
After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.
Festival Man
Geoff Berner - 2013
Follow the flailing escapades of maverick music manager Campbell Ouiniette at the Calgary Folk Festival, as he leaves a trail of empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts, bruised egos, and obliterated relationships behind him. His top headlining act has abandoned him for the Big Time. In a fit of self-delusion or pure genius (or perhaps a bit of both), Ouiniette devises an intricate scam, a last hurrah in an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of his girlfriend, the music industry, and the rest of the world. He reveals his path of destruction in his own transparently self-justifying, explosive, profane words, with digressions into the Edmonton hardcore punk rock scene, the Yugoslavian Civil War, and other epicentres of chaos.
Sister Agatha: The World's Oldest Serial Killer
Domhnall O'Donoghue - 2016
During a routine check-up, however, her doctor claims she has just a week to live, news that proves to be quite inconvenient, seeing as the beloved sister has one ambition in life: to be the oldest person in the world. At last count, she was the fifth. However, never one to admit defeat, Sister Agatha concocts a bold Plan B. Dusting off her passport, she decides to leave Irish shores for the first time in her very long life, and using the few days remaining, plans to travel across three continents and meet the only four people whose birthday cakes boast more candles than hers. And then, one by one, she intends on killing them. What the media is saying: "Domhnall [has] some mind...When they say 'comic thriller', this book does what it says on the tin...There is so much in it to enjoy...It works really, really well." ~ Gerry Kelly, Late Lunch, LMFM Radio Interview: http://utv.vo.llnwd.net/o16/LMFM/2016... • • • "A laugh-out-loud, globe-trotting adventure that is wildly unique with an enormous amount of heart. And despite Sister Agatha being a considerable 118 years of age, the naughty nun still has more energy than a school playground! One of the year's best débuts." ~ Jennifer Zamparelli, presenter of 2FM's Breakfast Republic
I Fish; Therefore, I Am: And Other Observations; Three Bestselling Works Complete in One Volume; A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?
Patrick F. McManus - 1995
Containing over 80 slice-of-life stories by a bestselling outdoor humorist, this collection brings together for the first time three works by McManus: A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, and They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?.
Gary's Children (Shingles Book 2)
Rick Gualtieri - 2018
Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.
Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes: words, wit, wisdom, one-liners and rants
Jeremy Hardy - 2020
Further reflections on Jeremy come from Rory Bremner, Paul Bassett Davies, Jon Naismith, Francesca Martinez, Sandi Toksvig, Victoria Coren Mitchell, Andy Hamilton, Graeme Garden and Hugo Rifkind. Katie Barlow also provides a moving Afterword.Jeremy Hardy, who died in February 2019, was perhaps the most distinctive and brilliant comedian to arise from the 80s Alternative Comedy circuit. He regularly entertained the millions who heard his outrageous rants on The News Quiz, his legendary singing on Sorry I Haven't a Clue, or his hilarious monologues and sketches on the award-winning Jeremy Hardy Speaks to The Nation and Jeremy Hardy Feels It. Often referred to as 'the comedian's comedian', Jeremy's comedy could be both personal and political, ranging in topics from prison reform to parenting, from British identity to sex. His comedy could be biting, provocative and illuminating, but it could also be surreal, mischievous and, at times, very silly. And while Jeremy's unwavering socialism was a thread that ran throughout his comedy, his greatest skill was that, whatever their political beliefs, Jeremy always brought his audience along with him.Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes is a fitting celebration of this brilliant comedian. Introduced by Jack Dee and Mark Steel and containing material from his stand-up to his radio monologues and political satire to the joyfully silly gems, as well as tributes from his friends and fellow comedians, it is curated to encompass everything about Jeremy that fans adored. Edited by Katie Barlow and David Tyler, Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes is wise, daft, outrageous, personal and, above all, very funny: like Jeremy himself.
'Ground-breakingly brilliant, off-the-register funny' JACK DEE
'A one-off. Part genius, part naughty schoolboy' SANDI TOKSVIG
'Unfussy, unshowy, principled, self-deprecating, hugely loved and admired by his fellow comedians and funnier than the lot of us put together' RORY BREMNER
The Modern Drunkard: A Handbook for Drinking in the 21st Century
Frank Kelly Rich - 2005
Through articles, anecdotes, cartoons, and illustrations pulled from our long and happy history of drinking alcohol, Frank Kelly Rich campaigns to revive the lost art of tippling and taps a deep vein of boozy lore and legend through the ages, uncovering etiquette and expertise from some of history's greatest guzzlers.
A Watched Pot
Mr. Blue - 2018
When his wife Cressida, invites two new friends over for dinner he offers to cook even though he has no experience with vegan food. Something troubles Graham about the couple but he can’t quite put his finger on it. He takes a journey into Facebook to find a terrible truth which creates a sinister consequence. A brooding psychological thriller with a shocking twist!