Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    Stokes Company, February 24, 1938.

    Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential.–If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid?–What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage?–If murderers can get into heaven by accepting Jesus, just how awkward is it when they run into their victims?Join Simon Rich as he explores the extraordinary and hilarious desperation that resides in ordinary life, from cradle to grave."Hilarious." -John Stewart

    With the recent death of their father, the girls must marry quickly in order to inherit their late father?s fortune.Even when Tristan finds out the three women are Mormons, a religious group he knows nothing about, he is positive he can lure Rachel into marriage?if he can convince her he?s a member of her church. Tristan soon finds himself fascinated by much more than just Rachel?s money. After a life of doing whatever?s necessary to close the deal, Tristan wonders if a fledgling testimony of the gospel can give him the strength to come clean to the woman he loves, even though it could mean losing her forever.This fresh, romantic tale is anything but your typical boy-meets-girl love story. Told with equal parts wit and heart, The Counterfeit Convert will keep you laughing while reminding you that facing consequences is the best way to conquer them.

    Worse, a secret society operating outside the law is intent on bringing the monsters back to life and restoring the creatures as rulers of mankind.Joshua and his ex-girlfriend soon find themselves pitted against vicious assassins, Russian Spetsnaz troops, and cold-blooded giants hungry for human flesh as they journey around the planet in their efforts to stop the secret society.But that’s only the start of their nightmare: Those reviving the army of giants have gained control of ancient stargates enabling an invasion of the seats of power around the globe including the Kremlin and White House. It's a massive power play that leaves the fate of the human race hanging in the balance.This fast-paced, spellbinding novel is a page-turner, with entertaining plot twists and surprises.“Adventure and mayhem, told with style!”“The characters showed personality and the book had imagination. I felt like I was watching a movie. The story line was great…. If you enjoy Stargate type movies I believe you'll like this book.”

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Brilliantly drawn and bitterly funny, these cartoons thoroughly demonstrate better living through plywood, reaffirm that what's good for business is good for America-even if Your Government in Action has taken to the streets-the Madonna is out of order and Yoga has been made silly. 122,000 copies in print.

    Riotously illustrated by Jerry "The King" Lawler, this new Christmas story will delight children, wrestling fans and readers of all ages. Make room on the shelf next to The Night Before Christmas and a Christmas Carol, because this Yuletide tale has attitude! Mick Foley - number one New York Times best-selling author, Hardcore Legend, and Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation - crafts a delightful tale of mischief, mayhern and the true meaning of Christmas. When the elves revolt against Santa and refuse to make any toys and the reindeer gang up on Rudolph as though they've joined DX, Santa Claus gives up hope that anyone these days has the true Christmas spirit. When the situation looks its bleakest, Mrs. Claus calls in the cavalry - Kane, Jericho, Val Venis, Jerry Lawler, Kurt Angle, Edge and the rest of the Federation Superstars! How the wrestlers misbehave - making things even worse - and how one unexpected and unassuming person saves Christmas for the whole world is an unforgettable and uplifting story that will add good cheer to your holiday season year after year. Perfect for reading out loud near a cracking fire or while tucked in at bed time, Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos is sure to become a family tradition in your home.

    

    Haunted by her past and unable to let go of what was, she struggles to achieve inner peace while wreaking mayhem on the streets of New York. Renee is queen of the city and runs it with an iron fist, but everything changes when people from her past resurface to seek revenge. They will stop at nothing until she’s dead. Will Renee find happiness and let go of her demons? Or will she allow her past to finish what it started?

    It now has 600,000 to a million page hits daily. Every now and then, Munroe would get emails asking him to arbitrate a science debate. 'My friend and I were arguing about what would happen if a bullet got struck by lightning, and we agreed that you should resolve it . . . ' He liked these questions so much that he started up What If. If your cells suddenly lost the power to divide, how long would you survive? How dangerous is it, really, to be in a swimming pool in a thunderstorm? If we hooked turbines to people exercising in gyms, how much power could we produce? What if everyone only had one soulmate?When (if ever) did the sun go down on the British empire? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?What would happen if the moon went away?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, studded with memorable cartoons and infographics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion. Far more than a book for geeks, WHAT IF: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions explains the laws of science in operation in a way that every intelligent reader will enjoy and feel much the smarter for having read.

    

    One shocking discovery leads to another as the animals prove to be intelligent, charismatic creatures with sinister motives. A husband and wife recently parted by adultery, an enterprising sociopath and a thirty-year-old mentally handicapped man all become pivotal to the animals’ cryptic timetable. Each strangely connected character begins to realize they are caught up in a frightening force spiraling toward a bizarre state of authoritarianism. This frenetic story is a fast and immersive read told through letters, journal entries and news transcripts.

    A city robbing and killing people since 50BC.The Vizz: an industry in crisis. Baxter Stone, a film maker and television veteran, a lifelong Londoner (who thinks he sees better than others) is having problems in the postbrain, crumbling capital. Swindled by an insurance company, he's in in debt; a Lamborghini is blocking his drive and MI6 is blocking his mobile reception. He hopes to turn it round and get the documentary series that will get him the Big Money. But what do you do if history is your sworn enemy and the whole world conspires against you? Is there any way, you could, for a moment, rule the world justly?Darkly comic, How to Rule The World follows Baxter's battle for truth, justice and classy colour grading as it takes him from the pass of Thermopylae, to the peacocking serial killers of Medieval France, and the war in Syria. A trip from the Garden of Eden to Armageddon, plus reggae.Demonstrating Fischer's inimitable talent for eviscerating social satire, How to the Rule the World is a magnificently funny read to stand alongside his best loved works, the Man Booker shortlisted Under the Frog, The Thought Gang and Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid, all of which Corsair will publish in e-book next year.

    But a lot's happened since then, and he's in the mood to discuss it all, in the inimitable style that's made him the most popular social commentator to tickle people AND tick them off. From being PC to watching MTV, from rednecks to black militants, from singing the praises of the South to sounding off on the problems of just about everywhere else, nothing and nobody escapes when Grizzard shoots from the lip...and hits the "nekkid" truth every time.