Zombie Fallout


Mark Tufo - 2010
    With fears of contracting the H1N1 virus running rampant throughout the country, people lined up in droves to try an attain one of the coveted vaccines. What was not known, was the effect this largely untested, rushed to market, inoculation was to have on the unsuspecting throngs. Within days, feverish folk throughout the country, convulsed, collapsed and died, only to be re-born. With a taste for brains, blood and bodies, these modern day zombies scoured the lands for their next meal. Overnight the country became a killing ground for the hordes of zombies that ravaged the land.This is the story of Michael Talbot, his family and his friends. This is their story a band of ordinary people just trying to get by in these extra-ordinary times. When disaster strikes, Mike a self-proclaimed survivalist, does his best to ensure the safety and security of those he cares for.Book 1 of the Zombie Fall-Out Trilogy follows our lead character in his self-deprecating, sarcastic best. What he encounters along the way leads him down a long dark road always skirting on the edge of insanity. Can he keep his family safe? Can he discover the secret behind Tommy's powers? Can he save anyone from the zombie Queen - a zombie that seems by all accounts to have some sort of hold over the zombies and Mike himself? Encircled in a seemingly safe haven called Little Turtle, Mike and his family together with the remnants of a tattered community while not fighting each other, fight against a relentless, ruthless, unstoppable force. This last bastion of civilization has made its final stand. God help them all.

A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Non-Fiction


Terry Pratchett - 2014
    A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him.With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying.

John Dies at the End


David Wong - 2007
    You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

Lick Your Neighbor


Chris Genoa - 2010
    And that's all before he leaves for work. Mutant ninjas, a talking whale, kung-fu masters, maniacal Pilgrims and an alcoholic clown populate Chris Genoa's surreal, darkly comical and unnerving reimagining of the first Thanksgiving. Put down your feathered headdresses, puritan collars and buckled shoes and prepare to get schooled in the alternate history lesson they never mentioned in grade school.

What in God's Name


Simon Rich - 2012
    For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of Miracles. Unlike their boss, Craig and Eliza love their jobs -- uncapping city fire hydrants on hot days, revealing lost keys in snow banks -- and they refuse to accept that earth is going under. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon, if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love. With doomsday fast approaching, and the humans ignoring every chance for happiness thrown their way, Craig and Eliza must move heaven and earth to rescue them -- and the rest of us, too.

The Journal of James Halldon


Glynn James - 2011
    It is a dark and terrifying place, hidden from the world we know by borders that only the most unfortunate of souls will ever cross.James Halldon woke up in the dark, alone, without any food or water, without a clue where he was, and with no memory of where he came from.It only got stranger.James has somehow found his way to The Corridor, a midnight place that no human should ever see and the prison of a creature that has destroyed entire worlds. Somehow James has to learn to survive.But he is not alone. The lost souls of others who have drifted into The Corridor, and died, also haunt this world, and they have been waiting a long time for someone to come along.The Journal of James Halldon is a dark sci-fi novel that follows Halldon's struggle to survive whilst trying to understand the strange, dark, and terrifying world in which he is trapped.If it's dark when you wake up, and you can hear growling, then close your eyes and maybe it will go away.But maybe it won't...

Barking


Tom Holt - 2007
    Of course, some monsters are scarier than others: Unicorns? Not a problem. Vampires? Big deal. Werewolves. Ho hum. Lawyers?…Aaargh! Duncan's boss doesn't think he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, along with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies, and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.

Zombie Queen of Newbury High


Amanda Ashby - 2009
    She is dating super hot football god Rob, and he actually likes her and asked her to prom! Enter Samantha?cheerleading goddess and miss popularity? who starts making a move for Rob. With prom in a few days, Mia needs to act fast. So she turns to her best friend, Candice, and decides to do a love spell on Rob. Unfortunately, she ends up inflicting a zombie virus onto her whole class, making herself their leader! At first she is flattered that everyone is treating her like a queen. But then zombie hunter hottie Chase explains they are actually fattening her up, because in a few days, Mia will be the first course in their new diet. She?s sure she and Chase can figure something out, but she suggests that no one wear white to prom, because things could get very messy.

You Are Dead.


Andrew Stanek - 2015
    (Sign Here Please) is a madcap comedy of truly ludicrous proportions. After Nathan Haynes dies, he discovers that the afterlife is run by straight-laced bureaucrats, but when he refuses to sign his 21B he is punted back to life in his insane home city of Dead Donkey. He can't rest easy, though - the bureaucrats are out to get him and they will put his papers in order, no matter the cost. Will our hero die (again)? Will the bureaucrats trick him into filling the proper forms in? Will Nathan ever get to do his laundry? Find out in You Are Dead. (Sign Here Please)!

The Royal Treatment


MaryJanice Davidson - 2002
    Instead, Alaska has won its independence and established itself as a constitutional monarchy...and now, the King of Alaska badly needs a bride for his son and heir... The country of Alaska is as forbidding as it is beautiful. And the royal family is as rough-around-the-edges as they are coolly civilized. Other royal families may find them shocking, but after all, in this wilderness kingdom, being a crack shot and expert trapper is just as important as knowing your salad fork from your dessert fork. Unfortunately, when the rest of the royals find you mildly savage, marrying off your royal brood can be a royal pain. King Alexander II is desperate. Why, he'd settle for any girl. A commoner. An American, even! Stranded tourist Christina Krabbe is American, and a commoner, but she has zero interest in enduring a royal wedding, producing royal heirs, and becoming Queen of Alaska...until she gets a good look at Prince David. He may be a bit unruly--actually, the words untamed and slightly dangerous come to mind--but Christina's no delicate flower herself. And when His Highness discovers Christina can give as good as she gets, he's Prince Charmed, if not quite charming. But can a wild man Prince and a modern American girl make a life together? And will the palace still be standing when the dust clears?

Suckers


J.A. Konrath - 2009
    On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers.Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.

The Monster Man of Horror House


Danny King - 2011
    Old, crotchety, pungent and solitary, he lives in a scary old house that is almost as rundown as he and sees out his days shuffling around the streets harvesting his neighbours' skips for scrap.The local kids take great delight in plaguing him morning, noon and night but they've chosen the wrong old coot to mess with because John Coal is no ordinary man. He knows where the bodies are buried. He's been to the outer limits. He is a keeper of dark secrets. Murder, monsters, demons and bi-polar vampires, he has seen them all and lived to tell the tale. Now, if he is to rid himself of his woes he must dig into the deepest recesses of his past and use these terrible experiences to convince his tormentors he's not just an old man to be pushed around. He is John Coal – the Monster Man of Horror House.

They're Made Out of Meat


Terry Bisson - 1991
    Here’s the correct version, as published in Omni, 1990." -- Terry Bisson

Hollow Kingdom


Kira Jane Buxton - 2019
    starts to feel like something isn't quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies--from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis--fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.Hollow Kingdom is a humorous, big-hearted, and boundlessly beautiful romp through the apocalypse and the world that comes after, where even a cowardly crow can become a hero.

The Hunger Pains: A Parody


The Harvard Lampoon - 2012
     When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.