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Eating Salad Drunk: Haikus for the Burnout Age by Comedy Greats by Gabe Henry
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New Erotica for Feminists: Satirical Fantasies of Love, Lust, and Equal Pay
Caitlin Kunkel - 2018
. . to promote me. He promotes me again and again. I am wild with ecstasy. Imagine a world where erotica was written by feminists: Their daydreams include equal pay, a gender-balanced Congress, and Tom Hardy arriving at their doorstep to deliver a fresh case of LaCroix every week. Both light-hearted and empowering, New Erotica for Feminists is a sly, satirical take on all the things that turn feminists on. From a retelling of Adam and Eve to tales of respectful Tinder dates, New Erotica for Feminists answers the question of “What do women really want?” with stories of power, equality, and an immortal Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Finding Mr. Brightside
Jay Clark - 2015
They've lived down the street from each other their whole lives. But they don't really know each other—at least, not until Juliette's mom and Abram's dad have a torrid affair that culminates in a deadly car crash. Sharing the same subdivision is uncomfortable, to say the least. They don't speak.Fast-forward to the neighborhood pharmacy, a year later. Abram decides to say hello. Then he decides to invite Juliette to Taco Bell.To her surprise as well as his, she agrees. And the real love story begins.
The Girl Who Cheated Death
Alan Baker - 2018
Ironically, recovering from her emotional and physical scars is not her biggest challenge. She is also haunted by Azrael, the angel of death. On the morning of the accident, Alex watches as Azrael takes the souls of her family. And the visions keep coming. A man with oily black hair in a pinstripe suit appears to Alex in the hospital, outside her high school, and in the woods near her campsite. She worries that she’s crazy, though Azrael appears to be just as threatened by her ability to see him. She confides in her doctor and friends and, while they appear to believe her, they are unable to help Alex banish death. Midway through the book, the narrative takes an unexpected twist and Alex’s recovery is overshadowed by the realization that she could bring her family back to life. But Azrael is determined to stop Alex’s meddling and she must enlist the help of her remaining family and friends if there is any hope for success.The Girl Who Cheated Death placed as a Semi-Finalist in the 2018 Faulkner Wisdom Competition
Violence. Speed. Momentum.
Dr. DisRespect - 2021
Wow. Too much energy. Wow. Too much anticipation. WOW. It’s the new memoir from the biggest star in gaming: Dr Disrespect.Dr Disrespect is a 6-foot-8 freak of nature with a 37-inch vertical, the two-time, back-to-back 1993-94 Blockbuster Video Game Champion, and in his factual opinion, the most dominant international gaming superstar in the history of the world. It was just a matter of time before Western civilization came begging Doc to save literature by writing a memoir that reads like a vicious, muscular lion clawing his way through the rocks, roaring in anger and dominance. Here you will find his deepest, most intimate secrets. The untold history of his mysterious, legendary origins and his rise to unparalleled dominance. And most of all, you will find out what, exactly, Doc’s a doctor of. Are you ready for a book with the rhythm of a sleazy ’70s muscleman and the ruthlessness of a ’90s serial killer? A journey that stares down the long, dark alley of your fears and never looks back? Does your warrior’s heart yearn to reach the tippity top of the mountain just to realize you’re still only halfway up? If so, firm handshakes, Champion: Welcome to the salvation of literature.
London's Number One Dog-Walking Agency
Kate MacDougall - 2021
A true love letter to London, dogs, and growing up. Aside from the odd biter or growler, the occasional bolter and the one dog who didn’t want to walk, the canines were the easy part. They were a muddy, messy joy in all shapes, sizes and breeds, from greedy Labradors to pampered pugs and everything in between. It was the owners who were the real challenge, a giddy mix of the over-protective, the clueless, the eccentrics and the perfectionists. There is no rule book on how to navigate the obsessions of the London dog owner. A degree in human psychology would have been far preferable to any sort of animal qualification. Not that I had either…In 2006, Kate MacDougall was working a safe but dull job at the venerable auction house Sotheby’s in London. After a clumsy accident nearly destroyed a precious piece of art, she quit Sotheby’s and set up her own dog-walking company. Kate knew little about dogs and nothing about business, and no one thought being a professional dog walker was a good use of her university degree. Nevertheless, Kate embarked upon an entirely new and very much improvised career walking some of the city’s many pampered pooches, branding her company “London's Number One Dog Walking Agency.” With sharp wit, delightful observations, and plenty of canine affection, Kate reveals her unique and unconventional coming-of-age story, as told through the dogs, and the London homes and neighborhoods they inhabit. One walk at a time, she journeys from a haphazard twentysomething to a happily—and surprisingly—settled adult, with love, relationships, drama, and home ownership along the way. But, as Kate says, “It’s all down to the dogs” and what they taught her about London—and life.
Donald and the Golden Crayon
P. Shauers - 2018
Tremendous. It uses all the best words. Probably the greatest book ever. I don’t know. That’s what people tell me. You're going to win so much with this book you may get tired of winning. So much winning. It’s going to be huge. Believe me. Be smart, buy this book. Make picture books great again.
Candy Hearts
Tommy Siegel - 2021
From the awkwardness of flirting during a pandemic to scrolling through disastrous dating profiles, Candy Hearts hilariously captures the secrets, lies, and misunderstandings behind every relationship. With dozens of never-before-seen comics and a special Candy Hearts sticker set, this book is the perfect Valentine’s Day (or Anti-Valentine’s Day) gift for your friends, lovers, or even yourself.
The 30 Rock Book: Inside the Iconic Show, from Blerg to EGOT
Mike Roe - 2021
It was Aaron Sorkin versus Tina Fey, and it was clear which series critics thought was more promising. The Baltimore Sun called it a competition 30 Rock “can’t win.” By November, the New York Times was noting lackluster ratings for both shows, and adding that 30 Rock was “perilously close to a flop.” But while Studio 60 was canceled after 22 episodes, Fey’s madcap buddy comedy lasted 138 episodes. It resurrected the career of Alec Baldwin, survived an extended absence by Tracy Morgan, and permeated the culture—it’s breakneck pacing, oddball characters, and extremely rich joke writing are deeply beloved by millions of fans. In this combination of narrative and oral history, culture writer and editor Mike Roe brings to life the history of the gloriously goofy show through interviews with the creators, stars, writers, and bit players.
Barely Functional Adult: It’ll All Make Sense Eventually
Meichi Ng - 2020
Prepare to excitedly shove this book in your friend’s face with little decorum as you shout, “THIS IS SO US!”In this beautiful, four-color collection compiled completely of never-before-seen content, Meichi perfectly captures the best and worst of us in every short story, allowing us to weep with pleasure at our own fallibility. Hilarious, relatable, and heart-wrenchingly honest, Barely Functional Adult will have you laughing and crying in the same breath, and taking solace in the fact that we’re anything but alone in this world
Bittman Bread: No-Knead Whole-Grain Baking for Every Day
Mark Bittman - 2021
Plus, recipes for every taste and any grain, with all the techniques and tips to bake delicious bread at home. Mark has spent years perfecting delicious, naturally leavened, whole-grain breads, and those recipes are the backbone of this innovative book. But you’ll also find baguettes, mixed-grain loaves, sandwich bread, soft pretzels, cinnamon rolls, focaccia, pizza, waffles, and much more. Like all of Bittman’s cookbooks, these recipes are straightforward—no frills or overcomplications—and get right to the heart of how to make bread, making it great for beginners, but also, with Bittman's innovative techniques and unique insights, essential for bakers of all skill levels.
Instamom
Chantel Guertin - 2021
. .It’s the influencer’s golden rule: know your niche. Kit Kidding has found hers on Instagram, where she gets paid to promote brands and share expertly curated posts about her fun, fabulous, child-free life. Kit likes kids just fine, but she passionately believes that women who choose not to become mothers shouldn’t have to face guilt. Or judgement. Or really hot chefs who turn out to be single dads. Will MacGregor is aggravating, sexy, persistent, averse to social media, and definitely a bad idea. As soon as Kit learns his parenting status, she vows to put their scorching one-night stand behind her and move on. But Will and Kit are thrown together on an Instagram campaign, and the more time she spends with him—and his whip-smart, eight-year-old daughter, Addie—the more difficult it is to stay away, much less sustain what Will so cleverly calls her “Resting Beach Face.” Kit’s picture-perfect career path is suddenly clashing with the possibility of a different future—messy, complicated, and real. Which life does she truly want? Will she have to re-invent herself? And will love still be waiting by the time she figures it out?
Logging Off
Nick Spalding - 2020
Plagued with insomnia, anxiety and neckache, he’s convinced there’s something seriously wrong with him. And the worst thing is that his doctor agrees. The diagnosis: Andy is in the grip of a self-destructive addiction to technology—he just cannot put that bloody mobile phone down.Texting, tweeting, gaming and online dating—technology rules Andy’s life. His phone even monitors his bowel movements. So how will he cope when he’s forced to follow doctor’s orders and step away from all of his beloved screens?From having to leave the flat in search of food like some kind of Neanderthal to engaging in conversations with actual people, Andy’s about to discover just how bewildering—and scary—the analogue world can be.And when his sixty-day detox hits the headlines—making him a hero to suffering technophiles everywhere—Andy is sorely tempted to pack it all in and escape in the nearest Uber.Can he get himself out of this mess, and work out how to live a better, technologically balanced life…without consulting Google even once?
A Reason for Hope
Kristin von Kreisler - 2021
On San Julian Island, across Puget Sound from Seattle, Tessa Jordan works as a bookmobile librarian, recommending books and poems to her patrons. In her spare time, she cares for a colony of feral cats. But Tessa’s simple, satisfying life is shockingly upended after she meets Nick Payne, a respected community leader, and he invites her to dinner. Far from a pleasant first date, Tessa’s evening with Nick leaves her feeling confused and upset. After deep soul-searching, she decides to step forward and accuse him of assault. Her distress grows when local prosecutor Will Armstrong declines to pursue her case, citing lack of evidence. Her main solace is Hope, a courthouse dog, trained to comfort victims through the difficult judicial process. As she lays her head in Tessa’s lap, her gentle brown eyes seem to say, Don’t worry. Everything will be all right. Will, who is Hope’s primary handler, longs to get justice for Tessa, yet knows how rocky the path will be. It’s Hope who, true to her name, shines a bright ray through the darkness. With Hope by their side, Will and Tessa find surprising strength in each other as they learn just how resilient a heart—whether human or canine—can be.
Southern Lady Code: Essays
Helen Ellis - 2019
While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.Making a marriage magically tidy --Topeka three-way --How to stay happily married --Free to be...you and me (and childfree) --Room of one's own (that's full of gay men) --Other woman's Burberry coat --Peggy Sue got marijuana --What every girl should learn from ABC's The bachelor --Ghost experience --Party foul --Today was a good day --Straighten up and fly right. --Halloween people --Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1979 --How to be the best guest --When to write a thank-you note --An Emily Post for the apocalypse --How I watch pornography like a lady --Dumb boobs --Young ladies, listen to me --Seven things I'm doing instead of a neck lift --Serious women --That kind of woman
Promise That You Will Sing About Me: The Power and Poetry of Kendrick Lamar
Miles Marshall Lewis - 2021
Widely known for his incredible lyrics and powerful music, he is regarded as one of the greatest rappers of all time. In Promise That You Will Sing About Me, pop culture critic and music journalist Miles Marshall Lewis explores Kendrick Lamar’s life, his roots, his music, his lyrics, and how he has shaped the musical landscape. With incredible graphic design, quotes, lyrics and commentary from Ta-Nehisi Coates, Alicia Garza and more, this book provides an in-depth look at how Kendrick came to be the powerhouse he is today and how he has revolutionized the industry from the inside.