Book picks similar to
Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood by Heide Goody
horror
humor
weird-absurdist-uncanny
xmas
Kingdom of Yesterday's Lies
Hayley Osborn - 2020
It could be that the handsome dark-haired fae helping her find her mother is adamant she’s fae. Or the fact that her ears—which she thought were deformed from birth—may have been chopped off by her mother to hide her heritage. Or perhaps it’s that her life has become so messed up, she’s relying on the help of that handsome fae, when the fae have been her enemy for as long as she can remember.Either way, it seems like everyone wants her dead and she doesn’t know why. Everyone except the dark-haired fae, that is. He doesn’t want her dead, and though she’d admit it to no one, she wants to be something very different from his enemy.Her mother knows what’s going on. Bria’s just got to find her, help her escape the king and make her explain.But the more Bria learns, the more she realizes the truth might not set her free. It’s more likely to imprison her and steal away everything she’s ever loved. Including the dark-haired fae.With a nod to Cinderella and a slow burn romance, KINGDOM OF YESTERDAY'S LIES will appeal to fans of Sarah J Mass and Holly Black, and anyone who enjoys fae royalty.
The Wolves of Solomon
R.L. Blackhurst - 2010
When he discovers the truth of their nature, he vows to destroy the Order and have the Knights burned to the last.When hundreds of Templars are arrested in France and Catherine is taken by De Floyran, Galeren resolves to rescue her and save as many of his brethren as he can. Alone, he journeys to France and into the heart of danger to face his enemy and risk everything to save his race from destruction.
Within the Mind
Alice Winters - 2019
He’s smart, sexy, and confident, much to Chevy’s annoyance. They’ve worked with each other for two years, and even though Chevy might secretly find his partner charming and attractive, playful harassment is all they have. Chevy was born with a unique gift that allows him to go into the memories of others. As detective, he uses this ability to find peace for victims who have been hurt or attacked. He delves into their memories and can pick out minute details that will help them put the criminal behind bars. But neither Chevy nor Seneca are prepared when they are asked to go into the mind of a serial killer in hopes of finding survivors. They are even more unprepared for the monsters they find inside the man’s mind. Drawn into a memory where it’s hard to figure out where the truth exists, they realize that there may be more to the serial killer than they originally thought. The dark world draws the two men together in a way they never dreamed. It will take everything Chevy and Seneca can give to stop the darkness that could consume their minds. As the two are forced to face what is keeping them apart, together they realize that there’s more to the mind and heart than either of them know. Within the Mind is a 90k word romantic suspense with lots of snark, an ominous gramophone, and finger cuddling, because we all know spooning isn’t as great as it sounds.
Hal Spacejock
Simon Haynes - 2001
Unfortunately, this results in no customers, no cargo jobs and no hope of paying off the huge loan on his precious ship.When a debt collector kicks in his airlock and threatens his life, Hal grabs the nearest job and blasts off without reading the fine print. Can he deliver the freight and pay off his debt, or is this Hal’s last cargo run?
That Darn Squid God
Nick Pollotta - 2004
While most of Humanity finds the event fascinating, two British explorers know the horrible truth. The rotating moon is the legendary sign that foreshadows the return of a prehistoric demon, the monstrous destroyer of Atlantis, an unkillable colossus known only as the deadly, dreaded Squid God.Racing around the world, and against the clock, Prof. Einstein and Lord Carstairs battle the fanatical legions of Squid God worshippers in a valiant effort to stop the ghastly rebirthing ceremony and keep the demonic mollusk locked in the stygian depths of its unearthly lair. Authors Nick Pollotta & James Clay have lovingly crafted a splendid Fantasy/Adventure, heavily laced with their classic off-the-wall humor, and sprinkled with a light dusting of parody toward the legendary works of H.P. Lovecraft, H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and just about everything else from the golden glory days of Victorian England."Rewrites literary history, remodels London worse than the Blitz, and convinces that it is wise never to deny the supremacy of British womanhood! What more can you ask?" --ANALOG
Slouch Witch
Helen Harper - 2017
If it were up to Ivy herself, she would like to hang out on the couch all day, watch series, munch junk food and have arguments with her cat. But due to a bureaucratic mistake, Ivy becomes a victim of a reversed identity and involuntarily - very, very involuntarily! - hurled right into the Arcane Branch, the investigative agency of the Holy Order of Magical Enlightenment.Ivy's problems quickly quadruple when a valuable object was stolen and she was forced to work with Adeptus Exemptus Raphael Winter. Raphael's sapphire-blue eyes somehow make butterflies flutter in Ivy's stomach, but the adeptus actually shows everything that Ivy deeply rejects: the joyless pitfalls of too much stoic witchcraft. And the longer Raphael Ivy sucks, the greater your desire ... to turn him into a frog!
Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper
J.L. Bryan - 2014
Part detective, part paranormal exterminator, Ellie operates out of Savannah, Georgia, the most haunted city in the United States.When a family contacts her to deal with a disturbing presence in the old mansion they’ve recently purchased, Ellie first believes it to be a typical, by-the-book specter, a residual haunting by a restless spirit. Instead, she finds herself confronting an evil older and more powerful than she’d ever expected, rooted in the house’s long and sordid history of luxury, sin, and murder. The dangerous entity seems particularly interested in her clients’ ten-year-old daughter.Soon her own life is in danger, and Ellie must find a way to exorcise the darkness of the house before it can kill her, her clients, or their frightened young child.
Bloodsucking Fiends
Christopher Moore - 1995
But when she wakes up under an alley dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never imagined possible.
A Cosy Countryside Christmas (Life on the Moors, #6)
Eliza J. Scott - 2021
After having her fingers burnt, she’s been resolutely single for the last year and has sworn to stay that way.Joss Campion’s still reeling from a messy divorce and has vowed never to open his heart to love again.Growing up in the picturesque village of Lytell Stangdale, with the North Yorkshire Moors as their playground, Joss and Ella were best friends. The pair were inseparable.Until the day something happened to ruin their friendship and Joss moved away.An urgent telephone call summons Joss back to the village. His father’s been rushed to hospital and he’s needed to run the farm. When he returns, with his loyal canine companion, Sid, in tow, it isn’t long before he realises things aren’t as they seem. Why is his brother, Rich, being so evasive? And why does he get the impression the farm’s in trouble?Teaching Assistant, Ella, has just broken up for the Christmas holidays and is looking forward to spending more time on her parents’ farm, tending her variety of rescue animals and recharging her batteries.It isn’t long before the pair run into one another and sparks of attraction begin to fly - not that either of them will admit to it. But, just before Christmas, they find themselves thrown together in an unexpected turn of events as a fierce snow blizzard rages around them.Could this be the moment that changes everything? Or is their past too big to ignore?One thing’s for certain, life’s never dull in this little corner of the North Yorkshire Moors.Join Ella and Joss – and all the usual Lytell Stangdale characters – for a heartwarming festive read
Condition Black (A novella)
Tom Barber - 2013
Everyone around him is dead. He has no idea where he is, or who shot him and his squad down.He soon discovers he’s on one of the moons orbiting Mars, not far from the main colony and his transport back to Earth. Two members of a mining team stationed on the moon come out to investigate. They take Miller back to their base where he manages to send out a call for help.He has ninety minutes to wait for rescue.But those ninety minutes are going to feel like a lifetime.Miller quickly realises that something in the station is wrong.There seems to be more to this place than meets the eye.Strange and unsettling events suggest things are not quite as they appear.As the minutes until his rescue tick by and he begins to finally figure out what is going on, Miller is forced to confront echoes from his past as well as his deepest fears in a situation that is becoming more terrifying by the second.And he soon learns that some nightmares don’t stop when you wake up.
The Archived
Victoria Schwab - 2013
The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive.Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive.Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall.In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain, trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.
Dark of Night (Glasgow Kiss, #1)
C.S. Duffy - 2017
When Lorna’s body is found in the Campsies, Ruari sets out to retrace her last steps in the hopes of finding her killer – but somebody has beaten him to it. Now the hunt is on for a serial killer terrorising Glasgow.Dark of night is a fast-paced, twisty serial killer thriller set in Glasgow, turbo-charged with Scandi-esque noir and black humour.
Private Lies
Cynthia St. Aubin - 2018
Aubin…
During Jane Avery’s shady childhood, truth was always a moving target. Since then, she’s learned that colorful fictions can clean up a lot of life’s messes—and she learned from the best. Her mother, Alexis Avery, is the most imaginatively duplicitous private eye in Denver. When the mother of invention goes missing, Jane knows that only her acquired skills of deceit can solve the mystery.It’s what aspiring lawyer Jane doesn’t know that’s left her blindsided. For starters, Alexis’s secret two-year affair with fellow PI Paul Gladstone, or her latest client—a sleazy and deadly gazillionaire architect whose exploits keep the tabloids in business. Sure, Alexis has carved out a niche for danger. But this investigation is leading Jane down a rabbit hole of kidnapping, bribery, blackmail, hired assassins, and murder.Maybe Jane doesn’t know her mother at all. Maybe to find her, Jane has to face the truth. She just hopes she can recognize it when she sees it. It could save both their lives.
Sandman Slim
Richard Kadrey - 2009
Or, if you’re James Stark, you spend eleven years in Hell as a hitman before finally escaping, only to land back in the hell-on-earth that is Los Angeles.Now Stark’s back, and ready for revenge. And absolution, and maybe even love. But when his first stop saddles him with an abusive talking head, Stark discovers that the road to absolution and revenge is much longer than you’d expect, and both Heaven and Hell have their own ideas for his future.Resurrection sucks. Saving the world is worse.Darkly twisted, irreverent, and completely hilarious, Sandman Slim is the breakthrough novel by an acclaimed author.