Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy


Jessica Fern - 2020
    Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

Free Agent Lifestyle: Men's Guide To Peace, Quiet and Freedom


Greg Adams - 2019
    This lifestyle can be a temporary sabbatical from the plantation of expectation, commitment and pursuing women or it can be a lifetime change. There is no greater form of empowerment to have than to realize that this life has so much more to offer those that live free.

The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love


Ty Tashiro - 2014
    Ty Tashiro explores how and why we fall in love. Dr. Tashiro, an acclaimed relationship psychologist, translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first book to revolutionize the way we search for love. His own research has pinpointed why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to love and how to rewire our brains to make smarter choices.Illustrated using entertaining stories based on real-life situations and backed by scientific findings from fields such as demography, sociology, medical science and psychology, Dr. Tashiro provides an accessible framework to help singles find their happily-ever-afters.

Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study


George E. Vaillant - 2012
    The now-classic "Adaptation to Life" reported on the men's lives up to age 55 and helped us understand adult maturation. Now George Vaillant follows the men into their nineties, documenting for the first time what it is like to flourish far beyond conventional retirement.Reporting on all aspects of male life, including relationships, politics and religion, coping strategies, and alcohol use (its abuse being by far the greatest disruptor of health and happiness for the study's subjects), "Triumphs of Experience" shares a number of surprising findings. For example, the people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa. While the study confirms that recovery from a lousy childhood is possible, memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength. Marriages bring much more contentment after age 70, and physical aging after 80 is determined less by heredity than by habits formed prior to age 50. The credit for growing old with grace and vitality, it seems, goes more to ourselves than to our stellar genetic makeup.

Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity


David D. Gilmore - 1990
    Gilmore explores this question in "a provocative, rewarding cross-cultural survey." (Publishers Weekly) In the first cross-cultural study of manhood as an achieved status, anthropologist David D. Gilmore finds that a culturally sanctioned stress on manliness—on toughness and aggressiveness, stoicism and sexuality—is almost universal, deeply ingrained in the consciousness of hunters and fishermen, workers and warriors, poets and peasants who have little else in common.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy


Greg Behrendt - 2005
    Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He's Just Not That Into You, comes It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.There's no doubt about it--breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it's time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One-and start turning your breakup into a breakover.The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through "he-tox," to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality-- seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work


Eli J. Finkel - 2017
     The institution of marriage in America is struggling. But as Eli Finkel's most recent research reveals, the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. Still, the quality of the average marriage is in decline. This book reverse engineers the best marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--showing how any marriage can be better. Why do some celebrity marriages work and others don't? Finkel provides insight into the lives of household names such as Elizabeth Gilbert and Neil Strauss, as well as one marriage that delivered three Olympic gold medals in 2016. Finkel digs deeper with a sweeping historic overview showing that the primary function of marriage from 1776 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence. From 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. Nowadays, marriage is all about self-discovery, self-esteem, and personal growth. (Will your spouse give you that?) Ultimately, this much-needed book delivers practical advice for immediate action as well as long-term strategies: seven "love hacks" that take little time or reflection; four categories of how to channel greater levels of effort; and three ways of recalibrating the marriage so expectations match reality--and happiness can flourish.

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It


Kamal Ravikant - 2012
    Afterwards, people came up individually and told me how much what I'd shared meant to them. This book is based on the truth I spoke about.It's something I learned from within myself, something I believed saved me. And more than that, the way I set about to do it. This is a collection of thoughts on what I learned, what worked, what didn't. Where I succeed and importantly, where I fail daily.The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you were hanging off a cliff with your fingers. As if your life depended upon it. Once you get going, it's not hard to do. Just takes commitment and I'll share how I did it. It's been transformative for me. I know it will be transformative for you as well.

The Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It . . . Every Time


Maria Konnikova - 2015
    How do they do it? Why are they successful? And what keeps us falling for it, over and over again? These are the questions that journalist and psychologist Maria Konnikova tackles in her mesmerizing new book.   From multimillion-dollar Ponzi schemes to small-time frauds, Konnikova pulls together a selection of fascinating stories to demonstrate what all cons share in common, drawing on scientific, dramatic, and psychological perspectives. Insightful and gripping, the book brings readers into the world of the con, examining the relationship between artist and victim. The Confidence Game asks not only why we believe con artists, but also examines the very act of believing and how our sense of truth can be manipulated by those around us.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion


George J. Thompson - 1993
    Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


John Gray - 1992
    Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship


Mira Kirshenbaum - 1996
    A careful line of 36 questions and self-analysis techniques designed to get to the heart of relationship and marriage problems.  This straightforward and practical advice is designed for newer and older relationships, and presents a plethora of information and experience in a clear, concise manner.

Loserthink: How Untrained Brains Are Ruining America


Scott Adams - 2019
     If you've been on social media lately, or turned on your TV, you may have noticed a lot of dumb ideas floating around."We know when history will repeat and when it won't.""We can tell the difference between evidence and coincidences.""The simplest explanation is usually true."Wrong, wrong, and dangerous!If we're not careful, loserthink would have us believe that every Trump supporter is a bigoted racist, addicts should be responsible for fixing the opioid epidemic, and that your relationship fell apart simply because you chewed with your mouth open.Even the smartest people can slip into loserthink's seductive grasp. This book will teach you how to spot and avoid it--and will give you scripts to respond when hollow arguments are being brandished against you, whether by well-intentioned friends, strangers on the internet, or political pundits. You'll also learn how to spot the underlying causes of loserthink, like the inability to get ego out of your decisions, thinking with words instead of reasons, failing to imagine alternative explanations, and making too much of coincidences.Your bubble of reality doesn't have to be a prison. This book will show you how to break free--and, what's more, to be among the most perceptive and respected thinkers in every conversation.

It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single


Sara Eckel - 2014
    Even the most self-possessed singleton may come to doubt herself. ?"You're too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you'll be fine." "You're too desperate. If men think you need them, they'll run scared." "You're too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates." "You have low self-esteem. You can't love someone else until you've learned to love yourself.""You're too needy. You can't be happy in a relationship until you've learned to be happy on your own." It's Not You is structured around the many messages that singles, especially single women, get about who they are and who they're supposed to be. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with single women, Eckel creates a strong argument for why you should love yourself as you are--no change necessary. By debunking the myths that have kept single women doubting themselves, Eckel encourages singles to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them, as they begin to understand and accept there's no one reason they're single--they just are.

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age


Sherry Turkle - 2015
    And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection. Preeminent author and researcher Sherry Turkle has been studying digital culture for over thirty years. Long an enthusiast for its possibilities, here she investigates a troubling consequence: at work, at home, in politics, and in love, we find ways around conversation, tempted by the possibilities of a text or an email in which we don’t have to look, listen, or reveal ourselves. We develop a taste for what mere connection offers. The dinner table falls silent as children compete with phones for their parents’ attention. Friends learn strategies to keep conversations going when only a few people are looking up from their phones. At work, we retreat to our screens although it is conversation at the water cooler that increases not only productivity but commitment to work. Online, we only want to share opinions that our followers will agree with – a politics that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of the public square. The case for conversation begins with the necessary conversations of solitude and self-reflection. They are endangered: these days, always connected, we see loneliness as a problem that technology should solve. Afraid of being alone, we rely on other people to give us a sense of ourselves, and our capacity for empathy and relationship suffers. We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere: conversation is the cornerstone for democracy and in business it is good for the bottom line. In the private sphere, it builds empathy, friendship, love, learning, and productivity. But there is good news: we are resilient. Conversation cures. Based on five years of research and interviews in homes, schools, and the workplace, Turkle argues that we have come to a better understanding of where our technology can and cannot take us and that the time is right to reclaim conversation. The most human—and humanizing—thing that we do. The virtues of person-to-person conversation are timeless, and our most basic technology, talk, responds to our modern challenges. We have everything we need to start, we have each other.