Jessica Lost: A Story of Birth, Adoption The Meaning of Motherhood


Bunny Crumpacker - 2011
    The daughter's search begins 40 years later, as she slowly, painstakingly, stitches together her story.These intertwined tales give us two unforgettable points of view of a remarkable journey-and of the multiple meanings of motherhood.

Ithaka: A Daughter's Memoir of Being Found


Sarah Saffian - 1998
    I think I'm your birth mother."The phone call, wholly unexpected, instantly turned Sarah Saffian's world upside-down, threatening her sense of family, identity, self. Adopted as an infant twenty-three years before, living happily in New York, Sarah had been "found" by her biological parents despite her reluctance to embrace them.In this searing, lyrical memoir, Sarah chronicles her painful journey from confusion and anger to acceptance and, finally, reunion--but not until three soul-searching years had passed. In spare, luminous prose, Sarah Saffian crafts a powerful story of self-discovery and belonging--a deeply personal memoir told with grace, eloquence, and compassion. At once heartbreaking and profoundly uplifting, Ithaka is sure to touch anyone who has grappled with who they are.

Saving Henry: A Mother's Journey


Laurie Strongin - 2010
    Saving Henry is a memoir of the author's struggle to save the life of her son Henry, who suffered from a rare childhood illness. Henry was born with a heart condition that was operable, but which proved to be a precursor for a rare, almost-always fatal illness: Fanconi anemia.  Laurie, Henry's mom, decided to do everything in her power to fight the course of the disease. She and her husband signed on for a brand new procedure called PGD that, through in vitro fertilization combined with genetic testing, was supposed to be able to produce a new baby who was a carrier of the gene, but who would not become ill with it. The stem cells from the umbilical cord could then be implanted into Henry's body and ultimately save him. As Laurie puts it, "I believe in love and science, nothing more and nothing less."Laurie and her husband had a second child who was healthy but not an FA carrier, and then went through nine failed courses of PGD before they had to give up. Meanwhile, the feisty little boy who loved Batman, Cal Ripken, and root beer-flavored anesthesia captivated everyone who came in contact with him, from New York City to Minneapolis, with his spunk and "never give up" attitude.   Henry was the little kid who, when the nurses came to take blood samples, brandished his Harry Potter sword and said, "Bring it on!" and when he lost his hair after a chemo treatment, he declared, "Hey, I look like Michael Jordan!" Laurie became a lobbyist for stem cell research, testifying before Congress, written up by Lisa Belkin in the New York Times and other media, and appearing on Nightline to discuss Henry's case and the importance of the research. Throughout it all, Henry's courage and bravery were a source of inspiration for the many nurses, doctors, friends and family who interacted with him-- and he has saved many lives through his participation in groundbreaking research. This is the moving and incredibly inspiring story of this family's search for a cure, and the impact their amazing son had on the lives of so many.

The Other Mother: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption


Carol Schaefer - 1991
    She was also pregnant. When her boyfriend’s family opposed their marrying, her parents sequestered her in a Catholic home for unwed mothers a state away, where she was isolated and where secrecy prevailed. She had only to give up her baby for her sin to be forgiven and then all would soon be forgotten she was told. The child, in turn, would be placed with a “good” family, instead of having his life ruined by the stigma of illegitimacy. Carol tried to find the strength to oppose this dogma but her shame had become too deep. “The first time I looked deep into my son’s eyes, I felt like a criminal. As I unwrapped his hospital blanket and took in the heady fragrance of a newborn, I feared the nurses or the sisters would come in and slap me for contaminating my own son.” Finding no way out, she signed the fateful papers leaving her son in the hands of strangers, but with a vow to her baby she would find him one day. For years, Carol struggled to forget and live the “normal” life promised, not understanding the consequences of the trauma she’d endured. On his eighteenth birthday, she set out to find him, although the law denied access to records. Her search became a spiritual quest to reclaim her own lost self, as she came to understand the emotional and psychological wounds she and other mothers like her had endured. Against all odds she succeeded in finding him and discovered that in many ways they had never really been apart. With her son’s encouragement and his adoptive mother’s cooperation, she tells their story.

Eating Pomegranates: A Memoir of Mothers, Daughters, and the BRCA Gene


Sarah Gabriel - 2009
    But then at age forty-four, she was diagnosed with breast cancer—the result of M18T, an inherited mutation on the BRCA1 gene that had taken the lives of her mother and countless female ancestors. Eating Pomegranates is Gabriel’s candid and incredibly intimate story of being forced to acknowledge that while you can try to overcome the loss of a parent, you can never escape your genetic legacy.Being diagnosed with the same disease that killed her mother compelled Gabriel to write this story. In her struggle for survival, she recounts the rigors of her treatments and considers the impact of a microscopic piece of DNA on generations of her family’s dynamics. She also revisits her past in an effort to reclaim her identity and learn more about the mother who disappeared too early from her life. Beautiful and brutal, Eating Pomegranates—like the myth of Persephone and Demeter, which inspires the title—is about mothers and motherless daughters. It is about a woman so afraid of abandoning her children that she is hardly able to look at them, and about the history of breast cancer itself, from early radical surgeries to contemporary medicine.Combining passion, humor, fierce intelligence, and clinical detail, Eating Pomegranates is an extraordinary book about an all-too-ordinary disease.

Dear Birthmother


Kathleen Silber - 1991
    Gently provocative, warm and convincing, this open adoption guide includes actual letters between adoptive parents and birthparents, and between the latter and the children they have

The Sacred Thread: A True Story of Becoming a Mother and Finding a Family--Half a World Away


Adrienne Arieff - 2012
    * The remarkable story of how two women, half a world apart, were able to create one family.

Until We All Come Home: A Harrowing Journey, a Mother's Courage, a Race to Freedom


Kim De Blecourt - 2012
    Nothing, however, could have prepared de Blecourt for the twisted nightmare she would endure. During her year-long struggle to extricate her newly adopted little boy from that post-Soviet country's corrupt social service and judicial systems, de Blecourt was insulted, physically assaulted, and arrested. Worse, her months of loneliness, worry, and fear drove her to the brink of spiritual despair. But God had no intention of abandoning de Blecourt or her family. Her amazing story-culminating in a spine-chilling race to freedom-offers dramatic proof that God's light shines on even in the deepest darkness.

The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant


Dan Savage - 1999
    In The Kid, Savage tells a no-holds-barred, high-energy story of an ordinary American couple who wants to have a baby. Except that in this case the couple happens to be Dan and his boyfriend. That fact, in the face of a society enormously uneasy with gay adoption, makes for an edgy, entertaining, and illuminating read. When Dan and his boyfriend are finally presented with an infant badly in need of parenting, they find themselves caught up in a drama that extends well beyond the confines of their immediate world. A story about confronting homophobia, falling in love, getting older, and getting a little bit smarter, The Kid is a book about the very human desire to have a family.

An Unconventional Family


Sandra Lipsitz Bem - 1998
    During the next ten years, they exuberantly shared the details of their daily lives in both public lectures and the mass media in order to provide at least one concrete example of an alternative to the traditional heterosexual family. In the 1990s, Sandra Bem also published an award-winning book, The Lenses of Gender, which spelled out the feminist theory behind their feminist practices.This second book by Sandra Bem, an autobiographical account of the Bems` nearly thirty-year marriage, is both a personal history of the Bems` past and a social history of a key period in feminism`s past. It is also a look into feminism`s future, because the Bems` children, Emily and Jeremy, now in their early twenties, speak at length in the book as well.Bem analyzes what aspects of family background and psychological makeup led her and Daryl to bond so immediately and to become gender pioneers. She describes the egalitarianism and feminist child-rearing that they invented for their private needs and tells how these family agendas were transformed into public feminist discourse. Finally she reassesses this early feminist union now that the marriage has come to an end and the children are young adults, evaluating (with the help of lengthy interviews with Emily and Jeremy and a brief epilogue by Daryl) what the Bems` experiences—both positive and negative—have to say about the viability and necessity of nontraditional gender arrangements in society today.

End of the Rope: Mountains, Marriage, and Motherhood


Jan Redford - 2018
    "Compassionate and courageous, End of the Rope shows us that there are many types of bravery required, not just in the wilderness, but in surviving day to day life." —Tanis Rideout, author of Above All Things After the love of her life is killed in an avalanche, a grieving Jan finds comfort in the arms of his climbing buddy, an extreme alpinist. But their marriage soon falters. While her husband logs forests and dreams of distant peaks, Jan has children, and takes on a wife’s traditional role. Over the following years, however, she pursues her own dream, one that pits her against her husband—attending university, and ultimately, gaining independence.End of the Rope is Jan's telling of heart-stopping adventures, from a harrowing rescue off El Capitan to leading a group of bumbling cadets across a glacier. It is her laughter-filled memoir of learning to climb, and of friendships with women in that masculine world. Most moving, this is her story of claiming freedom from a crushing marriage, an act of bravery equal to climbing mountains.

Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption


Vanessa McGrady - 2019
    Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true. Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture: when Grace’s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay.Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions complicated by missed opportunities, regret, social chaos, and broken hearts.Written with wit, candor, and compassion, Rock Needs River is, ultimately, Vanessa’s love letter to her daughter, one that illuminates the universal need for connection and the heroine’s journey to find her tribe.

On the Outskirts of Normal: Forging a Family against the Grain


Debra Monroe - 2010
    Its isolation—miles from her teaching job in a neighboring city—feels right. She buys the house and ultimately doubles its size as she waits for the call from the adoption agency to tell her she’s going to be a mom. Now in her forties, she is swept into the strange new world of single motherhood, complicated by the fact that she’s white and her daughter is black. As Monroe learns to deal with her daughter’s hair and to re-enter the dating scene, all the while coping with her own and her daughter’s major illnesses, they live under the magnified scrutiny of the small, conservative town.  Confronting her past in order to make a better life for her daughter, Monroe rebuilds not only a half-ruined cabin in the woods but her sense of what it is that makes a sustainable family.“Having driven across the country to see her brand-new adopted granddaughter, Debra Monroe’s mother says the first thing that comes into her head: ‘I knew she’d be black, but not this black.’  Monroe simply says, ‘Mom, there’s a blank in the baby book called Grandma’s First Words.’  The sly, dry humor of this, the offering of the second chance, the reminder that everything, even the mistakes, will be written down—tells you most of what you need to know about Monroe’s approach to life, and to memoir. Her generosity of spirit never fails her.”—Marion Winik, author of First Comes Love“Monroe’s memoir forges a remarkable canniness about motherhood and its twin perils, grief and love.”—Karen Brennan, author of Being with Rachel

Make Me a Mother: A Memoir


Susanne Paola Antonetta - 2014
    After meeting their six-month-old son, Jin, at the airport—an incident made memorable when Susanne, so eager to meet her son, is chased down by security—Susanne and her husband learn lessons common to all parents, such as the lack of sleep and the worry and joy of loving a child. They also learn lessons particular to their own family: not just how another being can take over your life but how to let an entire culture in, how to discuss birth parents who gave up a child, and the tricky steps required to navigate race in America.In the end, her relationship with her son teaches Susanne to understand her own troubled childhood and to forgive and care for her own aging parents. Susanne comes to realize how, time and time again, all families have to learn to adopt one another.

The Complete Book of International Adoption: A Step by Step Guide to Finding Your Child


Dawn Davenport - 2006
    You will find: • An easy-to-understand analysis of the differences between domestic and international adoption• Advice on choosing a country, including 25 important factors to consider, such as the waiting times involved and the estimated costs for each of the top placing countries, with charts for easy comparison• A detailed discussion of the potential health issues based on the latest research and interviews with doctors who specialize in international adoption • Worksheets and a suggested system for preparing and organizing the extensive paperwork involved• Parenting tips to enhance attachment and suggestions for addressing the issues that come up in raising an internationally adopted child• Real parents’ stories and advice at every stage of the process• Plus all of the information you need to select your agency, plan financially, prepare for the home study, travel sensibly, evaluate your child’s health and integrate your new familyMore than just provide the facts, The Complete Book of International Adoption also helps parents manage the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the territory. Sensitive, wise, and often witty, this book is a must-have for any parent considering building their family through adoption.