And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

    Gene Shalit, The Today Show God has appeared on earth to set the record straight in this uproarious comic novel, adapted into the movie comedy starring George Burns. God is here to confront nonbelievers, taking his messenger and the reader on a wildly funny roller coaster ride. As God Himself says, The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets and before that the 1914 Boston Braves and before that I think you have to go back to the Red Sea." "Looking back, I made a few mistakes. Giraffes. It was a good thought, but it didn t really work out. Avocados on that I made the pit too big.

    Of endless weekdays, working weekends, making presentations, working with complicated Excel sheets, handling a boss with time-management issues and the general politics of the workplace. Sigh! After eight years of this life, her only personal insight is that she's terribly unambitious and constantly struggling to be an average performer in the competitive corporate world. When a colleague flashes the glint of a golden sabbatical she catapults into it headfirst. After all, one has to find one's calling at some point in one's life. So will the sabbatical miraculously change her life forever? Or will she go rushing back to her pocket money-generating job?

    Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn’t misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours!You awake to the sound of the phone ringing.“Hello?”You hear a man’s voice. It is muffled. “We’ve got Julia.”“Wait, what do you mean?”“We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---”“Whoa, she’s not my girlfriend,” you say. “I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think.”“We understand,” the voice says. “But she’s new to the city, and presently, you’re all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we’ll blow her head off.”If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173.If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183.BE VERY CAREFUL! You’re directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It’s YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you’ve got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

    Kindle Serials are stories published in episodes, with future episodes delivered at no additional cost. This serial currently contains one episode out of an estimated six total episodes, and new episodes will be delivered every week. Several hundred years in the future, a depopulated Earth has become a tolerant, progressive paradise. What could be better—or duller? Meanwhile, Mars is home to New Austin, a freewheeling human colony fabled to make Las Vegas look like a meditation retreat. After breaking the polite laws of Earth, earnest schoolteacher Jordan Kincaid finds himself forced to relocate. It’s either life on Mars or life behind bars.But what promised to be Xanadu is more like Blade Runner . . . only with more waiting in line. Trend-chasing hipsters and obnoxious tourists have swarmed into New Austin at the expense of poverty-stricken locals, all overseen by a greedy megamogul bent on transforming the city into a gentrified nightmare. When a sexy but sinister heiress seduces Jordan, he finds himself on the wrong side of a literal real-estate rebellion, as the filthy rich and dirt poor battle for control of the next hot neighborhood. Forget about keeping it weird, someone’s got to keep Mars from becoming a hell off Earth.Episode ListAn additional episode will be delivered every week until the book is complete. New episodes will be added to the same book on your Kindle, keeping your place and retaining your notes and highlights. You'll be notified via email when a new episode has been delivered.Episode 1: October 27, 2015. : In the future, when life on Earth is nearly perfect—and perfectly boring—twenty-six-year-old Jordan Kincaid’s crime of passion gets him ebxiled to Mars…where life will never be the same.Episode 2: November 3, 2015. : The rocky voyage to Mars takes a turn for the better when a beautiful billionaire makes Jordan a VIP member of the several-million-miles-high club.Episode 3: November 10, 2015.: When the rich take on the rest in a Martian real-estate battle royal, Jordan and his buddy Leonard realize even best friends can end up at odds.Episode 4: November 17, 2015.: As the wealthy elite rendezvous to revel on a Martian mountain, the Resistance sets its sights on sabotage.Episode 5: November 24, 2015. The Mars by Mars Festival goes south in a New Austin minute when the Resistance crashes the party—and the real-estate war gets fatally real.Episode 6: December 1, 2015. As the battle for power, property, and the future of Mars heats up, Jordan and Leonard face off against each other…and face down their destinies.

    In the festering sewers below a darker game is afoot: a Wall Street takeover artist has been murdered, and Gant’s crusading ex-wife, Joan Fine, has been hired to find out why. The year is 2023, and Ayn Rand has been resurrected and bottled in a hurricane lamp to serve as Joan's assistant; an eco-terrorist named Philo Dufrense travels in a pink-and-green submarine designed by Howard Hughes; a Volkswagen Beetle is possessed by the spirit of Abbey Hoffman; Meisterbrau, a mutant great white shark, is running loose in the sewers beneath Times Square; and a one-armed 181-year-old Civil War veteran joins Joan and Ayn in their quest for the truth. All of whom, and many more besides, are caught up in a vast conspiracy involving Walt Disney, J. Edgar Hoover, and a mob of homicidal robots.

    He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed" is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er do well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way, Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida Skunk Ape.

    Life with Hazel's father is strained at best, but it's got to be better than her marriage to dominating tech billionaire, Byron Gogol. For over a decade, Hazel has been quarantining in Byron's family compound, her every movement and vital sign tracked. So when Byron demands to wirelessly connect the two of them via brain chips, turning Hazel into a human guinea pig, she makes a run for it. Will Hazel be able to free herself from Byron's virtual clutches before he finds her?

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    His car is idling, like his life, outside the Hollywood mansion of Kathi Kannon. THE Kathi Kannon, star of stage and screen and People magazine’s worst dressed list. She needs an assistant. He needs a hero.Kathi is an icon, bestselling author, and an award winning actress, most known for her role as Priestess Talara in the iconic blockbuster sci-fi film. She’s also known for another role: crazy Hollywood royalty. Admittedly so. Famously so. Fabulously so.Charlie gets the job, and embarks on an odyssey filled with late night shopping sprees, last minute trips to see the aurora borealis, and an initiation to that most sacred of Hollywood tribes: the personal assistant. But Kathi becomes much more than a boss, and as their friendship grows, Charlie must make a choice. Will he always be on the sidelines of life, assisting the great forces that be, or can he step into his own leading role?Laugh-out-loud funny, and searingly poignant, Byron Lane's A Star is Bored is a novel that, like the star at its center, is enchanting and joyous, heartbreaking and hopeful.

    G. Wodehouse Biography NovelsThe Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertA Damsel in DistressThe Coming of BillThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the Reckless or The Little WarriorThe Little NuggetLove Among the Chickens Illustrated by Armand BothMike Illustrated by T. M. R. WhitwellMike and PsmithA Man of MeansMy Man JeevesNot George Washington. An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe PothuntersA Prefect's UncleThe Prince and BettyPsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherWilliam Tell Told Again Illustrated by Philip Dadd Stories Collections Death At The ExcelsiorJeeves Takes Charge and Other Stories The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesThe Politeness of Princes and Other School Stories StoriesAhead of Schedule Archibald's BenefitAt Geisenheimer's The Autograph Hunters The Best SauceBill the BloodhoundBlack for LuckBy Advice of Counsel Concealed Art A Corner in Lines Crowned Heads Death at the ExcelsiorDeep WatersDisentangling Old Duggie Extricating Young Gussie The Goal-Keeper and the Plutocrat The Good Angel The Guardian An International Affair In AlcalaJeeves and the Chump Cyril Jeeves in the Springtime Jeeves Takes Charge The Making of Mac's The Man, the Maid, and the Miasma The Man with Two Left FeetThe Man Upstairs The Man Who Disliked CatsThe Mixer Misunderstood One Touch of Nature Out of School Pillingshot, Detective The Politeness of Princes Pots O'Money The Romance of an Ugly Policeman Rough-Hew Them How We WillRuth in Exile A Sea of Troubles Shields' And the Cricket Cup Sir Agravaine a Tale of King Arthur's Round Table Something to Worry About The Test Case Tom, Dick, and Harry Three from Dunsterville The Tuppenny Millionaire When Doctors Disagree When Papa Swore in Hindustani Wilton's Holiday ArticlesSome Aspects of Game-Captaincy An Unfinished Collection The New AdvertisingThe Secret Pleasures of Reginald My Battle with Drink In Defense of AstigmatismPhotographers and Me A Plea for Indoor Golf The Alarming Spread of Poetry My Life As a Dramatic Critic The Agonies of Writing a Musical Comedy On the Writing of Lyrics The Past Theatrical Season PoemsDamon and Pythias The Haunted Tram

    The newest Palahniuk novel concerns Madison, a thirteen year old girl who finds herself in Hell, unsure of why she will be there for all eternity, but tries to make the best of it.The author described the novel as "if The Shawshank Redemption had a baby by The Lovely Bones and it was raised by Judy Blume." And "it's kind of like The Breakfast Club set in Hell."

    M. “Mimi” Banning has been holed up in her Bel Air mansion for years, but now she’s writing her first book in decades and to ensure timely completion her publisher sends an assistant to monitor her progress. Mimi reluctantly complies—with a few stipulations: No Ivy Leaguers or English majors. Must drive, cook, tidy. Computer whiz. Good with kids. Quiet, discreet, sane.When Alice Whitley arrives at the Banning mansion, she’s put to work right away—as a full-time companion to Frank, the writer’s eccentric nine-year-old, a boy with the wit of Noël Coward, the wardrobe of a 1930s movie star, and very little in common with his fellow fourth graders.As she gets to know Frank, Alice becomes consumed with finding out who his father is, how his gorgeous “piano teacher and itinerant male role model” Xander fits into the Banning family equation—and whether Mimi will ever finish that book.Full of heart and countless only-in-Hollywood moments, Be Frank With Me is a captivating and heartwarming story of an unusual mother and son, and the intrepid young woman who finds herself irresistibly pulled into their unforgettable world.

    Her adult son Malcolm is no help, mired in a permanent state of arrested development. And then there’s the Prices' aging cat, Small Frank, who Frances believes houses the spirit of her late husband, an infamously immoral litigator and world-class cad whose gruesome tabloid death rendered Frances and Malcolm social outcasts.Putting penury and pariahdom behind them, the family decides to cut their losses and head for the exit. One ocean voyage later, the curious trio land in their beloved Paris, the City of Light serving as a backdrop not for love or romance, but self destruction and economical ruin – to riotous effect. A number of singular characters serve to round out the cast: a bashful private investigator, an aimless psychic proposing a seance, a doctor who makes house calls with his wine merchant in tow, and the inimitable Mme. Reynard, aggressive houseguest and dementedly friendly American expat.Brimming with pathos and wit, French Exit is a one-of-a-kind ‘tragedy of manners,’ a riotous send-up of high society, as well as a moving mother/son caper which only Patrick deWitt could conceive and execute

    As her world implodes, she sets off on an epic road trip to reclaim everything she believes she's sacrificed since her wild youth: Great friendship, passionate love, and her art. But as she careens across the U.S. from Detroit to New York to Memphis to Nashville, nothing turns out as she imagines. Ultimately, she finds herself resurrected on the other side of the globe, on a remote island embroiled in a crisis far bigger than her own.Irresistibly funny, whip-smart, and surprisingly moving, DONNA HAS LEFT THE BUILDING spins an unforgettable tale about what it means to be brave -- and to truly love -- in a tumultuous world.