Stupid 911 Calls (Volume 1)


S. Schell - 2011
    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

Lot Beta


Tom Merritt - 2013
    It was taken over, some say stolen, from the Pioneers. Everyone's an employee and you're born into your pay grade. What happens when a young man is thrust into a position of power by an accident of birth? What secrets are hidden by the Corporation?Can one boy create a new way to live?

No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days


Chris Baty - 2004
    . . just haven't gotten around to it. No Plot? No Problem! is the kick in the pants you've been waiting for.Let Chris Baty, founder of the rockin' literary marathon National Novel Writing Month (a.k.a. NaNoWriMo), guide you through four exciting weeks of hard-core noveling. Baty's pep talks and essential survival strategies cover the initial momentum and energy of Week One, the critical "plot flashes" of Week Two, the "Can I quit now?" impulses of Week Three, and the champagne and roar of the crowd during Week Four. Whether you're a first-time novelist who just can't seem to get pen to paper or a results-oriented writer seeking a creative on-ramp into the world of publishing, this is the adventure for you.So what are you waiting for? The No Plot? approach worked for the thousands of people who've signed up for NaNoWriMo, and it can work for you! Let No Plot? No Problem! help you get fired up and on the right track.

Myth-Ion Improbable and Something M.Y.T.H.-Inc.: Double Myth Adventure Edition


Robert Lynn Asprin - 2015
    This time they’re treasure hunting in a dimension that combines the Wild West with the vampire-curse hills of Transylvania—where gold is common as dirt and danger lurks behind every sagebrush.Something M.Y.T.H. Inc.…Revolution is in the air. The king’s court sorcerer is being eyed with suspicion. Not for dabbling in black arts… not for consorting with a demon… not for having a dragon as a pet… not even for being mobbed up. But for the greatest crime of all: raising taxes.Who is this terrible Tyrant? None other than Skeeve the Great.Oh, how the mighty have fallen…

A Fortuitous Fall: A Pride and Prejudice Variation


Laraba Kendig - 2020
    How will those affected find their happily ever afters?Sometimes one false step causes startling consequences. Mr. Collins is knocked unconscious while dancing at Netherfield and requires medical care. This, in turn, prevents the Bingleys and Mr. Darcy from leaving for London after the ball. The situation grows only more complicated when Mr. Collins wakes up - changed.With a thoroughly odd Mr. Collins at Netherfield recovering from his injuries; Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy and the Bennet family find themselves together frequently. Love is in the air between Jane and Bingley, Darcy fights his attraction for Elizabeth and Mr. Wickham lurks in the background.

Of All Things


Robert Benchley - 2000
    It is just one of those facts which never get bruited about.Since that time I have practically lived among the newtsI first became interested in the social phenomena of newt life early in the spring of1913, shortly after I had finished my researches in sexual differentiation among amoeba. Since that time I have practically lived among newts, jotting down...

The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2


Caimh McDonnell - 2021
    The series has been a critically acclaimed worldwide Amazon bestseller and it is optioned for TV.The two-part box set features the books with the ancillary novellas and short stories presented in the order the author Caimh McDonnell thinks they should be read in, with new introductions written especially for this edition. Please note - This is the second part!The Dublin Trilogy Deluxe Part 2 contains:Angels in The Moonlight (The Dublin Trilogy Book 3)For Detective Bunny McGarry, life is complicated, and it is about to get more so. He’s set the task of bringing down the most skilled and ruthless armed robbery gang in Irish history. So the last thing he needs in his life is yet another complication. Her name is Simone. She is smart, funny, talented and, well, complicated.Sisters Gonna Work It Out (Novella)Annoying a drug baron is usually a very bad idea but it is just another day at work for the sisters of the saint. An ex-communicated order of kickass nuns, they take no prisoners but they might just free a few.How To Send A Message (Short Story)Bunny McGarry is the kind of man who is inclined to take it personally when someone tries to threaten his life. Two gangland thugs find out to their cost that if you’re going up the meanest copper in Dublin, you’d better be prepared for a truly unforgettable experience.Last Orders (The Dublin Trilogy Book 4)As a wise man once said, just because you're done with the past, doesn't mean the past is done with you. When long-buried bodies are discovered in the Wicklow Mountains, Bunny's past starts closing in on him. Who can he trust when he can't even trust himself? When he’s got nowhere left to run and nobody he can turn to, will the big fella make the ultimate sacrifice to protect the ones he loves?Please note: All of the novels and short stories have been previously available to readers separately.

The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Tim Vine - 2010
    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Fu#@ing Seriously? (Real Stories from a Small-Town ER)


Kerry Hamm - 2016
     In another condensed version of the series, we learn about forgotten sports, appendage amputations, suicide attempts, drunk and high patients, and you'll find yourself STILL asking why people do some of the things they do. If the dirty version isn't your cup of tea, don't fret! Swing on through Kerry's listings until you find the CLEAN version of this edition: 'Freakin' Seriously?'

The Afternet


Peter Empringham - 2011
    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

Elevating Overman


Bruce Ferber - 2012
    The novel follows the journey of Ira Overman, veteran of multiple botched careers and a singularly botched marriage, as he makes one last attempt to rise above the guilt, weakness, and self-hatred that have been hard-wired into his soul since birth. Through an unlikely side effect from a seemingly routine surgery, Overman suddenly finds himself trying to reconcile newfound powers with the man he used to be, determined not to repeat the poor choices of his past. Overman succeeds at righting some of his former wrongs, fails miserably at others, but, most importantly, gains a small yet significant window into a life that matters.

Unreal Aliens


Karthik Laxman - 2016
    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

I'm mad about pizza !: Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner Readers (ages 2-8) ("Early Readers Picture Books")


Joshua McManus - 2016
    But surely you can't eat pizza all day long? Read this book and find out ! This book is a funny, silly rhyming picture book for children, A wonderful rhyming children's book for early readers ages 2-8 and jam packed with lots of kids humor !

Bedlam & Breakfast at a Devon seaside guesthouse


Sharley Scott
    She is certain she and Jason have a strong and loving relationship that can weather any storm. Hooked by the beauty of Torringham with its quaint harbour and stunning coastline, they purchase Flotsam Guesthouse which needs more than a lick of paint to keep it afloat. Soon, Katie finds that renovating and running a guesthouse is taking its toll, especially when dealing with challenging guests and madcap neighbours, Shona and Kim. Katie comes to learn that trouble is afoot whenever Shona begs a favour. However, when her adored daughter moves back to their old hometown, she wonders if they’ve made a huge mistake, especially when cracks begin to show in her marriage. Her seaside idyll is crumbling along with her relationship. Should she let Flotsam Guesthouse founder while she salvages her marriage? Katie needs to decide where her priorities lie. The only issue is, she doesn’t know.

The Pranksters Club: The Wimpy Kid Takeover


J.C. Foster - 2014
    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series