How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults?In Becoming Attached, Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental issues of emotional life. He explores such questions as: * What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? * What are the risks of day care for children under one year of age, and what can parents do to manage those risks? * What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.

    Whether you're online, in a classroom, an office, a town hall—or just hoping to get through a family dinner with a stubborn relative—dialogue shuts down when perspectives clash. Heated debates often lead to insults and shaming, blocking any possibility of productive discourse. Everyone seems to be on a hair trigger.In How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversation—whether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Boghossian and Lindsay teach the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds. They cover everything from learning the fundamentals for good conversations to achieving expert-level techniques to deal with hardliners and extremists. This book is the manual everyone needs to foster a climate of civility, connection, and empathy."This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, and gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book."  —Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

    However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships. No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave you feeling distanced from your partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome the anxiety-fueled reactions that keep you from achieving true closeness in your relationship. Written by two experts on anxiety disorders, Anxious in Love offers easy-to-use techniques for calming anxieties and strengthening communication in your relationship. With this book, you will learn to stay centered when faced with conflict, understand your partner’s perspective, and become more independent. By changing the way you react to triggers and stress, you will be able to focus on enjoying time with the one you love, without anxiety getting in the way.

    It details why men become emotionally unavailable and specifies the actions that can be taken by both men and women to realize improvement.The Emotionally Unavailable Man helps men get their "power," stop avoiding difficult situations, calm their partner's anger, learn how to say "No," set and maintain appropriate boundaries, be more effective at work, increase and enhance the sex in their relationship, and feel personal freedom and happiness.It helps women determine if their partner is capable of being emotionally available, decide what they can -- and cannot -- do to help, discover how to lose their anger, exercise mutuality and safety, learn how to recognize and confront their own resistances, restore hope about long-term change, and gain clarity about their future.

    From the author that brought you the New York Times bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People comes a guide to building your work on the principles of effectiveness so that your life can spent cultivating genuine relationships, investing in pursuits you enjoy, and achieving balance in both your personal and professional lives.In First Things First, Stephen M. R. Covey advocates categorizing tasks by urgency and importance so that you can focus on what actually needs to be done in the limited amount of time that you have. Using personal examples and insight from years of business experience, he argues for a new way of looking at your “to-do” list. Rather than offering you another clock, First Things First provides you with a compass, because where you're headed is more important than how fast you're going.

    This book unlocks each season's God-given purpose and shows you how to thrive within it.In a society where everyone is supposedly more connected, why do people feel so lonely? Even as marriage rates decline, recent studies find the overwhelming majority of single adults still hope to get married. But how can we navigate life and love in this disconnected culture? Has social media eroded the institutions that brought us together--and the deeper emotional intimacy they provided?Pastor and bestselling author Ben Stuart will help you navigate through the four stages of a relational life and show you how to look at the truths and intentions God has established for each.As you embark on this journey, you will discover how to:Use singleness to make an impact for the kingdom of GodPursue dating with clarity and purityUse the season of engagement wisely to prepare for marriageMaximize your life as a married couple for shared ministryContinually seek God and His will throughout each stageDiscover how to embrace God's design, invest your life in what matters most, and find meaning in whatever season of life you're in.

    Now, in If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules, she presents ten simple rules to help us find true love and create long-lasting, authentic relationships.After twenty-five years of conducting workshops and seminars, Chérie has discovered that the most important--and often the most difficult--part of the human experience is partnership. Everyone is either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that they already have. Chérie's ten rules are universal truths that we inherently know but often lose sight of in the confusing game of romance--rules as simple as "You Must Love Yourself First," "Communication Is Essential," and "You Must Nurture the Relationship for It to Thrive." Once understood and embraced, her rules help us learn more about our true selves and our needs--and make us better able to meet the needs of others.As the ten rules show, building and sustaining authentic love is a delicate process that requires negotiation and communication, and while love is often challenged by change, it provides a variety of opportunities for us to grow as individuals. In her inimitably warm and inviting style, Chérie shares her own insights into love's  journey, from building intimacy and taking the risk of commitment to rekindling the faded flame by bringing back the "sizzle factor." Her inspirational stories, coupled with practical exercises--such as creating a criteria list for a potential mate or making an outline for a formal relationship "check-in"--will bring out the authentic lover in each of us. Fresh and inspiring, If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules is a perfect guide to living a real-life "happily ever after".From the Hardcover edition.

    Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection. The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love. I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron KatieFrom the Hardcover edition.

    Bestselling author and foremost relationship expert Barbara De Angelis teams up as a co-author of Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul, a collection of heartwarming stories about how real people discovered true love with the person of their dreams. With chapters on finding each other, intimacy, commitment, understanding, and overcoming obstacles, readers will find inspiration whether they're beginning a new relationship, hoping to work through a difficult one, or trying to recognize extraordinary moments in their lives. A sweet spoonful of this enchanting Chicken Soup collection will warm the hearts of the romantic readers everywhere.

    First Comes Love is that book.With insight, wisdom, and wit, Drs. Brinley and Ogletree write about:Preparing for marriage nowMaintaining an eternal perspectiveBecoming the “right” person before you find the “right” personPlanning to marry in the templeIntimacy in marriagePractical money management practicesPreparing for marital differencesAnd much moreAs President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “The most important step you have made or will make in your life is marriage. Its consequences are many, so important and so everlasting. No other decision will have such tremendous consequences for the future.” For couples who are seriously dating or are already engaged, First Comes Love will provide needed perspective and will help prepare anyone for the tremendous blessings and inevitable challenges of marriage.

    In this soul-searching book, relationship expert Kate Rose guides readers down the path to a deeper understanding of who they are, what they want, and finally, to the discovery of their Twin Flame.According to Rose, love is a journey of self-discovery and every relationship we have in our lives teaches us something that we need to learn about ourselves and what will make us truly happy. She introduces readers to the three types of love we will all experience:- The Soulmate introduces us to the dream of love, but somehow what seemed like it would be happily ever after wasn't meant to last forever.- We are so consumed with making The Karmic Love work that we often fail to question whether it should work. As painful as it is to accept, this love that felt so right in the beginning is actually all wrong.- The Twin Flame comes into our lives and often we don't even know it's love because . . . it's too easy. This is the love who helps us to accept ourselves just as we are because this is precisely what they do.In You Only Fall in Love Three Times, Kate Rose shows us that happy endings may not happen quite the way they do in fairytales-- but they happen nonetheless.

    (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was dealing with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who’d like help deciding if they should stick with it. The reason why there is so much interest is the large number of people in relationships with Avoidants who struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. And it’s also true that the Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well—retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope—though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: • Seem not to care how you feel? • Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? • Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? • Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? • Act coldly toward your children and the needy? • Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? • Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Insecure partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

    

    More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut’s brilliant Life magazine review from 1965.We play games all the time–sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini” (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like “If It Weren’t For You” and “Uproar,” to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game” and “Let’s You and Him Fight,” Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.

    My heart beats too fast. My hands tremble and sweat. I feel like there's a weight on my chest. My stomach churns. I have terrible headaches. I can't sleep. Sometimes I can't even leave my house...These common symptoms of anxiety are "minor" only to the people who don't suffer from them. But to the millions they affect, these problems make the difference between a happy, healthy life and one of crippling fear and frustration.In Hope and Help for Your Nerves, Dr. Claire Weekes offers the results of years of experience treating real patients--including some who thought they'd never recover. With her simple, step-by-step guidance, you will learn how to understand and analyze your own symptoms of anxiety and find the power to conquer your fears for good.