The Department of Sensitive Crimes


Alexander McCall Smith - 2019
    There is nothing noir about the world of Ulf Varg, Detective Inspector in the Sensitive Crimes Department of the Criminal Investigation Authority for the city of Malmö, Sweden. Ulf is concerned with odd, but not too threatening crimes, such as a stab wound to the back of the knee caused by an unknown hand, young women who allow their desperation for a boyfriend to get the better of them, and peculiar goings-on in a spa on Sweden's south coast.Of course, Ulf is a Swedish detective, and Swedish detectives, by convention, lead lives beset with problems of one sort or another. For a start, there is his name: Ulf means “wolf” in modern Swedish, and Varg derives from the Old Norse word for “wolf”. But his character is far from vulpine: Ulf is a sympathetic, well-educated, and likeable man, with a knowledge of and interest in Scandinavian- and modern art. He has a dog named Marten, the only dog in Sweden capable of lip-reading (but only in Swedish). Martin becomes depressed and needs treatment. Dogs in Sweden are apparently particularly prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). But this is summer—so there must be something else going on.Ulf has a number of colleagues into whose lives we gain insight. There is Anna, married to an anaesthetist, but very fond of Ulf; Erik, whose sole interest is fishing; Carl, whose father is a famous Lutheran theologian who has written a book on Danish philosopher Kierkegaard; then there is Blomquist from the uniformed branch, who goes on and on about his health problems but seems to have extraordinary luck in investigations. There is also Ulf's psychotherapist, Dr. Svensson, whose observations on Ulf's life—and many other topics—enlightens...or possibly confuses.The Department of Sensitive Crimes is the first full-length novel in the Detective Varg series.

The Quilt


Rochelle Carlton - 2014
    She is engaged to a handsome artist, lives above an windswept beach, and has a rapidly growing list of clients. But in a heartbeat everything changes, and she is left staring at an empty future. It starts with her naked fiancé disappearing in the rear-view mirror, and ends with news so devastating she collapses, sobbing, on the filthy floor of an airport toilet. It is the day that changes Joanne forever. Paul Clarke looks like a man that has stepped out of the pages of a women's magazine. He is living on Twin Pines Station, a farm shrouded in mystery following the disappearance of his grandmother. The small town community expect Paul to marry his spoilt, pregnant girlfriend, and settle in the area like the previous generations of the Clarke family. But not everything is as it appears, and life for Paul is about to be turned upside down. A tragic twist of fate brings Joanne and Paul together. But neither is looking for romance, and both are struggling with loss and the deceptions of the past. What unfolds is an unforgettable story of friendship, family and changes born through love. "This should become a TV series or a movie. It is that good in my opinion." - Mr Butler "Moving, rousing and beautifully written." - Jackie Parry "Being away from New Zealand it was such an indulgence to be given such wonderful imagery." - Meilyrox “All these threads come together in bold colors and powerful strands in Rochelle Carlton's compelling novel "The Quilt: Unraveled" to render vividly life's harsh realities in a story that is both personal and intimate.. This multi-generation family saga is immense in scope (and intense).” – Mark Fine Mature content warning. This book contains language that may offend some readers.

The Reluctant Farmer of Whimsey Hill


Bradford M. Smith - 2016
    That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.

Kick the Bucket


Alex A. King - 2020
    In the space of a single horrendous day, Merry’s boss kicks her out to pasture, her husband ditches her for a barely legal floozy, and she decides to end it all. (But she doesn’t have cancer, no matter what her doctor says, so at least she’s got that going for her.)Determined to hurl herself into an early grave, Merry flies home to Greece for one last hurrah. But Greece has other plans for Merry, and before long she enthusiastically decides to give living one more shot.Too bad she no longer has any say in the matter.

BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS


Dolores Wilson - 2014
    To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

I Choose You


Charles A. Bush - 2014
    She was valedictorian of her Yale undergrad class, is ranked top of her Yale Medical School class, and unlike her promiscuous roommate, she would rather spend her free nights reading Jane Austen than out partying. Undeniably, the lifelong promise that she made to her dying mother to become a doctor, is firmly in her grasp and she is focused not to let anything or anyone deter her from fulfilling it. That is, until the last day of her second year of medical school, when her friends surprise her with a summer vacation to England. While in England, she breaks one of her many sacred rules and falls for, Jude, a professional footballer with an appetite for wild parties and beautiful women. Over the course of their improbable summer romance, Jude introduces Emily to a new world of excitement and spontaneity, leaving her to question the secluded life she had always known, while Emily shows Jude the depths of the human heart and all the joy it can bring. However, once the summer ends, their love is tested by distance, social class, and the sacrifices needed to make enduring love blossom. And when fate intervenes by sending their lives spiraling on separate paths, will a memorable summer romance years ago be enough to bring them back together? I Choose You is a charming love story that has been compared to the unforgettable romances of A Walk to Remember, and Dear John (Nicholas Sparks). Bush explores the many intricacies of young love and the choices we must make to live life to the fullest.

Antioch (The Sword of Agrippa #1)


Gregory Ness - 2014
    Join a controversial scientist in exile on a journey through a near future ruled by cyber mobs and a violent ancient past he confronts when he closes in on dark energy discovery. 400 pp. debut multi-genre dystopian sci-fi mixed with historical fiction and elements of alchemy and mysticism that trace back to ancient Egypt.Book Viral, Feb 27, 2017"Antioch is, in every sense of the word, a masterpiece and epic beginning to what will undoubtedly be an epic series and one you must certainly add to your reading shelf. It is recommended without reservation."First Goodreads review of 2nd edition:"Antioch, by Gregory Ness is a masterful piece of writing. I had the opportunity to read an earlier version of this book published in 2014. I considered it a good book at that reading, but now, having just read the 2016 edition, I rate this book as excellent! Without spoiling this beautifully done story, it takes us back and forth between the present, which is some years ahead of contemporary times, and thousands of years into the past, and then rolls us back and forth in an ever-consuming tale between now and then. The detail and imagery laced into the text about ancient Rome and Egypt, as well as Persia and Turkey, and their cultures and people, animates them, as if the reader is walking the stony streets of Alexandria. There is a beautiful love story which transcends time, depiction of brutal wars and great power struggles between Rome, Egypt and others – and the perspective of how Julius Caesar was, as a man, and a leader, makes the history books seem shallow in design. But what really makes this story shine is the way the author draws us into the world of our memories, of past lives we have lived, and the scientific dialogues and intrigue which are unfolding in the now, and how, all of this ties into the grand story which we are reliving thousands of years before when Pharaohs were the most powerful rulers on Earth, when Caesar and his armies marched into Egypt and when the infamous Cleopatra had the two most powerful nations of that time, in the palm of her hands. Antioch makes you think about the nature of who we really are, about the veracity of having lived countless past lives, about the scientific import of a tiny organ in our brain – a portal which not only allows us to interact with the world around us, but quite possibly, is also the very link to our immensely distant past. An entertaining, gripping, beautifully written and highly insightful piece of work."

The Violin Man’s Legacy


Seumas Gallacher - 2008
    He is sent to investigate a murderous diamond heist in the Netherlands, but swiftly learns that there is a very strong Far East connection. He then travels to Hong Kong where he meets the glamorous chief of ISP’s local bureau, May-Ling. Together they begin to unravel a complex web of corruption. The twin spiders at the centre of this web are the Chan brothers, leaders of one of Hong Kong’s most ruthless and powerful triad gangs. The trail of death and mayhem coils across Europe, Hong Kong and South America until all the scores are settled. A Jack Calder Novel.

Up the Amazon Without a Paddle


Doug Lansky - 1999
    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

Clovenhoof's Diary: December


Heide Goody - 2019
     Jeremy Clovenhoof has spent six years living the quiet life after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he’s partying hard because it’s the school holidays. Whether it’s his increasingly complex girlfriend situation, his creative attempts at Christmas on a budget or an over-decorated tree that will take things very personally, Clovenhoof will make this a Christmas for everybody to remember. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

You are Awful (But I Like You): Travels Around Unloved Britain


Tim Moore - 2011
    Following an itinerary drawn up from surveys, polls, reviews and lazy personal prejudice, Tim Moore goes to all the places that nobody wants to go to - the bleakest towns, the shonkiest hotels, the scariest pubs, the silliest sea zoos. He visits the grid reference adjudged by the Ordnance Survey to be the least interesting point in Britain, and is chased out of the new town twice crowned Scotland's Most Dismal Place. His palate is flayed alive by horrific regional foodstuffs, his ears shrivelled by the 358 least loved tracks in the history of native popular music. With his progress entrusted to our motor industry's fittingly hopeless finale, he comes to learn that Britain seems very much larger when you're driving around it in a Bulgarian-built Austin Maestro.Yet as the soggy, decrepit quest unfolds, so it evolves into something much more stirring: a nostalgic celebration of our magnificent mercantile pomp, and an angry requiem for a golden age of cheerily homespun crap culture being swept aside by the faceless, soul-stripping forces of Tesco-town globalisation.

The Ducks In The Bathroom Are Not Mine: A decade of procrastination 2007 - 2017


David Thorne - 2017
     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

Fuzzy Memories


Jack Handey - 1996
    The author shares memories of his improbable past, from a parent-centered Thanksgiving, to playing hooky (and taking notes), to maintaining a termite farm.

The Hunted Assassin


Paul B. Kohler - 2016
    His pretense is a disguise. His very existence on Taloo Station is no accident. Martin Wheeler—AKA Jaxon Rasner, is hiding from his past. After nearly a decade of living in obscurity, a team of killers is sent to end his life. Making matters worse, his estranged daughter is brutally abducted. Marked for death, he must return to the life he left behind as he races for survival throughout the Outer Ring, where he has no choice but to embrace the killer within.

Free Roll


Brandt Tobler - 2017
    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.