A paw on a wife's shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom.Clash of the Grannies—A high stakes "who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids" tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories include: the Title Championship (who gets to be called "Grandma"), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving.The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn't trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage.Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way.With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don't fall prey to common relationship pitfalls: Babyproof Your Marriage!

    It enables you to have complete control over style, design, and color of your garments. And once you learn the basic practice, you can knit almost anything you can think of. What stands in most people’s way is getting started. How do you learn to knit socks? Where do you find knitting patterns? This book answers all of those questions and more. What will this book teach you? • Getting started knitting socks • How to find the right knitting tools and correct needles for knitting your socks • How to pick the best knitting yarn • 10 Most popular sock knitting patterns • How to size your socks • How to knit socks from the Top-down • How to knit sock from the Toe-up • Sock Cast-on techniques, such as, Long Tail cast on, Eastern/ Turkish cast on • The Double Point and Circular Needle methods • Tips on how to knit long lasting, beautiful socks • And so much more!.. Even if you have never picked up a pair of knitting needles before, you can easily start knitting your way towards a pair of perfect socks with this book. It even includes a Glossary of Knitting Terms as an added BONUS, so as you expand your projects to other designs and find other patterns, you will never be in the dark. This book also includes 1 basic top-down sock pattern and 7 additional popular sock patterns for you to work on. While this book is intended to get you started in the world of knitting, it can easily serve as a refresher for even the most experienced knitter! Whether you want to get started or want to get back to basics and hone your skills, "Knitting Socks for Beginners" is the book for you. From Tube socks to Fair Isle socks, you have all the information and knitting patterns you need. Socks are not necessarily the easiest thing to knit, but the techniques used to make a pair of socks introduces you to everything else you need to know about knitting. This book will guide you through every stage of the knitting process and help you create a pair of perfectly knitted socks, in just three days! There is no better book for learning the basics of knitting. This acts as the perfect springboard for more complex knitting projects, with all of the techniques, tips, and terms spelled out to keep you on the right track. If you are looking for a great book about sock knitting, look no further. Get your copy of "Knitting Socks for Beginners" today! Check Out What Others Are Saying... "This is a brilliant book for beginners. I've never tried knitting before but now can't wait to get started. The author goes through every step of the knitting process in fine detail. The book is very well written and has excellent photographs and diagrams. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to try sock knitting for the first time." - Lesley H "I've been thinking of knitting for quite a awhile now. I'm glad I stumbled on this book. I'm a total newbie so this book is perfect for me. "Knitting socks for beginners" gives step by step instructions to get started at knitting socks. Has tons of info- tools, needle size,yarn types. Great help for the beginner.

    The secret to helping babies to sleep through the night is understanding their sleep cycles and the feeding/sleeping balance. This book provides simple and effective techniques to help parents establish positive sleep habits and tackle sleep problems without feeling under pressure to resort to rigid, inflexible strategies. Lucy Wolfe, the Sleep Fixer and Ireland's best-known sleep consultant, has developed a 'stay and support' approach with an emphasis on a child's emotional well-being, which has helped thousands of parents and babies around the world to achieve better sleep, with most parents reporting improvements within the first seven days of implementing the recommendations. Discover the issues that prevent a child from sleeping through the night. Learn about biological sleep rhythms and how feeding can affect them. Create a customised, step-by-step plan to get your baby to sleep. Use Lucy's unique two-fold sleep strategy which combines biological time keeping and gentle support to develop positive sleeping habits.

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    With entries including D is for Desperation, F is for Fish Fingers, S is for Supermum and V is for Vagina, it's safe to say this is not your average A-Z.This book won't tell you what sort of parent you should (or shouldn't) be; instead, it offers a refreshingly honest account of what being a mum to three young children is really like and the surprising lessons that have been learned along the way.If you feel as though you're not 'measuring up' or are struggling to #cherisheverymoment, Sarah's tales from the thick of it will reassure and resonate with you. Above all, her commitment to telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth will make you laugh out loud and remind you that you are, in fact, doing a great job.

    Clearly newborns don’t need to be “trained” how to sleep – they know how, and they’ve had plenty of practice. So why do most parents have trouble getting their newborns to sleep?Elizabeth Pantley, a world-renowned expert on children’s sleep, created this guide to explain the ways we unintentionally prevent an infant’s natural sleep to occur, and to teach us the simple but powerful ways to maximize our newborn’s naps and nighttime sleep. Once you’ve learned the 15 Keys to Amazing Newborn Sleep you’ll easily make adjustments to how you treat your baby’s sleep. You don’t have to keep logs nor follow schedules or rules. Just by being aware of this information you will do things to improve sleep that you wouldn’t have known to do otherwise.With The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns, you will learn:• the things that trick us into disrupting a baby’s sleep• how to identify the perfect moment for a nap• ways to create a sleep-inducing environment • tips to reduce the number of night wakings• how to set the stage for great sleep throughout babyhoodThe No-Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns was field-tested by 122 test families with newborns. Their input refined the ideas to make them easy to understand and follow – by even the most sleep-deprived parent. When you apply these Keys you can help your baby sleep well and peacefully. And guess what? When your baby sleeps – you will, too!

     Do you want peace of mind and contentment? Is your happiness important to you? Do you have a vision for your life, but feel uncertain how to make your vision a reality? Choose to Change: It´s your life, will show you, in easy to follow steps, how to unlock the life you want. After training in behavioural therapy and working with a number of spiritual gurus, author Jacqui Penn learned how to find the strength and determination to overcome life´s challenges. Now she´s going to share her expertise and inspiration with you. Among the many empowering strategies, you will learn how to: • Be happy and proud of who you are • Make choices that will enrich your life • Let go of what holds you back • Be positive and wipe out negativity • Gain confidence to walk tall into the life you desire Containing inspirational quotes, thought provoking questions, and a free downloadable journal to keep you on track and motivated, Jacqui Penn is offering a powerful tool towards positive change. If you want concise, easy to follow advice, Choose to Change: It´s your life, will help you realise your dreams and hopes and make a difference today. People say: ´Lovely easy to follow steps and the journal is a fantastic bonus´ ´Just like sitting down for a chat over coffee. Loved the ideas.´ ´Read it through and now going to go back and put it into practice.´ ´Just what I needed to get me going.´ ´Didn´t think I needed to change anything when I got a free copy of this book, but I´m certainly going to change a few things now.´

    She is our new Erma Bombeck!" —Elizabeth Boyle, New York Times best-selling author~As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:•The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.•The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks.•The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie."•The horror of glitter.And much more!A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college, eh, therapy fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

    6:6).Today we see a culture that is increasingly hostile to Christians, and Christians are increasingly aware that they need to form strong communities to do for them what the culture no longer can. This is a good thing, but it will only work if like Nehemiah and his men we are committed to resisting the dictates of our culture. If we are at all afraid of looking like the crazy fundamentalists that our culture loves to hate, then our communities will be as easily led by the culture as anybody else.In this short book, Pastor Douglas Wilson describes some of the most important ways to create and maintain counter-cultural Christian communities. Whether he is talking about the need for kids to get calluses or for love and loyalty within churches, Douglas Wilson brings decades of on-the-ground wisdom and experience to the topic.A city without walls is not really a city; neither is a city without a church at the center. Get busy. Build the walls, fight sin, love your family and church, and live out the Gospel.

    Her 6-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here's the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20-30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie's got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you've ever said to yourself:** How do I know if my kid is ready? ** Why won't my child poop in the potty? ** How do I avoid "potty power struggles"? ** How can I get their daycare provider on board? ** My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? ** And what about nighttime?!Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn't theory, you're not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the ANSWERS you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

    He has also unfortunately witnessed too many families forced to surrender their beloved family companions because they failed to prepare the dog for the arrival of a new family member. In Good Dog, Happy Baby, Wombacher lays out a twelve-step process that will give families the skills they need to navigate this new era of their lives. These skills include how to evaluate dogs, resolve common behavior problems, and fully prepare dogs for a new baby. This easy-to-use guide, filled with photos and simple instructions, makes a great gift for any expecting family with a dog, whether the dog is perfectly trained or in serious need of behavioral help.

    Join Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting as they journey through the top 100 episodes of the series, covering everything from episode rankings to season overviews, character spotlights, and listicles. You’ll rediscover what you’ve forgotten and perhaps learn what you never knew. A Very Special 90210 Book is the perfect keepsake for every former teen fan (we know you’re out there) who wants to relive the good ol’ days at West Beverly.

    You can’t help but fall for Chika. A page-turner that will no doubt become a classic.” --Mary Karr, author of The Liars’ Club and The Art of Memoir From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Tuesdays With Morrie comes Mitch Albom’s most personal story to date: an intimate and heartwarming memoir about what it means to be a family and the young Haitian orphan whose short life would forever change his heart.  Chika Jeune was born three days before the devastating earthquake that decimated Haiti in 2010. She spent her infancy in a landscape of extreme poverty, and when her mother died giving birth to a baby brother, Chika was brought to The Have Faith Haiti Orphanage that Albom operates in Port Au Prince. With no children of their own, the forty-plus children who live, play, and go to school at the orphanage have become family to Mitch and his wife, Janine. Chika’s arrival makes a quick impression. Brave and self-assured, even as a three-year-old, she delights the other kids and teachers. But at age five, Chika is suddenly diagnosed with something a doctor there says, “No one in Haiti can help you with.” Mitch and Janine bring Chika to Detroit, hopeful that American medical care can soon return her to her homeland. Instead, Chika becomes a permanent part of their household, and their lives, as they embark on a two-year, around-the-world journey to find a cure. As Chika’s boundless optimism and humor teach Mitch the joys of caring for a child, he learns that a relationship built on love, no matter what blows it takes, can never be lost. Told in hindsight, and through illuminating conversations with Chika herself, this is Albom at his most poignant and vulnerable. Finding Chika is a celebration of a girl, her adoptive guardians, and the incredible bond they formed—a devastatingly beautiful portrait of what it means to be a family, regardless of how it is made.