Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!

    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    It's about being a strong, silent type, oozing with confidence, charisma, and other fine qualities such as not being trapped in your own office. It's about having a working phone. A real desk. Not one, but two steak dinners. And some hysterical broad on the line, yackin' about some fella she's got troubles with. It's always the same thing with dames. You comfort yourself in your sublime fantasy by now and then saying things into the phone such as, "Now calm down a second, toots..." and "Hey, take it easy, sweetheart. I can barely understand a word you're sayin'..." Being a hard boiled problem sleuth is what this book is all about.

    Experience the zany world of Super Mario through manga!Features stories based on the hit Super Mario games! From crazy to classic, Mario and his friends star in adventures that find them traveling through the many worlds of one of the biggest video game series ever!

    In On the Prowl the best of Rupert Fawcett's brilliantly observed, touchingly true cartoons come together in book form for the first time.Featuring the secret thoughts and conversations of cats of every size, shape and breed, this gorgeous book is a celebration of our favourite feline friends.

    From the far reaches of weird space to the incomprehensible world of underground art, ZIM is back! And his thirst for world domination has only grown! ZIM and his filthy evil ways have been gone for what feels like years. But Dib KNOWS the alien menace will rear his head again, and he won't leave the house, or his 900 security monitors, until it happens. And it WILL happen. Oh, it WILL. Collects the first five issues of the comic series based on the hit TV show, INVADER ZIM!

    Why? Because each page boasted sticky, uncomfortable truths drenched in bleakly familiar humor. It was "cringe comedy" before the phrase had been coined, presaging squirmy shows like Louie and Girls. Set in a New York so real you can practically smell it (so claimed Mike Mignola), Minimum Wage is the workaday saga of cartoonist Rob Hoffman and his firebrand girlfriend, Sylvia. He churns out strips for smut rags and off-brand MAD knockoffs and she languishes managing a hair salon. With their colorful crew of friends, they forge ahead against the brutal indifference of their hometown. This definitive edition includes the original 72-page "pilot" episode (Minimum Wage Book One) and the revised "director's cut" of the main storyline. Plus, a bonus color section featuring original cover paintings and guest pin-ups by Mike Mignola, Kevin Nowlan, Dave Johnson, Jill Thompson, Dave Cooper, Glenn Barr, and others.

     Together, this dynamic duo adjusts to sharing the spotlight, the toys, and the affections of Mom and Dad, while exploring nature and its majesty, the couch and its cushions, and the cookie jar and its contents.

    Foxworthy's runaway bestseller, with more than one million copies in print.

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.

    Her drawings brilliantly capture the unique experience of motherhood and the huge range of emotions that it brings.In this warm and witty book, Maria writes candidly about what becoming a mother has meant for her. Interspersing her words with brilliant cartoons, she delivers a marvellously entertaining snapshot of life as a modern-day parent. Her sharp observations cover everything from the sleep-deprived early days of having newborn twins, to the reality of being a working mum; from just getting out of the house to slowly getting your social life back.Upbeat and humorous, this is a wonderful book for parents and parents-to-be.

    With nowhere else to turn, the boys move into an anime clubhouse where five crazed yaoi fangirls call the shots!Elle's obsessively high-strung, Nina's too laid back for her own good, Jessica's a total tease, Maria's a shy and reserved bookworm, and Morgan's just plain bonkers! Toss 'em all together and you've got a harem comedy that's truly like none other!Seven Seas is pleased to present this omnibus edition which contains Volumes 1 and 2 of Aoi House in one affordable collection!

    Here, in this special double edition, the arrogant, gourmandizing, sedentary sleuth and his trusty man-about-town, Archie Goodwin, solve two of their most bizarre cases. Some Buried CaesarA prize bull destined for the barbecue is found pawing the corpse of a late restaurateur. Wolfe is certain that Hickory Caesar Grindon, the soon-to-be-beefsteak bull, isn't the murderer. But who among a veritable stampede of suspects--including a young woman who's caught Archie's eye--turned the tables on Hickory's would-be butcher? It's a crime that wins a blue ribbon for sheer audacity--and Nero Wolfe is the one detective audacious enough to solve it. The Golden SpidersA twelve-year-old boy shows up at Wolfe's brownstone with an incredible story. Soon the great detective finds himself hired for the grand sum of $4.30 and faced with the question of why the last two people to hire him were murdered. To keep it from becoming three, Wolfe must discover the unlikely connection between a gray Cadillac, a mysterious woman, and a pair of earrings shaped like spiders dipped in gold.