One waiter, one customer. The overnight fry cook rambles up to the pie case to take his nightly hit of dessert-topping propellant. It’s not a complete surprise when he falls to the floor; the stuff gives him the spins. That’s the point. It’s a bad moment for the boss to arrive, though. It’s worse when the cook turns out to be dead - from a bullet no one heard. For the waiter, it’s the start of the the worst few months of his life, and before it’s done he’ll be neck-deep in drug deals, romances with a faithless minx and an unintelligible Russian teacher - and a plot by campus radicals to blow something big. It’s 1980, after all. No shortage of things to deplore. They’re not too concerned with disco, though; that seems to be on the way out. “Graveyard Special” is another humorous mystery by the author of “Falling Up the Stairs,” and the first in a series of interconnected mysteries that span six decades.

    

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    Carl Hiaasen's South Florida Three-Book Set #2 (Lucky You, Basket Case, Double Whammy) For a limited time get three books in Carl Hiaasen's popular South Florida series together in one easy-to-order package, including the bestseller, Lucky You.

    Some only did it in college, or got out by sheer determination, good luck . . . or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a restaurant packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he’s vented his frustrations in the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter. A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.

    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

    His mother has just died, he is an addicted poker player, and (hugely in debt), his real estate business is sinking, and he doesn't really like his longtime girlfriend. When he gets saddled with an abandoned dog, he doesn't think things can get worse. And then Reg the dog starts talking --and only Dave can hear him.At first Dave thinks he's gone crazy, but he soon realizes he's found his soul mate. Dave and Reg start off on a madcap adventure that will find them tangled up with the mob, involved in an illegal real estate deal, cleaning up at the poker table, and stumbling toward true love.The wisdom of Reg the dog:On couches being chewable because they are actually sausages"It's got a skin, it's got stuffing, what am I not getting here?"On entering a dangerous establishment"Actually, I've changed my mind. There's no atmosphere so menacing it can't be banished by a ham sandwich."On Dave's awful girlfriend"She wants so to be pack leader. She acts as if she's in control when you're there, you defer to her all the time. Would it not be better if she were allowed to go and form her own pack?"On neckties"Every time you put it on you end up going somewhere you don't want to. That's what I call a leash."

    His stable is a matchbox with a tic-tac box conservatory and with a cocktail stick, some cotton and a hawthorn berry, Tim can play swingball.

    With these characters William will make us laugh and cry. And never again will we think that someone is just a regular bloke - everyone can be a king or a queen in their own suburb.

    A perfect evening of comedy. Scenes Include:ACT ONEWord Dance (Part One)The Night the Bed FellFables for Our Time (Part One)The Wolf at the DoorThe Unicorn in the GardenThe Little Girl and the WolfIf Grant Had Been Drinking at AppomattoxCasuals of the KeysThe Macbeth Murder MysteryGentleman ShoppersThe Last FlowerACT TWOThe Pet DepartmentFile and ForgetMr. Preble Gets Rid of His WifeTake Her Up TenderlyThe Secret Life of Walter MiddyWord Dance (Part Two) Only material authorized for the production of this play may be used."Of belly laughs there is abundance...Small, cozy, and completely captivating revue...a sheer delight... joyous, magnificently lunatic festival" - New York Daily News

    All Zora wants to do is learn how to fly so she can catch that pesky squirrel in her yard. But try as she might to prove to her friend Tully--a skeptical cat--that dogs truly can fly, nothing seems to work. Until Zora finds the right motivation, that is. Kathy Stinson's charming story of perseverance is beautifully brought to life by Brandon James Scott's exuberant and wonderfully expressive illustration. Touching on themes of optimism and determination in the face of failure, The Dog Who Wanted to Fly is a book anyone--even a cat--will love.