It’s a disaster!Luckily, there’s a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who’s willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers.But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store . . .Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of time travel and tortoises, monsters and mayhem!‘So funny I dropped my spoon laughing!’ – King Arthur

    What does "spudvetch" mean? Why do Mr Kidd's eyes flicker with fluorescent blue light when Charlie says spudvetch to him? A high-powered adventure can end only with a Boom!

    At Camp Whatsitooya, twins Joules and Kevin and new friend Nelson face off against large, rabbit-like creatures from the Mallow Galaxy who thrive on sugar, but are not above hypnotizing and eating human campers.

    With the help of cutting-edge science, their nerdy qualities are enhanced and transformed into incredible abilities. They battle the Hyena, a former junior beauty pageant contestant turned assassin, and an array of James Bond–style villains, each with an evil plan more diabolical and more ridiculous than the last.

    From whom? Well the CIA, naturally. But also corporate agents #5, #29, and # 207, plus two international superspies -- one of whom happens to be a chimpanzee. They all want Dr. Cheeseman and his late wife's greatest invention-a machine with unspeakable powers-OK, I'll say it. It's a time machine. But it's not working right yet, so put all ideas of time travel out of your head.Instead, please enjoy this high stakes, high action, hijinx-filled chase. And the bizarre characters our Cheeseman friends will meet as they protect not just their parents' invention, but their mother's sacred memory. It's an adventure novel like no other.Oh yeah, and did we mention the entertaining, plot-exposition filled, unsolicited advice you'll receive along the way? So you didn't ask for it? Yeah, that's why it's unsolicited.Unsolicited Advice #1: Read this book.

    "I walked out of the corner shop, and heard a noise like this: t h u m m t h u m m. I looked up and saw a huge silver disc hovering in the air above Marshall Road.""Hullo," I said to myself. "That's not something you see every day. And then something odd happened."Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious New York Times bestselling story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and bestselling author Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Skottie Young.

    The three Green children are cared for by a nanny pig. Yes, a pig--a fabulously sassy and impeccably dressed pig, as a matter of fact! With her insatiable urge to eat chocolate (and feed chocolate to everyone she loves), her high-flying spirit, and her unending sense of fun, Nanny Piggins takes Derrick, Samantha, and Michael on a year of surprises, yummy treats, and adventures they'll never forget. It's no surprise that Booklist proclaimed, "Mary Poppins, move over--or get shoved out of the way." Nanny Piggins is a refreshing and dynamic addition to favorite classic nannies: Amelia Bedelia, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and, of course, Mary Poppins. Read more books in the series: Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan and Nanny Piggins and the Runaway Lion.

    When Ook, Gluk, and their little dinosaur pal Lily are pulled through a time portal to 2222, they discover a future world that's even more devastated than their own. Luckily, they find a friend in Master Wong, a martial arts instructor who trains them in the ways of kung fu. Now all they have to do is travel back in time 502,223 years and save the day!

    But her dad–a normal-enough seeming guy–just so happens to work for an evil genius who plans to unleash an army of extremely cranky, stilt-walking, laser-beam-eyed whales upon the world. Lucky for Lily, her two best friends are anything but average. Both of them are famous for their adventures. Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, invents gadgets; Katie Mulligan spends her spare time fighting off zombies and were-goats. Surely they'll know what to do. And if they don't? then it will be up to Lily–average, everyday Lily–to come up with a plan.With this crazy comic ride of a novel, M. T. Anderson launches a riotous and wonderfully weird new series for listeners who like their thrilling tales with tongue firmly in cheek.

    When her mom started telling everyone about the messages aliens were sending through a mole on the back of her neck? Maybe on Christmas Eve, when huge, bizarre spaceships descended on the Earth and the aliens – called Boov – abducted her mother? Or when the Boov declared Earth a colony, renamed it “Smekland” (in honor of glorious Captain Smek), and forced all Americans to relocate to Florida via rocketpod?In any case, Gratuity’s story is much, much bigger than the assignment. It involves her unlikely friendship with a renegade Boov mechanic named J.Lo.; a futile journey south to find Gratuity’s mother at the Happy Mouse Kingdom; a cross-country road trip in a hovercar called Slushious; and an outrageous plan to save the Earth from yet another alien invasion.Fully illustrated with “photos,” drawings, newspaper clippings, and comics sequences, this is a hilarious, perceptive, genre-bending novel by a remarkable new talent.

    Now Prez has come to live with them. But, though he seems cheerful and helpful, he never says a word.Then one day Prez answers the door to someone claiming to be his relative. This small, loud stranger carries a backpack, walks with a swagger and goes by the name of Sputnik.As Prez dithers on the doorstep, Sputnik strolls right past him and introduces himself to everyone in the household. Prez is amazed at the response. The family pat Sputnik on the head, call him a good boy and drop food into his mouth. It seems they all think Sputnik is a dog. It's only Prez who thinks otherwise.But Prez soon finds himself having to defend the family from the chaos and danger unleashed by Sputnik, as household items come to life - like a TV remote that fast-forwards people: 'Anyone can do it, it's just that people don't read the instructions properly'; and a toy lightsaber that entertains guests at a children's party, until one of them is nearly decapitated by it - and Prez is going to have to use his voice to explain himself.It turns out that Sputnik is writing a guidebook to Earth called Ten Things Worth Doing on Earth, and he takes Prez on a journey to discover just those ten things. Each adventure seems to take Prez nearer to the heart of the family he is being fostered by. But they also take him closer to the day that he is due to leave them forever . . .

    Bowser is a very handsome and only slightly slobbery dog, and he can smell lots of things. Like bacon. And rawhide chews! And the sweat on humans when they're lying.Birdie Gaux, the girl Bowser lives with, also knows something is wrong. It's not just that her grammy's stuffed prize marlin has been stolen. It's the weird rumor that the marlin is linked to a missing treasure. It's the truck that seems to be following Birdie and the bad feeling on the back of her neck. When Birdie and Bowser start digging into the mystery, not even Bowser's powerful sniffer can smell just how menacing the threat is. And when the danger comes straight for Birdie, Bowser knows it is up to him to sic 'em.

    His plan is to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School, located in a Maryland suburb just outside Washington. The rich kids at Hubble cheat by buying their projects every year, and Grdankl's cronies should have no problem selling them his government-corrupting software. But this year, Toby Harbinger, a regular kid with Discount Warehouse shoes, is determined to win the $5,000 prize-even if he has to go up against terrorists to do it. With the help of his best friends, Tamara and Micah, Toby takes on Assistant Principal Paul Parmit, aka "The Armpit," a laser-eyed stuffed owl, and two eBay buyers named Darth and the Wookiee who seem to think that the Harrison-Ford-signed BlasTech DL-44 blaster Toby sold them is a counterfeit. What transpires is a hilarious adventure filled with mystery, suspense, and levitating frogs.

    No puzzle is ever too tricky for the two of them to solve . . .Ottoline lives in a stylish apartment in Big City with a small hairy creature called Mr Munroe. Together they look after the Brown family's eclectic collections - and dabble in a spot of detective work. So they are the first to the scene of the crime when a string of high society dog-nappings and jewel thefts hits Big City. Ottoline (who luckily has a diploma from the Who-R-U Academy of Disguise) and Mr Munroe go undercover - and expose an ingenious scam masterminded by furry feline crook, the Yellow Cat.

    Thepuppy had never been so scared or so excited in his life. Soonhe was racing, feinting, dodging - learning what it means to beone of the proud breed of Border collies, the finest sheepherdersin the world. Then, almost overnight, his life is turned upsidedown. He finds himself in a series of strange places, with nosheep, his family gone. With nothing but the courage he wasborn with and a dream, he searches for the life he once knew,gathering names and adventures as he goes. For a short time,he's called Blackie. To the Goat Man, he's Shep. To Hollerin,he's Spot. There's one name that threatens to forever haunthim - Sparky, the name Billy the circus man calls him when hereaches for the whip. But there's another name that he is given,one that finally makes him feel at home . . .Known for her rich character development, the author bringsall her skills to delving into the mind of a clever, philosophical,and hopeful dog searching for a home.