In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Linnea Smith went to Peru on an ecotourism vacation. She was so moved that she abandoned her thriving medical practice in Wisconsin to serve the Yagua Indians in the deepest part of the Amazon rainforest of Peru-alone.Taken straight from the pages of Dr. Smith’s journal, La Doctora offers readers a rare glimpse into the suspense and drama of practicing medicine in a culture far removed from the sophisticated supplies and supports of 20th-century medicine.Learn how Dr. Smith evolved from a “strange white woman” to an adopted member of the indigenous community. Her story of adventure, self-discovery and service creates inspiring testimony to one person’s power to make a lasting difference.

    Includes interviews with fifty-nine waitresses in forty-three towns and cities.

    Is it for children, or for adults? Is it fantasy or a psychological novel? In its great range, it encompasses poetry and farce, comedy and tragedy -and sudden flights of schoolboy humour. White's `footnote to Malory' (his own phrase) resulted in the last major retelling of the story based on Malory's Morte Darthur, and Elisabeth Brewer explores the literary context of White's finest work as wellas considering his aims and achievement in writing it.White's story of Arthur begins with his `enfances', set in an imaginary medieval England, but it is far removed from the conventional historical novel. White was writing in wartime England, a country increasingly absorbed by a need to find an antidote to war. Through the medium of the Arthurian story he found his own voice, his unique contribution to keeping alive the flame of civilisation. Malory's chivalric virtues are rejected in favour of White's own twentieth-century values; the love affair of Lancelot and Guenever is interpreted in terms of modern psychology.The books which eventually made up The Once and Future Kingof 1958 appeared in distinctly different editions. In discussing these, Elisabeth Brewer looks at some of the ways in which White drew on his own personal experience at a deep psychological level, while also incorporating into his story material inspired by his antiquarian pursuits and by his years as a schoolmaster. She completes her study with an account of White's use of historical material, and the relationship of The Once and Future King to the Morte Darthur.ELISABETH BREWER lectured in English at Homerton College, Cambridge. She is the author of books and articles on Chaucer and the Arthurian legends

    

    Did his dictatorship crush the French Revolution, or carry its ideals to their logical conclusion? Was he a conqueror-tyrant who sought war for the sake of glory, or was he forced into conflict to defend his beloved France? Was he a throwback to sixteenth-century “absolute monarchs,” or the great modernizer of nineteenth-century Europe? Or was he all of these things at once? In this compact, highly readable biography, Jack Hughes examines these questions and more. He traces Napoleon’s history back to the bloody hillsides of Corsica, from his rise as a young artillery officer to the summit of greatness. We see at how Napoleon’s rule forever changed a continent, but also how his overreach led to his shocking fall from power. To understand the story of Napoleon, Hughes persuasively shows, is to understand Europe itself—both in Napoleon’s era and today. "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." - Napoleon Bonaparte Buy Now to Discover: Napoleon’s tactics at Austerlitz, Waterloo, and other crucial battles. How the French conquest of Corsica shaped Napoleon’s childhood. Napoleon’s troubled marriage to the faithless Josephine. The French invasion of Egypt and discovery of the Rosetta Stone. The sale of Louisiana to the United States. Napoleon’s 1814 suicide attempt. The daring escape from Elba that allowed Napoleon to make his final stand. Read Your Book Now Your book will be instantly and automatically delivered to your Kindle device, smartphone, tablet, and computer. Money Back Guarantee If you start reading our book and are not completely satisfied with your purchase, simply return it to Amazon within 7 days for a full refund. Go to Your Account -> Manage Your Content and Devices -> Find the Book -> Return for Full Refund. Buy Now and Read The True Story of Napoleon Bonaparte...

    Air Crashes and Miracle landings is a great resource for every pilot who wants a clear summary of the Whats, Hows and Whys behind the key aviation accidents. This book should be part of Human Factors and Crew Resource Management training." Richard de Crespigny--captain of Qantas QF32 Now has eighty-five accounts, some short, some long, with hard-hitting analyses, ranging from the disappearance of Amelia Earhart to that of Malaysian Airlines MH370, not forgetting AF447 where many human factors in addition to technical ones were responsible. Each chapter covers a specific type of incident in chronological order showing the evolution of accidents over time, and how many should never happen again because of advances in technology. Covering so many incidents, it provides background facts and insights for professionals and aficionados of the Air Accident Investigations/MAYDAY TV series, amongst others Lessons from these incidents made flying so safe today.

    From his first days on the island he came to know and love fishing and the sea. For the next twelve years the famed author called the island his home. His years in Key West became the most crucial and prolific years of his life. During that period he wrote Death in the Afternoon, Green Hills of Africa, numerous important short stories, To Have and Have Not, and began For Whom the Bell Tolls. He also created and became his own living legend, self-consciously constructing the swaggering image known to the world as Papa.In the early 1970s journalist James McLendon seized the opportunity to interview Ernest Hemingway’s Key West friends who remained alive. A Key West resident himself, McLendon wrote this book by combining his knowledge of the island with his conversations and with the extensive Hemingway-related material held by the Monroe County Public Library. McLendon recreates the slow-paced, sub-tropical setting, the island’s Depression years, and the people and places that infused and inspired Hemingway. These were the years that saw his love affair with Martha Gellhorn and the crumbling of his marriage to Pauline Pfeiffer. Beyond letters and legal documents, too little of the Hemingway era in Key West is found in biographical studies. Because this book was first published in 1974, much of what exists in those studies today is derived from this manuscript. This book gives us a penetrating look at the significance of the Key West era in Hemingway’s career. James McLendon was a columnist for the Key West Citizen, a creative writing instructor and a freelance writer. His dispatches and articles appeared in various U.S. newspapers and magazines, including UPI wire services, the Christian Science Monitor and Writers Digest.

    He spoke to his pregnant wife on the telephone before he began his evacuation after the South Tower fell. Sensing something ominous, Pasquale crouched down and huddled into a corner of the stairwell as the 110-story tower came crashing down around him. He survived the tower collapse and woke up in the open air hours later on The Pile, a stack of debris seven stories high. The firemen who rescued Pasquale shared his remarkable story of survival with the media, as did others who cared for him that day. His story became a myth, an urban legend, and an enigma that gave rise to much speculation. Here he tells his story in captivating detail of falling and "surfing' the collapse of the North Tower.Visit www.911surfer.com for more details.

    Despite a near-zero knowledge of the language, he had three months to learn. No problem, or so Rich kept telling himself. Rich dives in at the deep end by moving in with an unintelligible Spanish landlady, and a German roommate, Nils, who insists on being called by his Spanish name, “Miguel”. Unsurprisingly, Miguel can only take Rich’s Spanish so far. Instead, he takes his chances on a journey across Spain. Follow Rich on a hilarious, life-changing trip through this fascinating and cultured country, as he travels through the vineyards of La Rioja, surfs in the Basque Country and frantically tries to speak Spanish at anyone he can find. In Granada, the last outpost of the Muslim Moors in Spain, Rich’s moment finally arrives. The microphone is on and the audience is ready, but is he?

    Readers will learn about Washington's phantom appearance at the Battle of Gettysburg, Dolley Madison's spirit in the White House rose garden, Andrew Jackson's encounter with the Bell Witch, Abraham Lincoln's prophetic dreams, the mischievous ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt's dog Fala, Richard Nixon's spiritual conferences with dead presidents, and the odd demon cat that materializes prior to national disasters.

    There are many corrections and many notes stuck between the pages, and the ink and pencil are faded and often difficult to read. I have had to guess at the meaning a few times and hope I haven’t done too much harm to her intent. Many changes were made in punctuation, spelling, paragraphing and chapters, and I’ve updated a few words, like Black Feet to Blackfoot. She made a few mistakes I did not correct, like mixing up the locations of the Little Blue and Big Blue rivers. The name Mary Faraday Huntington does not appear in any of the old records. Whoever wrote the words was neither shy nor humble, has a very foul mouth, and shamelessly talks about things rarely mentioned in stories of the Wild West. Her story is the way it was long ago, not the sugar coated fairly tales of book and film. Her story reminds me of something Jamake Highwater wrote: “The outward rusticity of primal behavior makes Western people devise a self-serving ideal of themselves as civilized, which sets them widely apart from other peoples and from nature. Their withdrawal from an awareness of their place in nature is nearly complete…primal peoples live among animals and vegetation constantly in close contact with the sources of nourishment and death, understanding their environment and expressing their ideas and feelings in terms of the natural world. In contrast, people in the West have created an idealization of their relationship with nature which has neither life nor spirit.” ADVENTURES IN THE WILD WEST OF LONG AGO Mary Faraday Huntington I’ve led a wild life and had a hell of a good time. I still have my nose, all my fingers and my scalp thanks to my high intelligence, strength, quickness, excellent judgment, and a little help from all my many, many friends. I promise not to lie too bad. If you are a prissy little thing, best to pass on by. If you are a refined gentleman, pass on by. 1. You’re just a girrrrrrl 2. The Under Water People 3. Fort Childs 4. Rising Wolf 5. The second best whorehouse in town 1 YOU’RE JUST A GIRRRRRL “You can't race. You’re just a girrrrrrl!” I bounced him a good one and he shrieked and jumped up and down with blood spurting out of his big, ugly nose. Oh my, how he did carry on. I got on my pony and went to the line. The flag dropped and off we went. No problem, I promised Charlie 3 cobs if we win. He got his corn and I got a shiny silver dollar and a tin can full of chewing tobacco. I traded the can for a bunch of fancy ribbons at old man Bailey’s haberdashery. ____________________ My name is Mary Faraday Huntington and I was born in 1834 at Independence, Missouri. My mother died when I was 9 months old and an Indian woman working at a whorehouse was the only one Christian enough to take me in. Don’t know who my father was but he must have been big, strong, and sharp as a whip. Probably an army man having a little fun. Sure they call me a bastard, but they learned quick enough not to do that to my face. Jennie is a Blackfoot spirit woman and a real good mother who cooks and cleans at Polly’s Paradise. We have a little room in the basement. Her real name is Aokii’aki, Water Woman. She taught me sign and Blackfoot, how to live off the land, and how to fight with my hands and feet and knife. And she is teaching me the ways of a spirit woman.

    Here the trials and triumphs of the early Muslims as individuals are well-portrayed. Their various paths to Islam - sometimes direct, sometimes long and tortuous, their devotion to the noble Prophet, their endeavours in peace time and their exploits in war - all serve to cast them in a heroic mould. This is the first of two (formerly published as a series of three) books based on original Arabic sources and written in a style that is lively and often gripping. The lives of the Sahabah or Companions of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, is a rich storehouse of knowledge, guidance and inspiration. The men and women whose stories are told here helped to lay the foundations of a new world order, and it is only fitting that they should be more widely known.

    It has inspired songs, poetry and imaginations across the globe – as well as providing a very real service for the nation’s seafarers who might fall prey to storms and gales. In 1995, a plan to move the late-night broadcast by just 12 minutes caused a national outcry and was ultimately scrapped.Published with Radio 4 and the Met Office, The Shipping Forecast is the official miscellany for seafarers and armchair travellers alike. From the places themselves – how they got their names, what’s happened there through the ages – to the poems and parodies that it’s inspired, this is a beautifully evocative tribute to one of Britain's – and Radio 4's – best-loved broadcasts.

    Beginning in the Prohibition Era, the Purple Gang prevailed in distilling alcohol and running liquor from Canada, kidnapping, and labor racketeering. This is the hitherto untold story of the rise and fall of one of American's most notorious criminal groups. In an era resembling the Wild West when post World War I America groped for identity, chaos was the rule. And in Detroit's underworld, the Purple Gangsters were the rulers.