You'll find Jim in the same place every week, failing to organise a bunch of lads into something resembling a team while on the far side of the park his opposite number, a wannabe Mourinho in brashly monogrammed tracksuit, struts the sidelines, shouting - always shouting. This is the hilarious story of Jim White's time as manager of his son's football team: the highs, the lows, and the dog turd in the centre circle. At this level, winning spirit is not so much about passion, pride and belief as praying that your star centre forward has remembered his boots. Most importantly, it's about the enduring relationship between fathers, sons and football. This is the story no one who has ever watched his or her child play sport will want to miss.

    30,000 first printing."

    The Conservatives had won their first Commons majority for twenty-three years and the Prime Minister had achieved the seemingly impossible: increasing his popularity while in government, winning more seats than in 2010 and confounding almost every pundit and opinion poll in the process. Within hours, his defeated rivals Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage had all resigned, stunned and devastated by the brutality of their losses. Political journalist Tim Ross reveals the inside story of the election that shocked Britain. Based on interviews with key figures at the top of the Conservative Party, and with private access to Cabinet ministers, party leaders and their closest aides, this gripping account of the 2015 campaign uncovers the secret tactics the Tories used to such devastating effect.

    Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in. As his beloved homeland goes Brexit bananas, bestselling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness - how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it. In this self-deprecating (and only mildly treacherous) handbook, he reveals the awkward secrets, cultural blind-spots and private oddness of the people he once shared an island with. (Revenge is a dish best served politely, after all…) Part memoir, part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned (often begrudgingly) from the author’s own time as another country’s foreigner. Featuring invaluable advice for all Brits, expats, brexpats and visitors to the UK alike, including: · The Brit Abroad Language-Speaking Plan · How to be Rude, Politely (the secret world of passive-aggression) · How to be Mean, Nicely (the unwritten rules of successful banter) · … plus an illustrated Integration Guide for British Refugees in Europe (just in case) For all fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life (especially if that socially awkward oddball is you.) Are you ready to meet The Bloody British?

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    This classic insider's account has been updated and supplemented with rare photographs from the LRDG collection in the Imperial War Museum.

    Well, Allia Zobel Nolan has, and this clever kitty tell-all is filled with their hilarious confessions paired with photographs of cats caught in acts of mischief.Written as though the cats are speaking, each admission presents a comical revelation. As the cats come clean, they admit to everything from playing tricks on the family dog to secretly hating milk. The result is a fun, great gift for cat lovers...and dog lovers who want the inside scoop on life among the litter crowd.With over 100,000 copies sold, Cat Confessions has clawed its way into the hearts of feline fans and will do the same to yours.

    Nesbitt, told as he uncovers his dramatic family history.Growing up in the Glasgow suburbs, Gregor was 14 when he asked where he was christened and was told that he was adopted. But it wasn’t quite that simple. And so began an unfolding of truths, half-truths and polite cover-ups from his various families. In 2014 Gregor approached Times columnist Melanie Reid to help him tell his story. Together they travelled through the mining villages of central Scotland to uncover the mystery of his birth and early life. What emerged was a story of secrets, deception, tragic accidents and early death, coldness and rejection from the very people who should have cherished him most, but a welcome from the most unexpected of quarters.From the squalor of industrial Coatbridge after WW1 to his own 1950s Glasgow childhood, via a love letter found in the wallet of a dead man and meeting his sister outside lost luggage at Glasgow Central, Gregor shares his family story with warmth and blunt Scottish humour.

    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

    A novel that isn't about any subject at all including fiction, nonfiction, fantasy or anything else that could be written about. This book is solely for entertainment and a conversation piece. Please do not take it seriously.

    A star of everywhere except his own home, it's hard for Jerome Stevens to balance the demands of touring with family life. The circuit is a cynical world of extremes where money talks, agents slither and audiences throw mince pies. We meet Jerome as he tries to make people laugh for a living. We follow him from the blind terror of a first open spot, to facing an audience of trained killers in the Falklands, from the trauma of live television, to being chased out of Wales by an angry mob of brewery staff. Violent bouncers, paranoid celebrities and comedy producers without a sense of humour all compete to milk the cash-cow that is comedy, each desperately trying to grab at what they think are the udders of laughter. But throughout it all, the hero's biggest critic remains his own seven-year old son. Oh, and all this is recounted while being in prison in China. This hilarious account could only be written by somebody who's been there, with many of the extraordinary characters in the book being an amalgam of the personalities and characters and oddballs found found on the comedy circuit. 'If you haven't caught up with Jones yet - do so!' Daily Mail Milton Jones is a multi-award winning comedian (including the prestigious Perrier Award) who has made numerous radio and TV appearances including The Very World of Milton Jones and Another Case of Milton Jones on BBC Radio 4. He regularly features on Radio and TV panel games.

    Full of homespun wisdom, gentle wit and charm, Paws in the Proceedings is the second book of Deric’s gentle tales of life in Huddersfield with his wife Aileen and their menagerie of playful cats with big personalities.

    Dominic Holland is this 'celebrity' dad - a professional stand-up comedian and author. He has appeared on television many times including The Royal Variety Show and Have I Got News For You. He has had his own award winning BBC Radio Four series, The Small World of Dominic Holland. A published author, journalist and writer for other famous comedians... So no slouch himself then. But his eldest son, Tom, played Billy in BILLY ELLIOT THE MUSICAL in London's West End and then was cast in the leading role of Lucas in the film, THE IMPOSSIBLE, now on general release in cinemas worldwide. As well as stand-up comedy, fortunately for this story, Dominic Holland has also taken a crack at Hollywood with his writing and compared to his son, with very contrasting results. Tom flies back and forth to LA to accept and give out awards while his dad still treads the boards and in smaller and less salubrious venues that most egos could bear. "How tom holland eclipsed his dad" is an extraordinary true story and a complete fluke. Without a drama lesson in site, let alone a stage school, how a young boy gets himself long listed for an Academy Award and gets to meet and mix with Hollywood's glitterati is an interesting tale on its own - but the story is hilarious when set against the endeavours of his dad. Written with great affection by a dad who is much more proud than he is bemused, this book will appeal to any parent who wants their kid to prevail and to any kid who casually dreams of becoming a star themself.

    The Shire are lucky if all eleven players make it to a game, they have an average home attendance at their dilapidated Firs Park ground of 200 and they ended the 2004/05 season bottom of the Scottish Third Division - for the third consecutive year. Granted access to all areas, Jeff Connor gets into the dressing room, the board room and the dug-out. But, above all, he gets into the spirit of the club. He began the season a scoffing cynic and finished it lost in admiration for one of the dottiest sporting institutions in Britain as the Shire attempted to reach the promised land - SECOND bottom of the Scottish Third Division. At times funny, sad, heart-warming and embarrassing, as events on and off the pitch unfold, Pointless is an unmissable insight into a unique football team

    So this book is to help you find out what will work for you and your baby. I’ve included all the information and friendly advice I wish I’d been given before I became a mum for the first time, alongside the routines, shortcuts and tips that worked for me.I hope this book will empower you during your first twelve months of parenthood to trust your own mummy intuition, and to care for your children in your own way – confidently and happily. We all have that intuition, we just need to learn to tune into it! With chapters on feeding, sleeping, wellbeing and lifestyle – as well as how to look after yourself – this book will equip you with all the know-how you need to get you through the sleepless nights and concerns, to all the magical first moments. It’s a collection of everything that worked for me as a new mum – and I hope it works for you, too.Love, Holly xxx