Then he mowed the lawn (again) and knew his life was over. His wife was happy doing her crosswords, but Stanley felt like an old age pensioner with nothing to look forward to apart from sitting in his chair, watching daytime TV, and walking his dog, Roobarb. On a whim, after yet another wet walk with his overweight pooch, he put an advert in the corner shop window: Old Age Pensioner Investigations. No job too big, or small. From murder to missing cats, Detective Stanley can solve it all. He went home, got told off for letting Roobarb get mud on the lino, stared at Custard the cat who stole the only biscuit he was allowed a day (he was putting on weight), and fell asleep in his chair. Then the doorbell rang. He had a case. The old age private eye was in business. Now all he had to do was actually solve a murder. Oh, and get a pad, and a pen, and maybe detectives had cars too, and secretaries, and offices... He wasn't bored any more, that was the main thing. Plus the murder mystery, of course.

    54 pages of summaries and analysis on Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    As her full-time carer, Tottie listened to daily recitations of her favourite saying: 'Mother, mother, it's a bugger, sell the pig and buy me out.” Catch up now with Tottie in the AM years – After Mother – as she starts her new life in the rural Livradois-Forez region of the Auvergne, living in Tottie's Grottage. Meet the local inhabitants, from exotic birds to colourful characters like the Bin Pickers, Library Lady and the Bowing Farmer. All are described with Tottie's familiar gently ironic humour. Discover the procedure behind the Frogification of Tottie, and if her bid for French nationality is successful. 'Mother Was It Worth It?' is the concluding part of the Sell the Pig series, which began with 'Sell the Pig' and 'Is That Billinge Lump?'

    Avram Escovitz, a young Jew, arrives in Glasgow from Russia. He dreams of playing football until WWI intervenes and he begins work as a credit draper, peddling goods to Highlanders. A stranger in a strange land, Avram must set up a new business and capture the heart of a Highland lass. But how easy will it be to shake off his Jewish roots?

    Big sister and guardian of her family, she is thrown to the world without a harness, no guidance, and no help. Dahlia is not afraid to get her hands dirty or do the unthinkable to make sure her and her sister aren't separated. Love is foreign and get it by any means reigns supreme for her. Raising her sister was her only concern, but as her sister Deja prepares to set sail on her own journey, Dahlia is forced to focus on picking up the pieces and finding her own way. What was supposed to be a favor for his little brother turns into so much more as Ty'Key spends time peeling back the layers of Dahlia Starks. Ty' Key Patterson is handsome, strong, and willing to suffer the catastrophe of any damage Dahlia brings his way as long as she is. Both alike in so many ways, they run into different situations that could not only damage them personally but damage a long-standing friendship. Will they be able to clean up the damage or crumble like ashes scattered amongst the rubbish?

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.

    Because if you do, you may find out what happens when a former cop with a gun and nothing to lose decides to push back

    But that was not so about his wit. At times, he behaved as if he had no sense or common knowledge at all. Finally, after a long long wait, he gets married. He gets an invitation from his in-laws place especially for the celebration of Diwali. His father warned him before leaving that he had to behave properly at his in-laws house as he is no more just anybody. On the contrary, he is now their son-in-law. So he must show attitude while being at their place.What happens then……………?

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

    “It does not seem to be much use being anything else.”Have you ever wanted to deliver the ultimate Churchillian wisecrack? Give sound advice to a peer on how to deal with life’s problems? Or contribute to a heated discussion on international politics? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your arsenal as you laugh at Churchill’s devious brand of smarts and learn from his political and humanist outlook on life during the turmoil of the Second World War. Discover what he had to say about domestic politics, war and peace, power, struggles and strife, education, philosophy, and some of the biggest names of his time, including himself.Beautifully designed and curated, this entertaining collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Churchill quotations that speak of the politician’s enduring legacy in contemporary pop culture. Full of savvy and wisdoms, The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is sure to delight devoted fans of history and casual readers alike.

    he decides to die, not by his own hand, but in heroically helping the vulnerable. Since the peaceful Cotswold countryside offers limited opportunities for heroism, despite the presence of some weird and dangerous inhabitants, he ventures further afield. To his annoyance, new and unlikely friends mysteriously appear everywhere he goes, foiling his plans and sending him back to square one. Will he succeed or will he come to terms with his grief first? Was his wife as blame free and perfect as he thought or will lurking suspicions of infidelity be proved right? 'It was ironic that having nothing left to lose except his life, his life had become interesting again.'

     Bedlam, is the first of four books in the hysterically funny series, “Diary of a Stressed Out Mother”. Dora Loveday (harassed mother of four kids, two unruly dogs, and a psychotic cat), records the daily chaos and madness of her family life in this laugh-out-loud, comic romp of a diary!

    It may be gross, but kids love this stuff, and that's the point! I originally wrote this book for my son, a first grader, who was struggling with sight words and reading speed. The sight word books, decodable word books, early reader books, and flash cards they offered him at school were boring, which made it a challenge to get him excited about reading. So I decided to write a series of children's books using sight words but with stories about the things I heard him and his friends laughing about. It worked! My son was able to read my Billy Bad sight word stories with speed and confidence. And because he was laughing I knew his reading comprehension was improving. This book is written using mostly Dolch sight words and a few other words that are easily decodable. Unlike most sight word books and decodable word books, Billy Bad's sight word books have stories that will capture the attention of early readers and make them laugh. When kids enjoy the stories they read they fall in love with reading. I hope your child enjoys these silly (and gross) sight word books as much as my son does.