Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

    You'll lick your lips with this latest helping of the Belcher family, the stars of Fox Television's fan-favorite animated sitcom! Those delightful little scamps Tina, Gene, and Louise are always daydreaming of a life far from the reality of the family res

    There’s a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal’s in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager.Gary’s a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But he’s got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky…With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the five hundred needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.“Florida Man will make you laugh out loud. It’s sui generis.”

    Fishing, swimming, golf, tennis. Seems like the ideal location for a former secret agent posing as a retired police officer and part-time private investigator. Until people start disappearing. Suggested reading order for the Nicholas Colt series: COLT LADY 52 POCKET-47 CROSSCUT SNUFF TAG 9 KEY DEATH BLOOD TATTOO SYCAMORE BLUFF THE JACK REACHER FILES: FUGITIVE THE JACK REACHER FILES: VELOCITY (Novella) THE BLOOD NOTEBOOKS Note: Although published at a later date, the events in COLT and LADY 52 precede those in Jude Hardin's debut thriller POCKET-47. All of the books listed work as stand-alone thrillers, depending on reader preference. Nicholas Colt also appears in several short stories, including the one titled RATTLED and the one titled RACKED. Praise for Jude Hardin’s Thrillers: POCKET-47 sucked me in and held me enthralled. Author Jude Hardin keeps the pace frantic, the thrills non-stop, but best of all is his hero, the wonderfully ironic Nicholas Colt. This is a character I'm eager to follow through many adventures to come. —Tess Gerritsen, New York Times bestselling author of ICE COLD. The best PI debut I've read in years, fit to share shelf space with the best of Ross Macdonald, Sue Grafton, and Robert B. Parker. POCKET-47 is so hot you may burn your hands reading. Highly recommended. —J.A. Konrath, author of the Jack Daniels mysteries Hardin gets everything right in his powerhouse thriller debut, which introduces rock star–turned–PI Nicholas Colt. —Publishers Weekly on POCKET-47 KEY DEATH is an exhilarating thriller that punches way above its weight. It hits you hard and fast with crackling suspense, hair-raising twists and stunning revelations. Word of advice: don't start on this one unless you're prepared to stay up all night. —John Ling, author of THE BLASPHEMER Colt is a physical, no-holds-barred PI, reminiscent of Robert B. Parker's Spenser and Lee Child's Jack Reacher, and his debut is action-packed. With a hefty toll of dead bodies, some described in cringe-inducing detail, this is crime fiction at its rawest. Hard-boiled connoisseurs should make Colt's acquaintance now. —Booklist on POCKET-47 With CROSSCUT, Jude Hardin takes the PI novel and psychological suspense to a new, unrestrained level. Fast, fierce, and relentless. —David Morrell, New York Times bestselling creator of Rambo

    

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    With a new introduction and conclusion, as well as a foreword by author Simcha Fisher, Like Living Among Scorpions is a fresh look at the most popular humorous posts that chronicle Jen's attempts to keep her sanity while managing a house full of babies and scorpions. Longtime readers will love reliving these moments with Jen, and new readers will enjoy this introduction to her unique perspective on life.

     Once the zigzagging hormones and endless, bleary-eyed exhaustion of the first year have worn off, you're left with the startling realization that your tiny, immobile bundle has become a rampaging toddler, complete with his or her very own, very forceful personality. Just as Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay helped debunk decades of parenting myths to offer honest advice for the first year, Naptime Is the New Happy Hour is a voice of reason for every woman facing questions such as: Will refined sugar make my toddler's head explode? Is it wrong to have a cocktail at two in the afternoon? And what exactly is a Backyardigan? With biting wit and boatloads of common sense, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor addresses all these concerns and more. Whether it's planning easy outings that are fun for both of you (fact: your child will find the local Target just as scintillating as the Guggenheim), dishing the dirt on preschool TV (those mothers who swear their kids don't watch television? Liars or psychos, every one), or perfecting the art of the play date, readers will find advice, anecdotes, and a reassuring sense of camaraderie to help them survive -- and even thrive -- during each hilarious, frustrating, and amazing moment.

    A delicate balance of rhythm and line, the haiku has provided countless readers with an appreciation of the changing of the seasons and the miracles of nature. Now, in Gay Haiku, readers can finally appreciate more important things—like the changing of boyfriends and the miracles of shopping.Irresistible and irreverent, this collection of one hundred and ten witty and wicked short poems captures the many dating disasters of first-time author Joel Derfner. In a wonderfully fresh and original voice, Derfner shamelessly mines his personal life to send up such broad-ranging topics as gay pop culture, politics, family, sex, and, of course, home decorating.Gay, straight, or undecided, readers will delight in Derfner’s dry sense of humor and unmistakable charm as he tackles the big questions of life.

    even when you don't want to. After finally deciding to accept the job with Erica, Matt makes the move up to Seattle and starts to work through the balancing act of maintaining life under the hard task master known as Corporate America. No matter how much Erica works to keep him from becoming a different man, one thing is for sure… he’s changing. In the bedroom if nowhere else… ** This is book 2 in a new series. There is a cliffhanger, and book three is available. + 18 due to strong language, explicit sexual content and possible violence.

    Philippa Gregory Tudor Court Novels 6 Books Collection Set Titles in the Set are The Constant Princess, The Other Boleyn Girl ,The Boleyn Inheritance, The Virgin's Lover, The Other Queen and The Queen's Fool.

    Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.