Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

    256 pages."Finally, a Dinosaur Comics book, unabridged and in full colour, AND with all three secret texts for each comic included! And it's so pretty, you guys. So pretty.Featuring an introduction by Randall Munroe of XKCD and an all-new index written by Ryan that includes, among other things, the 11 different types of makeouts referenced by T-Rex, this book is great. It gets greater: there's also an interview with the author AND a photo of Michael "Worf" Dorn. You know that you've always wanted these extras collected in one book, maybe with hundreds of Dinosaur Comics in the book too. THAT DREAM HAS NOW COME TRUE, and it's called "Dinosaur Comics: Dudes Already Know About Chickens".

     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

    Shocked and distressed at both his absence and his silence, Kate turns to Google for some answers. Why has her husband left and more to the point what can she do to make him come home? Together with her faithful friend Fiona they come up with a strategy to persuade her errant husband to see the light and return to his loving wife. Unfortunately for Kate, even Google doesn’t have all the answers

    Funny jokes, Knock Knock jokes, Kids Jokes.Jokes for Kids, Best Joke Book for Kids is styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate. That does not mean you go stiff on the kids, far from it. You want jokes that are funny, corny and have some substance. Usually the really good jokes will give even you the tickles.Kids jokes, with over 200 funny jokes, this will keep the kids, and adult laughing for some time.

     Ten Dates Statistically, if you kiss a lot of frogs there's bound to be at least one that's not a complete toad, isn't there? When Joanie’s engagement becomes more stalemate than soulmate, her best friends stage an intervention sure to make even the most hardened, serial daters wince: 10 Dates in 10 Days. With nothing to lose, Joanie embarks on a hilarious rollercoaster of blind dates. But when the sexy as sin guy next door starts throwing his spanner in the works, Joanie soon realises she may have bitten off more than she can chew. 10 Dates is an enemies to lovers, standalone romantic comedy with a happy ending. It is best suited for readers over the age of eighteen due to sexual themes and mature content. Ten Dares Can 10 Dares help Melinda loosen up, conquer stress and find love? Or might they push her over the edge.... Melinda Spencer had everything but now her life has fallen apart. Her two best friends, Mikey and Joanie are worried. Melinda’s been acting even more highly strung than usual. They decide to stage an intervention. Something to help her lighten up and take her mind off things: 10 crazy dares. After all, they say laughter is the best medicine... Never one to squelch on a dare, Melinda accepts her challenge. The dares look simple enough: knock on a door and run away, tend her lady garden, flash a stranger… and if it gets Joanie and Mikey off her back about loosening up, it’ll be worth it. But with a sexy vet, a troublesome ex, and a village full of nutters hot on her trail, has Melinda finally bitten off more than she can chew? Ten Dares is a hilarious romp about a strung-out single mum trying to hold everything together when life is throwing her lemons as curve balls. Ten Lies Katie Perkins lives a simple life. She takes care of her son, works hard, and tries not to worry about the man shaped hole in her life. That is until she wins a fantastic luxury holiday. Throwing caution to the wind, Katie let’s down her hair and the holiday mood takes over. Enter Jackson Quinn, a handsome doctor who is no stranger to the good life. Katie has no experience of riches, and with only her bus fare home in her pocket she decides there’s no harm in a few white lies… Filthy rich? Check. Size ten? Check. Olympic Gymnast who can complete a Rubik’s Cube in under thirty seconds? Check. After all, it’s not like she’s ever going to see Doctor Quinn again… Follow Katie’s hilarious journey as she learns that sometimes those little white lies really can come back and bite you on the butt. This standalone romantic comedy has a happy ending and no cliff hanger. It is best suited for readers over the age of eighteen due to sexual themes and mature content.

    As her full-time carer, Tottie listened to daily recitations of her favourite saying: 'Mother, mother, it's a bugger, sell the pig and buy me out.” Catch up now with Tottie in the AM years – After Mother – as she starts her new life in the rural Livradois-Forez region of the Auvergne, living in Tottie's Grottage. Meet the local inhabitants, from exotic birds to colourful characters like the Bin Pickers, Library Lady and the Bowing Farmer. All are described with Tottie's familiar gently ironic humour. Discover the procedure behind the Frogification of Tottie, and if her bid for French nationality is successful. 'Mother Was It Worth It?' is the concluding part of the Sell the Pig series, which began with 'Sell the Pig' and 'Is That Billinge Lump?'

    Forced to quit her terraced house in Bermondsey for rent arrears, Kate has to take the unpalatable step of moving to a slum tenement block in Milldyke Street, Dockhead. Here she meets the attractive Amy Almond whose friendship opens new doors of opportunity for fresh relationships. When Kate stumbles over the murdered body of a single woman who lived in the next block, she realises that she, herself, could be a target. She turns to the attractive and sympathetic Sergeant Cassidy for protection and finds that her emotions, as well as her life, are in danger...

     “You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

    What this book lacks in length, it more than makes up for with ersatz knowledgeability and diagrams. Particularly helpful for guys who have just come out of a long term relationship - but also universally applicable.

    Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk

    0 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer.

    Eli's sister, Salem, now runs the lodge alone. She’s overworked, broke, and desperate to find love, but refuses to leave the area, confident her younger brother will one day return home.When two mysterious men arrive in Winterlake, possessing a unique key that once belonged to Eli, Salem wonders if they have a connection to his disappearance. Her suspicions grow when she learns one of them is the grandson of a strange recluse who lived deep in the woods behind the lodge. She keeps her guard up, but uses the opportunity to elicit his help in the hunt for her brother.With her best friend and the mystery men at her side, Salem may finally be able to discover the shocking truth about what really happened to Eli. But while following a sinister trail of clues, a second person goes missing, and she quickly finds herself knee-deep in drama, chaos, and an unexpected whirlwind romance.

    But she will soon out and someone is going to pay!Aliyah is attempting to put her life back together after an unsuccessful suicide attempt due to a horrific husband when someone from her past gives her a reason to live. Will Carlos let that happen?

    Big sister and guardian of her family, she is thrown to the world without a harness, no guidance, and no help. Dahlia is not afraid to get her hands dirty or do the unthinkable to make sure her and her sister aren't separated. Love is foreign and get it by any means reigns supreme for her. Raising her sister was her only concern, but as her sister Deja prepares to set sail on her own journey, Dahlia is forced to focus on picking up the pieces and finding her own way. What was supposed to be a favor for his little brother turns into so much more as Ty'Key spends time peeling back the layers of Dahlia Starks. Ty' Key Patterson is handsome, strong, and willing to suffer the catastrophe of any damage Dahlia brings his way as long as she is. Both alike in so many ways, they run into different situations that could not only damage them personally but damage a long-standing friendship. Will they be able to clean up the damage or crumble like ashes scattered amongst the rubbish?