Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Riotously illustrated by Jerry "The King" Lawler, this new Christmas story will delight children, wrestling fans and readers of all ages. Make room on the shelf next to The Night Before Christmas and a Christmas Carol, because this Yuletide tale has attitude! Mick Foley - number one New York Times best-selling author, Hardcore Legend, and Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation - crafts a delightful tale of mischief, mayhern and the true meaning of Christmas. When the elves revolt against Santa and refuse to make any toys and the reindeer gang up on Rudolph as though they've joined DX, Santa Claus gives up hope that anyone these days has the true Christmas spirit. When the situation looks its bleakest, Mrs. Claus calls in the cavalry - Kane, Jericho, Val Venis, Jerry Lawler, Kurt Angle, Edge and the rest of the Federation Superstars! How the wrestlers misbehave - making things even worse - and how one unexpected and unassuming person saves Christmas for the whole world is an unforgettable and uplifting story that will add good cheer to your holiday season year after year. Perfect for reading out loud near a cracking fire or while tucked in at bed time, Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos is sure to become a family tradition in your home.

    Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.

    These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough but would read as if written by people who should not have written them. Sadly, that day is upon us. The fourth book in the HOW series, Cold Fusion, is to be feared. Like its predecessors, Giraffes? Giraffes! and Animals of the Ocean, Cold Fusion must also be kept far from the young people in your life. This book reveals the secrets of cold fusion, one of the most controversial scientific pursuits that can be conducted in a bathtub.

    However, life steps in and derails their happily ever after train. His street life. Her attorney life. Less communication. More arguments. Exes. New interests. All of these play a role in pushing the couple further apart instead of together. Goo and Candy are strong alphas and don't take any mess from anyone. However, is their love strong enough to survive the catalysts and chaos surrounding them? Will they ever get back onto the happily ever after train? Or, is life as they know it will be lived separately with other people? Get updated on familiar characters and get introduced to new characters in this new blazing urban romance by best-selling authors Twyla T and Patrice Balark.

    She will do anything to protect her family, even if that means giving up what she wants the most, a life with Santano“Tan” Morales. Tan knows that something is going on between Kia and his father but is not sure what. Tan has a lot on his plate with trying to keep his ex-wife’s advances at bay and finding out the secrets his wife and father are keeping from him. Will Kia trust Tan enough to confide in him? Sable Mills thought she had escaped her troubled past life in Nashville. Her controlling father was dead, and so was her cheating husband, thanks to being rescued by Kole Morales. Unfortunately, her past finds her and threatens to take away her newfound freedom. Can Kole save the woman he is falling for? Or will his secrets come back to not only haunt him but Sable as well? The D-City Squad comes together for one final ride, to battle new and old enemies. Viper and the crew will have to deal with more lies and drama. But will all of them make it out with their lives?

    Enjoy these hilarious stories about stupid criminals, their hilarious attempts at crime, and bizarre mistakes they made that prevented them from getting away with their crimes.

    Elaine Ambrose boldly writes her latest kiss-my-attitude book as a sassy sequel to Midlife Cabernet. Ambrose shares her festive life experiences and career-crushing anecdotes as she explains how to remain relevant after age 50, why grown children make great travel companions, and how to balance midlife without falling over. Ambrose notes that her feminine mystique sprung a leak after years of competing as a funny female in a serious male job market. Now the hard work is done, and she invites midlife women to join her for Happy Hour.

    This hilarious 233 page full-color book contains over 400 of cartoonist, Chad Carpenter's latest comic creations. Consisting of anything animal, vegetable or mineral, but with a decidedly outdoorsy slant, this award-winning comic strip takes an offbeat view of the woodsy side of life. Find out for yourself why TUNDRA is one of the fastest-growing comic strips on the planet!