Gaimon gathers the best of his popular Q&A column—and pokes fun at his younger self.Despite the howling protests from his peers, no one’s ever been more willing to spill the beans on what it’s really like inside the pro cycling peloton than the sarcastic scribe Phil Gaimon. Building on the outrageous success of his hilarious 2014 debut, Pro Cycling on $10 a Day: From Fat Kid to Euro Pro, Gaimon gathers the absolute gems from his monthly Q&A feature column in VeloNews magazine into his new book, Ask a Pro: Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America’s Foremost Cycling Sage, adding a dose of fresh commentary and even more acerbic and sharp-eyed insights. With six years of material to work with—including his incredible rise into the pro ranks, the devastating loss of his contract for 2015, and his bold return to the Big League—Gaimon covers every possible topic from the team dinner table to the toilet with plenty of stops along the way. Gaimon offers wise-ass (and sometimes earnest) answers to fan questions like: · How much chamois cream should I use?· I’ve started shaving my legs. How can I be accepted by my friends?· What do you do to protect yourself when you know you’re about to crash?· How many bikes does my husband really need?· What’s the best victory celebration? Do you practice yours?· In women’s cycling, what is the proper definition of a pro?· What do you say to someone if they honk or almost hit you?· Do you name your bikes?· What do pros think when they see a recreational cyclist in a full pro kit or riding a pro-level bike?· Can you take your bike apart and put it back together?· How bad does the weather have to be to call off a training ride?· How do you know when it’s time to change a tire?· When you’re in a breakaway all day, do riders form a future friendship?· Riders keep complaining about "unsafe" weather at races. When did pro cyclists turn into such wussies?· How do the pros define a "crash"?Gaimon wields his outsider’s wit to cast a cock-eyed gaze at the peculiar manners, mores, and traditions that make the medieval sport of cycling so irresistible to watch. Ask a Pro includes new resources from Gaimon, too, including his Cookie Map of America, dubious advice on winning the race buffet, a cautionary guide for host housing, Phil’s pre-race warm-up routine, and a celebrity baker’s recipe for The Phil Cookie.

    A bright, witty assessment of football in the 1950s.

    

    Her words inflamed the passions of sports lovers across the country, and her piece quickly became the newspaper's most e-mailed and talked-about article in the week it ran. The intense reaction of fans forced Heller to look inward, and to re-examine her feelings about winning and losing. Was she a "bandwagon" fan, as some branded her? A traitor? Confessions of a She-Fan is a witty, observant, and decidedly female look at the nature of the bond between fan and team. Jane Heller goes in search of answers. With her husband as her traveling partner, she literally follows the Bronx Bombers through the rest of their challenging 2007 season, hoping to score interviews with the players, watch every game in every city, and inject some excitement into her marriage. Through interactions with other fans, as well as members of the media covering the Yankees, plus game-by-game analyses, Heller learns personal life lessons about competition, loyalty, and acceptance--and about why baseball, like any truly romantic relationship, requires commitment, patience, and a deep, abiding love.

    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

    This book is full of my best stories – kickabouts with jumpers for goalposts with Bobby Moore, mine and Sandra’s disastrous honeymoon to Torquay in a dodgy car and my funniest ‘Mr Pastry’ moments – as well as my thoughts on the important things in life. I’m finally sharing what I’ve learned on and off the pitch: from growing up poor in Poplar to the heights of the Premiership and even lying in a coffin with a load of rats on national television. It’s everything I know about true team spirit, hard work, tough times, why family are so important and why everyone deserves respect no matter whether they’re royal or sleeping rough – and, of course, the real joy of a jam roly-poly.'

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    But few could have imagined that Pacquiao would have ever reached the pinnacle of his sport, considering his background. He ran away from home—a cardboard shack in General Santos City in the Philippines—at age fourteen. After making his way to Manila, and eventually the United States, Pacquiao hooked up with trainer Freddie Roach in 2001, and, from there, his fighting career took off.Named one of Time magazine’s “100 Most Influential People in the World” last year, the aptly nicknamed Pac-Man is a fascinating figure who will go down as one of the greatest boxers in history.

    Combining Adam's inimitable comedic voice and four-color illustrations by his friend Michael Narren, Rich Man Poor Man is a hilariously accurate look at what the people born with silver spoons in their mouths have in common with the people whose only utensils are plastic sporks stolen from a Shakey's.

    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

     b) The average weekend golfer would love to improve but doesn´t have the time or the interest to spend long hours practicing. After studying the golf swing for over 25 years, JF Tamayo has developed a revolutionary method proved for the weekend golfer of any level to significantly improve distance and accuracy from day one, based on three main principles: 1) FOCUS ON CHANGES THAT MOST POSITIVELY AFFECT RESULTS: Opposite to the traditional methods, this book will only ask you to make changes in the most relevant parts of the swing needed to hit solid and consistent shots: the backswing and the transition between the backswing and the downswing. 2) LEARN HOW TO DEVELOP AN EASY, REPEATABLE AND SOLID BACKSWING: One of the biggest breakthroughs of the method was the development of a unique and much easier way to consistently make a solidly sound backswing that will look similar to the new Tiger Wood´s one plane backswing but much simpler to learn, to do and to repeat. 3) LEARN HOW TO CREATE LAG: Being able to increase lag during the downswing is one of the major differences between the amateur's golf swing versus a professional's and probably one of the most misunderstood concepts of golf. In this book you will easily learn how to lag the club like the pros, dramatically improving your clubhead speed, ball striking ability and distance. Authors: J. F. TAMAYO - 143 Photographs by J. Jaeckel

    Join the “Elite” Group of Golfers that Consistently Shoot Scores in the 80s… A proven blueprint for breaking 90, not just once, but every time you tee it up! What if there was a simple, proven blueprint for breaking 90, not just once, but every time you tee it up? And all you had to do was execute this simple strategy? What if I could show you how join the “elite” group of golfers that break 90 on a regular basis? Do you think you could shoot lower scores and get more enjoyment out of playing golf? If you answered “YES,” you’ll want to download my Blueprint that reveals all the details including: • How to quickly create a plan for breaking 90 before you even hit your first tee shot… • The 4 simple skills you need to master to break 90 with any set of golf clubs… • A simple strategy for two-putting every green… • The right way to play every hole (it’s probably NOT the way you’re currently playing golf)… • And much, much more! Christian Henning

    Moore-Shaver, with her husband and children, spent ten years in the Alaskan bush where they lived a simple but satisfying lifestyle with all the attendant challenges and adventures. She and her family lived in the Interior of Alaska where winter temperature drop as low as -60 degrees or more and stay there for weeks on end. The summers are three months long, and everything must be done during that short season to prepare for the following winter. She tells of encounters with bears, surviving spring floods, and setting her husband's broken leg while looking at a first-aid book. Her desire to learn the skills of bush life led her to tan moose hides, catch fish in nets, snare rabbits for dinner, and much more, most of which was learned through trial and error. The average contact with others was about every three months when a friend might fly out to visit and maybe bring mail. Loneliness was never a problem, says the author, but it was exciting to see someone after a long stretch of isolation. Growing up near Boston, Massachusetts, hardly prepared Ms. Moore-Shaver for such a rough and primitive life, but her love of nature and her interest in learning all she could about this back-to-basics way of life come through in the pages of her book. She tells her story just as it happened and includes journal entries she made at the time.

    Ostensibly an A-to-Z encyclopedia of all known sports, many sports are never mentioned. There’s not a word about rugby, volleyball, Roller Derby, swimming, or (shockingly) Basque pelota or shinty. There is a chapter about sliding, but none about skiing. Competitive eating and rhythmic gymnastics will have to wait for another book. However, there are roughly eight chapters about tackle football–“the greatest sport in the world, and everyone knows it”–and a good four or five about horse racing, so quit complaining before you’ve even read the book. There will be plenty of time for complaining after you’ve finished it (about an hour from now–tops).Those sports that are covered in the book are examined with exhaustive inattention to unretained detail. Many chapters have nothing to do with sport. For instance, the chapter on hunting is about hunting for a hassle-free triple tall Americano light on the water.So, then, what exactly is this book-like thing you hold in your hands? Part nostalgic memoir (like the summer Mark Sansaver hit 843 home runs in backyard Wiffle ball), part Dave Barry—esque riffs (like explaining bocce to non-Italians), part scholarly tract (includes the origins of tackle football), and part metafiction (see “Time-outs”). . . all with illustrations drawn by Kenny’s daughters, it is what Kenny calls his anti coffee-table book, or Coaster. The publisher calls it $24.95. Reviewers like Michiko Kakutani may call it “insipid,” but because Kenny has included a revolutionary “backwords” following the book’s foreword, she’ll have to call it an “insipid breakthrough” of a book.So what is this book-like thing? Like the great mysteries in life, you’ll have to decide for yourself.*That would include a thought I just had. This thought had something to do with Wiffle ball. What a great chapter. But that’s not to say the chapter on hunting is terrible even though it’s mostly about coffee. Plus I wrote stuff about my children. There’s even a chapter on jai alai. This book has both still photographs and still illustrations. It doesn’t have any moving pictures. That would have required the inclusion of a projector and a big white screen in the book, and I’m trying to take a stand on energy conservation. Strangely enough, Ken Griffey Jr. asked me if the book would have video. This will make sense when you read the chapter on him.I wish I'd written about the Seattle Pilots. I used to go to their games when I was nine. My favorite player was Tommy Harper.  But this isn't just a sports book. It covers all sorts of things. I hope they place it in the Miscellaneous section. That should draw a lot of attention.  I was told that the presence of a sub-title would sell more books. How am I doing with you? Make sure to tell people about this alluring and informative sub-title. This sub-title is longer than some of my chapters.From the Hardcover edition.