OMG: How I created the Universe, Adam, and Steve


David Javerbaum - 2011
    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

True Ghost Stories: Jim Harold's Campfire 5


Jim Harold - 2016
    It makes you wonder what is REALLY out there?" -- Reader, Beverly (on Campfire 4) *Each of the first four books in the Campfire series has reached #1 Best Seller status on the Kindle Supernatural rankings on Amazon. FREE Audio Download with Purchase On this special audio Campfire, Jim replays his 5 favorite stories as told by the actual experiencers! Get the exclusive link with your purchase of True Ghost Stories: Campfire 5!

Meat


Michael Bray - 2012
    For its unfortunate customers, the ordinary looking store could be the last trip they ever make—for its shelves are stacked with horrific delicacies made from human flesh, and the store boasts a Meat aisle that has to be seen to be believed, the unlikely group of unwitting shoppers must come together to not only survive, but to try to find a way to escape from the store, and the inhuman Staff who are keen for them to stay… forever.

There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN: A Dark Lord's Diary: (A Memoir and Manifesto For Villains and Monsters)


Jeff Mach - 2019
     The Dwarves: Doomed hammer-swinging dwellers of the underground. The Armies of Man: No one tells a better tale, or causes a more rapid extinction. The White Wizard: Embodiment of all that is good and right; just ask him. ....and The Chosen One: Victim--sorry, meant to say "Hero"--of a glorious prophecy. The Chosen One is destined to bring down the Dark Lord, if not killed first. In which case, The White Wizard will have to find a replacement. Again. Behold! A (relatively) epic narration of world-changing events, told from the point of view of the Dark Lord. 'Tis a story of shattering destiny, drinking, arcane secrets, drinking, and battles worth of the Sagas. Well, not the Sagas of Men, but the Orcs have probably got something to say about it. Let's get going; it's time to steal the Sun. "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN" is the first novel by Jeff Mach, playwright, event creator, and certified Dark Lord.

Made for Love


Alissa Nutting - 2017
    Life with Hazel's father is strained at best, but it's got to be better than her marriage to dominating tech billionaire, Byron Gogol. For over a decade, Hazel has been quarantining in Byron's family compound, her every movement and vital sign tracked. So when Byron demands to wirelessly connect the two of them via brain chips, turning Hazel into a human guinea pig, she makes a run for it. Will Hazel be able to free herself from Byron's virtual clutches before he finds her?

Seven For The Slab: A Horror Portmanteau


Doug Lamoreux - 2016
    He gathers his wits and calls emergency services. Despite a torrential thunderstorm, Sheriff's deputies, the Fire Department, and an ambulance all respond quickly. But there's little they can do. The victims are not only dead, they are long dead. The snoop invites the emergency workers into his garage, out of the rain, to await the arrival of the coroner and the funeral home staff, who will take his neighbors away. The lightning flashes... The thunder rolls... And the setting inspires the police, firefighters, and paramedics to pass the time by telling stories, both thrilling and chilling - and you are invited to join them. In Seven For The Slab, Rondo award nominee Doug Lamoreux spins seven eerie tales of terror and mystery into one bewitching brew.

The LawDog Files: African Adventures


D. LawDog - 2017
    But long before he put on the deputy's star, he grew up in Nigeria, where his experiences were equally unforgettable. In THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES, LawDog chronicles his encounters with everything from bush pilots, 15-foot pythons, pygmy mongooses, brigadier-captains, and Peace Corp hippies to the Nigerian space program. THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES are every bit as hilarious as the previous volume, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. Africa wins again, and again, and again, but, so too does the reader in this sobering, but hilarious collection of true tales from the Dark Continent.

The Warm Glow of Happy Homes


Andersen Prunty - 2012
    The theme: Mexico Frat Funland. There are going to be khaki cargo shorts, red cups, even a pinata. Maybe sombreros. Team Klaus will be there to DJ the event. But it won't be without its challenges. People are canceling left and right. No one seems to be acting the way they should and space birds are ripping the sky apart. What is intended to be the social event of the summer totters on the brink of becoming a violent nightmare.

HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!


Mykle Hansen - 2008
    Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.

The Monkey's Penis (Shingles Book 3)


Steve Wetherell - 2018
    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

John Scalzi Is Not A Very Popular Author And I Myself Am Quite Popular: How SJWs Always Lie About Our Comparative Popularity Levels


Theophilus Pratt - 2015
    While other books may claim to tell you how to take down the Thought Police, only one book is taking the fight right to the top. Yes, from the mind that brought you the popular blog feature Sad Puppies Review Books comes this definitive takedown of the internet's culture of Social Justice as embodied by the man who controls it all: JOHN SCALZI. Read this book to learn everything you need to know about Social Justice Warriors, their tactics, their treachery, their perfidious entryism. Topics include: * John Scalzi's blog is not that interesting and no one reads it. * John Scalzi does not understand satire as much as I, Theophilus Pratt, understand satire. * John Scalzi did not get me, Theophilus Pratt, kicked out of the SFWA. * John Scalzi's deal with Tor was not a very good deal. And more!

Fludd


Hilary Mantel - 1989
    He is the curate sent by the bishop to assist Father Angwin-or is he? In the most unlikely of places, a superstitious town that understands little of romance or sentimentality, where bad blood between neighbors is ancient and impenetrable, miracles begin to bloom. No matter how copiously Father Angwin drinks while he confesses his broken faith, the level of the bottle does not drop. Although Fludd does not appear to be eating, the food on his plate disappears. Fludd becomes lover, gravedigger, and savior, transforming his dull office into a golden regency of decision, unashamed sensation, and unprecedented action. Knitting together the miraculous and the mundane, the dreadful and the ludicrous, Fludd is a tale of alchemy and transformation told with astonishing art, insight, humor, and wit.

CFI! The Book: A Satirical Aviation Comedy


Alex Stone - 2018
    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

The Protectors: Vigilante Justice


Bernard Lee DeLeo - 2012
    Bradwick snaps when he and James bust in on a kidnapping ring, enslaving children for pornography. He brutally executes the three kidnappers, stunning James. He sets up the scene to pass for self-defense with Ellie James cooperation. Their ruse succeeds, triggering a two cop crackdown on crime the city of Oakland’s leaders scurry to stop. Dedicated to end ‘look the other way’ crime suppression tactics, ending in destruction and death for the common people in Oakland, Bradwick and James decide it’s time to go on offense.Connor explains it this way after they rescue the kidnapped children, “The kids made me start thinking about how I want folks to look at us. I don’t care anymore to visit someone to tell them we found the people who broke into their business or house and robbed them blind. I want them to wave at us from their house or business as we go by because we prevent the gangbangers, drug dealers and thugs from terrorizing them.”The crime war takes on different meaning when they bust an MS-13 El Salvadoran gangster’s illegal alien processing center. Connor and Ellie run headlong into a corrupt politician on the gangster’s payroll, and the terrorists behind him. Soon, everyday crime fighting busts become a fond memory. (Taken from Amazon.com)

Bloodlust


P.K. Vandcast - 2013
    The gift has allowed him to become the fastest draw in the west; however, it has come with a price-- painful headaches… and fragmented dreams.Evil has come to the Arizona Territory and Cane's power seems to be ineffective in tracking down a deranged killer.