The Impending Sausage Sandwich of Doom


Kirk St Moritz - 2017
    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

Sister Agatha: The World's Oldest Serial Killer


Domhnall O'Donoghue - 2016
    During a routine check-up, however, her doctor claims she has just a week to live, news that proves to be quite inconvenient, seeing as the beloved sister has one ambition in life: to be the oldest person in the world. At last count, she was the fifth. However, never one to admit defeat, Sister Agatha concocts a bold Plan B. Dusting off her passport, she decides to leave Irish shores for the first time in her very long life, and using the few days remaining, plans to travel across three continents and meet the only four people whose birthday cakes boast more candles than hers. And then, one by one, she intends on killing them. What the media is saying: "Domhnall [has] some mind...When they say 'comic thriller', this book does what it says on the tin...There is so much in it to enjoy...It works really, really well." ~ Gerry Kelly, Late Lunch, LMFM Radio Interview: http://utv.vo.llnwd.net/o16/LMFM/2016... • • • "A laugh-out-loud, globe-trotting adventure that is wildly unique with an enormous amount of heart. And despite Sister Agatha being a considerable 118 years of age, the naughty nun still has more energy than a school playground! One of the year's best débuts." ~ Jennifer Zamparelli, presenter of 2FM's Breakfast Republic

Shit Happens


Eileen Wharton - 2012
    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

Where There's Smoke: Charlie Walden's First Case


Peter Murphy - 2017
    But he soon finds himself struggling to keep the peace between three feisty fellow judges who have very different views about how to do their job, and about how Charlie should do his.And as if that’s not enough, there’s the endless battle against the ‘Grey Smoothies’, the humourless grey-suited civil servants who seem determined to drown Charlie in paperwork and strip the court of its last vestiges of civilisation.No hope of a quiet life then for Charlie, and there are times when his real job – trying the challenging criminal cases that come before him – actually seems like light relief. If you like Rumpole of the Bailey, you'll love Walden of Bermondsey Praise for Walden of Bermondsey 'No one writes with more wit, warmth and insight about the law and its practitioners than Peter Murphy. He has no equal since the great John 'Rumpole' Mortimer' - David Ambrose'Though his exasperation is sometimes palpable, what triumphs over everything is his sense of humour. And it is the humour that makes Walden of Bermondsey such a delightful read. Think of him as what Rumpole would be like if he ever became a judge, and you get some idea of his self-deprecating wit and indomitable stoicism. Add a dash of Henry Cecil for his situation and AP Herbert for the fun he has with the law, and you get a sense of Peter's literary precedents' - Paul Magrath

The Truth About Archie and Pye


Jonathan Pinnock - 2018
    Burgess himself will die tonight in an equally odd manner, leaving Tom with a locked case and a lot of unanswered questions. Join Tom and a cast of disreputable and downright dangerous characters in this witty thriller set in a murky world of murder, mystery and complex equations, involving internet conspiracy theorists, hedge fund managers, the Belarusian mafia and a cat called µ.

Don't Eat the Puffin: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life


Jules Brown - 2018
    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.

The Key: Part One


Simon Toyne - 2013
    TRY THIS BESTSELLING THRILLER FOR A SPECIAL PRICE. Conspiracy thrillers don’t come bigger or better than THE KEY – from the author of the bestselling thriller debut of 2011, SANCTUS.Please note that the map in this ebook is best displayed on tablet devicesPage extent: 50 pagesTHE FATE OF MAN IS IN THE HANDS OF ONE WOMANIn the historic Turkish city of Ruin, American journalist Liv Adamsen wakes up in an isolation ward. She knows she entered Ruin’s forbidden ancient Citadel, but remembers only darkness.A strange whisper within says she is `the key': but to what?For the desperate fanatics inside the Citadel, only her return can secure their survival. Charity worker Gabriel Mann, meanwhile, believes Liv could unlock mankind’s most profound mystery.And for a powerful global faction, Liv’s silence – at any cost – is all that matters. Hunted across continents, Gabriel and Liv approach an explosive discovery – one that will tear them apart and change the world forever…

Die Laughing 2: Five More Comic Crime Novels


Ben Rehder - 2014
    He's working a routine case, complete with hours of tedious surveillance, when he sees something that shakes him to the core. There, with the subject, is a little blond girl wearing a pink top and denim shorts—the same outfit worn by Tracy Turner, a six-year-old abducted the day before. When the police are skeptical of Ballard's report—and with his history, who can blame them?—it's the beginning of the most important case of his life.LAST CHANCE LASSITERPaul LevineIn this prequel to the “Jake Lassiter” series, the linebacker-turned-lawyer faces overwhelming odds. Fired from his job and dumped by his girlfriend, Lassiter rents a grungy law office in a Miami Beach parking garage. What else could go wrong? Well, he could be disbarred for punching out his own client. As for cases, the down-and-out lawyer has only one. Lassiter represents Cadillac Johnson, an aging rhythm and blues musician who claims his greatest song was stolen by a top-of-the-charts hip-hop artist. The evidence is long gone and chances of winning are slim. Except for one thing. “If your cause is just,” Lassiter says, “no case is impossible.”CLIENTParnell HallStanley Hastings couldn't be happier. He had his first paying client, and the assignment was straight out of a forties noir movie, tailing the man's cheating wife and snapping pictures of her at a motel. If only he hadn't fallen asleep on stakeout. When he wakes up the woman is dead, the murder weapon is in his car, and a small town police force straight out of In the Heat of the Night has him cast in the Sidney Poitier role. To clear his name—and get paid—Stanley will have to figure out who his client is, who killed the woman in the upstate motel, and who was the resultant corpse!RADIO ACTIVITYBill FitzhughFM rock deejay Rick Shannon has just been fired from his latest Classic Rock station. He’s thinking it’s time to get out of radio once and for all. But when a famous deejay disappears in Mississippi, Rick gets a job offer to take over the slot. So he packs his bags and moves back to his home state where he comes across a tape of an illegally recorded phone conversation that might explain the fate of the missing deejay. Rick starts looking into the matter, and before you can say “Stairway to Heaven” he’s uncovered a scheme of blackmail, arson, murder, and a major FCC violation. Based on an illegal recording made by the author (and former FM rock deejay), Radio Activity redefines classic rock.CALABAMA Steve BrewerWhen a speeding Corvette flies over his head, leaving him without a scratch, Eric Newlin decides it's an omen and his life is about to change. He's right. Within days, he's broke, homeless, unemployed and getting divorced. He falls so far that he ends up involved in a kidnapping scheme with hillbilly crimelord Rydell Vance. Leavened with dark humor, CALABAMA takes a wry look at California's rural, redneck interior, a bitter, precarious place where it's easy for an outsider's life to spiral out of control.

The Spy Who Came in from the Bin: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel


Christopher Shevlin - 2020
    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

Knitorious Murder Mysteries Books 1 - 3


Reagan Davis - 2020
    I’m an almost-ex-wife, and former full-time mom who works part-time at the local yarn store. The biggest mystery I’ve ever solved is finding a missing knitting needle tucked behind my ear after spending all morning looking for it. Someone in Harmony Lake is trying to stitch me up for murder.In a small town where everyone has a secret they want to keep hidden, no one is talking to the out-of-town cop who’s been brought in to solve the case. So, armed with everything I’ve learned from watching murder mysteries on TV, and a little help from my friends, it’s up to me to find the real killer and clear my name. Can I knit the clues together and expose the killer before they unravel and kill again? I hope so, because knitting needles aren't allowed in prison, and I look horrible in orange.If you like your cozy mysteries with a bit of humour, small town Canadian life, a hint of romance, a close circle of quirky, lovable characters that you wish you knew in real life, dogs and cats, and free knitting patterns, there's something in this series for you.Clean read: no graphic violence, sex, or strong language.Each ebook includes a link to a free knitting pattern at the end of the book.Included stories: Knit One Murder Two, Killer Cables, and Murder & MerinoDownload The Knitorious Murder Mystery Books 1 - 3 and start unravelling the mysteries in three entertaining cozy mysteries today!Read FREE on Kindle Unlimited

The Other Hotel


Jack Stroke - 2020
    True tales from a post-truth world)It should have been simple. Go in and steal the cash. But no job is simple when the two guys named Lenny and their buddy Hot Sauce are involved.Sprinkle in a backpacker who is not what she seems, some cashed-up tourists who don’t speak English, a couple enduring the night from hell, not to mention the mysterious Jack the problem solver and you have a night full of sex, drugs and misadventure.If you love hilarious stories that will keep you laughing and guessing all the way to the end, you’ll love Jack Stroke’s The Other Hotel.Get it now.

Worst Case (Charley Gallagher Mystery)


Jack Parker - 2014
    So he is completely unprepared for when he is assigned the case of a murdered high school gym teacher who was found beaten to death and wrapped up in a volleyball net. Encountering the likes of a compulsive overeater, a female gym teacher with an attitude, and an advice-giving dog, Charley's life gets a little crazy.

. . . and Baby Makes Two: A Novel


Judy Sheehan - 2005
    But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.

An Unsafe Pair of Hands


Chris Dolley - 2011
    I laughed out loud in public in response to the quirky plot twists. An Unsafe Pair of Hands by Chris Dolley is a masterful addition to the British mystery genre." -- Barth Siemens Peter Shand is the 'safe pair of hands' - a high-flying police administrator seconded to a quiet rural CID team to gain the operational experience he needs for promotion. On his second day he's thrust into a high-profile murder case. A woman's body is discovered in an old stone circle - with another woman buried alive beneath her. The pressure on Shand is enormous. The media is clamoring for answers, but everything about the case is baffling. Then a local journalist singles out Shand as the reason for the lack of progress, and goads him at a press conference. Shand responds by inventing a lead, and keeps on lying - to the press, his boss, his team - telling himself that he'll solve the case before anyone finds out. And then another murder occurs. And had there been a third? Shand begins to doubt his ability. He's desperate, increasingly unpredictable, pursued by an amorous psychic, and somehow gaining a reputation for arresting livestock. Which will break first? The case, or Shand? Chris Dolley is a New York Times bestselling author. REVIEWS "This mystery is so much fun. The humor is delightful and the plot is complex enough to keep you turning pages to the end... This is by far one of the best summer reads of 2011." -- Jensview "One of the best I've read in years." -- Laura Belgrave "I loved this book." -- Bookworm "This is a very good read. You will want to be sure to have a day off or a quiet weekend ahead of you, because this book is very hard to put down once you get started reading it." -- Kathleen Kempa "I literally struggled to put the book down, only doing so hours after I should have been asleep." -- Aeries

Summer in the Bayou


Caroline Mickelson - 2016
    James (AKA manners columnist Miss Prim & Proper) heads to Sinful, Louisiana to stay with her frail, elderly great-aunt Ida Belle, a woman she's never met. What better place to hide than a sleepy little southern bayou town where nothing ever happens? But when the bullets start to fly, she soon discovers that her aunt Ida Belle and friends are anything but feeble, and that Sinful is anything but quiet. When the corpse of a scorned suitor goes missing, Stephanie decides her best hope to escape a murder rap is to join forces with Swamp Team Three.