This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    Tip well. Never use the word "blossom." Outperform the GPS. Know how to chug a beer (and know that you shouldn't). Always hold the door. Never use emoticons.These are The Maxims of Manhood. They cover every aspect of life: women, sports, sex, the office, family, entertainment, fashion, fitness, and more women. Some of these you'd expect. Some you wouldn't, as they usher in amodern code of masculinity (Your favorite book may not be The Da Vinci Code). In a series of 100 essays, the rules are analyzed, explained, vigorously defended and openly mocked. Every rule has an authorized exception. Except the ones that don't.This book might not be for you. It's only intended for people who fall into one of these seven buckets: 1) you are a man; 2) you will become a man; 3) you were once a man; 4) you are related to a man; 5) you are dating or have married a man; 6) you think that in the future, perhaps, you will date or marry a man; 7) you know, or think that at some point you will know—whether casually or formally—a man.

    Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

     You'll giggle when an EMT reveals his/her most prized possession, shake your head at some of the RIDICULOUS behavior seen in the emergency room, and you'll relate to the frustrations and joy healthcare workers across the globe express in their submissions. Special sections within this volume include: That Darn Cat, DOGgonit!, As Heard on the Scanner, and many more.

     All the best,Kerry and Kurtanp.s. Kurtan wants to make it clear that although this newsletter is in book format it does not make him any of the following:Book WormBook bummerBoffinNerd alertThe lion, the witch and the book wormp.p.s If you don't buy this newsletter that's fine, but we are getting a percent of the profits to donate to the Kerry Mucklowe eating fund, so if you don't buy it I'll basically starve. Which is fine if your conscience can deal with that utter headf***.

    There is no mention of my time as a lumberjack, and my career as a double-agent remains a closed book. Anyway, this is the much more exciting story of how I, Ronald Balfour Corbett, the son of a baker in Edinburgh, became convinced that I had to become an actor. It is the story of how I pursued that goal and eventually achieved it, along the way finding fame as one of the Two Ronnies, and encountering an extraordinary cast of characters." - Ronnie Corbett

    Gavin is an ordinary boy from Essex. Stacey is an ordinary girl from South Wales. The result is a double BAFTA award-winning hit BBC comedy that has become the biggest show since Little Britain. For the first time, Gavin, Stacey, and friends take us on their journey from Barry to Billericay. Fans will delight at materials such as Gavin and Stacey’s family trees, character profiles, maps of Barry and Billericay with key sights and landmarks, Pam’s favorite vegetarian recipes—including the cheese omelette, Nessa’s secret diary—including how she really met John Prescott, Gavin and Stacey’s e-mails before they met, Smithy’s top nights out in Billericay, script extracts, jokes, quizzes, and crosswords. The making of the show is also detailed, including outtakes, the original treatment, unseen photos, and much more.

    It is here that Laxman's sense of parodyand satire find some of their finest expressions. A selection of these rare and masterly cartoons which comment caustically on our social and political character were togethter in the first volume of "laugh with Laxman", and proved to be immensly popular. This is the second volume in the series replete with timeless gems that continue to amuse.

    They're all here in this brand-new full-color compilation comic strip book: Jon, Odie, Nermal, and, of course, our favorite fat cat, Garfield! Leftovers? Garfield doesn't get the concept. The conscientious fat cat does his best to reduce food waste, gobbling all the grub the first time. (Besides, ignored edibles develop low self-esteem.) Garfield fans will feast on this binge-worthy new collection of comics!

    E. Poynor. For less than twenty percent of what you paid for that grande maple-choco-frappa-machacino latte you'll spew out your nose while reading this book, you can learn about an aspect of Alaska most people never think about: everyday life in Alaska. Of Moose and Men: A Skewed Look at Life in Alaska provides a unique insight into the Land of the Midnight Sun, where laughing about the trials unique to the country is better than giving up.

    More than thirty years after it first aired, The Golden Girls retains a steadily growing cult following. The show ran for seven seasons (collecting a staggering fifty-eight Emmy nominations and eleven wins along the way), and over the years, this hit comedy about four fierce and sassy broads sharing a house in Miami charmed millions of viewers with its wit and verve and, most of all, the strength and quality of the friendship between its four iconic characters. Featuring fun and colorful illustrations throughout, Thank You for Being a Friend brings you the ultimate wisdom of Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche. Find out which Girl is your true spirit animal with the -Which Golden Girl Are You?- quiz; get sex and dating advice from TV's greatest vamp, Blanche Devereaux; and master the art of the witty zinger with Dorothy. There are cheesecake recipes for the perfect midnight snack, Golden Girls bingo, profiles on each of the extraordinary actresses who brought these incredible characters to life, and the Ten Commandments of shared house living. Full of inspiration, fashion advice, makeup tips, trivia, and hilarious quotes direct from the lanai, Thank You for Being a Friend is here to help you discover the secrets to maintaining the lifelong bonds between friends who are more like family.

    In this compact guide, Rick Steves covers the essentials of Naples and the Amalfi Coast, including Pompeii, Vesuvius, Positano, and Amalfi Town. Visit Naples' Archaeological Museum, the Pompeii Forum, or the cathedrals and beaches of the Amalfi coast. You'll get Rick's firsthand advice on the best sights, eating, sleeping, and nightlife, and the maps and self-guided tours will ensure you make the most of your experience. More than just reviews and directions, a Rick Steves Snapshot guide is a tour guide in your pocket.Rick Steves Snapshot guides consist of excerpted chapters from Rick Steves European country guidebooks. Snapshot guides are a great choice for travelers visiting a specific city or region, rather than multiple European destinations. These slim guides offer all of Rick's up-to-date advice on what sights are worth your time and money. They include good-value hotel and restaurant recommendations, with no introductory information (such as overall trip planning, when to go, and travel practicalities).

    Still, this first-hand account does shed much light on what it was really like to come under the charge of many different Indian tribes.Although Brayton’s treatment was not entirely negative or positive, his frank and blunt story does much to dispel the romantic stories that have been perpetuated about young settlers’ children who became Indian chattel. It does much to tell true history and dispel any deliberate or accidental revisions. In many cases the Indians treated Brayton well, but there can be no doubt that they stole from him and his family a life that would end up confused and stuck between two worlds. Although Brayton did finally unite with many of his natural family, he never stopped identifying with Native Americans, and he was forced to leave an Indian wife and child behind. In fact, when the War of Rebellion or Civil War broke out, Brayton enlisted and served in an American Indian brigade. Chet DembeckPublisher of One

    We were the very first that revolted, and we are the last to fight against them; and I cannot but esteem it as a favor that God has granted us, that it is still in our power to die bravely, and in a state of freedom." - Elazar ben Yair Many Westerners have never even heard of the Siege of Masada, and those who have may simply know it as an obscure reference to a minor battle fought in a remote location of the Roman world. By contrast, virtually all Israeli school children know the story of Masada as a premier example of nationalistic pride. According to historian Klara Palotai, "Masada became a symbol for a heroic 'last stand' for the State of Israel and played a major role for Israel in forging national identity" Indeed, the heroic story of a small band of fighters facing incalculable odds has many elements that are reminiscent of both the Battle of Thermopylae and the Battle of the Alamo. The refrain “Masada shall not fall again,” coined in a poem on the subject by Yitzak Lamdan, became a cry of resolve in battle for Israeli soldiers in the 20th century, just as the cry of “Remember the Alamo” had galvanized Americans. For decades, the Israelite military used the site of Masada as the location for swearing in their new recruits, and the choice of the site was obviously designed to evoke within the new soldiers a deep sense of connection with their national history. The Siege of Masada was the final battle in a long series of fights that constituted the First Jewish-Roman War. The Roman Empire had established control over the region in the 1st century BCE, when the Roman proconsul Pompey the Great took control of Jerusalem and ceremonially defiled their temple by entering it. This mix of political control and religious desecration was a contentious issue for the Judeans throughout the Roman period, and militant activists opposed to Roman rule, often espousing strongly held religious beliefs, frequently developed large followings to challenge the Roman authorities. This led to multiple violent clashes between the Judeans and the Romans, and the First Jewish-Roman War (66-73 CE) was one such clash (albeit on a larger scale than most). The Roman troops marched through and made their military might felt, first in the northern region of Galilee, then down the coast where they finally laid siege to the capital city of Jerusalem. This left three Roman fortress outposts, including Masada, that had been built by Herod the Great but had been taken over by various Judean factions. Masada was the last of these fortresses that the Romans attacked and proved the most difficult for them to seize, but seize it they did. However, what made this battle qualitatively different from most was not just the difficulty Rome had in retaking control of it with incredibly disproportional military equipment and numbers, but also the actions of the Judean defenders. In the final hours of the battle, just as the Romans were about to breach the walls of the city, the defenders gathered together and committed mass suicide, rather than being killed or taken captive by the Romans. The Siege of Masada: A Historical Drama of the Famous Battle Between the Jews and Romans is a historical drama that portrays the famous battle from the standpoint of a fictional survivor.