Book by Jenkins, Dan

    It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.

    Destiny had other plans for her: summoned to Russia, then considered by most Europeans to be a vast, primitive wasteland, devoid of culture or sophistication, she became the Grand Duchess Ekaterina, wife of the future emperor Peter III. What followed her short, unhappy marriage was a legendary rise to supreme power. At the age of 33, the Grand Duchess Catherine became the Empress Catherine II, ruler in her own right of the largest empire on earth. In this book, you will learn how, during Catherine’s lonely years as a neglected wife in the court of the Empress Elisabeth, she bided her time and amassed the necessary political and military support to overthrow the heir to the Romanov dynasty and seize his throne. You will also learn why, over the course of her 34-year reign, which saw rebellions, foreign wars, popular uprisings, and a string of jealous lovers vying for her favor, she came to be remembered by history under the name conferred upon her by her own people: Catherine the Great.

    No other pregnancy book provides this level of detail, allied with such extraordinary photographs, 3D scans and illustrations which reveal in unprecedented clarity exactly what is happening to you and your baby every single day.From early foetal development to how your hormones prepare you for birth, learn from world-class experts. Plus, obstetricians, midwives and parents advise on your baby's development, medical matters, your changing body, diet, fitness and much more.The Day-by-day Pregnancy Book (previous ISBN 9781405332101) includes a special hour-by-hour rundown of what to expect during and immediately after birth, plus further reassurance for the first two weeks of your baby's life, will give a helping hand through the culmination of your pregnancy, from pain relief to those first intimate and unique moments between you and your child.

    I just want to be known as a clown because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh.” – Red Skelton “All I want to do is to make people laugh, to take the word ‘heartache’ out of their vocabulary” – Red Skelton A lot of ink has been spilled covering the lives of history’s most influential figures, but how much of the forest is lost for the trees? In Charles River Editors’ American Legends series, readers can get caught up to speed on the lives of America’s most important men and women in the time it takes to finish a commute, while learning interesting facts long forgotten or never known. Among radio personalities and television entertainers, almost nobody had a career as long or storied as Red Skelton, one of America’s foremost comedians during the 20th century. Over the course of 70 years, Skelton made crowds laugh from vaudeville to performing as a clown, and while he is best known for The Red Skelton Show and his other variety shows, he also managed a 45 year stage career, as a pantomime or one of the other characters he created over the years. Although Skelton was extremely popular in America at the peak of his career, his entertainment was also a throwback to the early 20th century, which compelled television studios to balk at the notion of continuing to air his shows by 1970, even though his shows had spent almost two straight decades with Top 10 ratings on the air. Understandably bitter, Skelton refused to have his shows in syndication until the 1980s, and by then, the same concerns about his appeal to younger crowds had only gotten worse as he and his show had aged. Skelton is still best remembered for his performances and his television career, but he was also a noted artist who fittingly excelled at depicting clowns on canvas. Despite the seemingly silly content of his work, Skelton’s skills as an artist were so impressive that he made millions of dollars a year selling his art and having it displayed. By the time he died in 1997, it’s estimated that he may have made more money through art than through performing. American Legends: The Life of Red Skelton chronicles the life and career of one of America’s most beloved comedians. Along with pictures of important people, places, and events, you will learn about Red Skelton like never before, in no time at all.

    In a millisecond, her halo crumbles and she has a moment so crazed it is forever known as the one…The Mother of All Meltdowns. The following anthology was written by women who have had their moments. Together we have experienced the anguish and frustration of the adult-sized tantrum. We have shed the tears, dropped to our knees in agony, and asked the age-old question, “Why me?” From poop-decorated rooms to having our liquid gold scrutinized and confiscated by TSA, we’re not afraid to share our collection of thirty tell-all stories. We are survivalists and know that within every meltdown there is a silver lining.

    The station manager who hired him was the first to recognize his considerable on-air talent, and helped start what has become a legendary radio career. Often compared to Howard Stern, Carton has hosted a series of highly rated shows, and in 2007 he joined WFAN, where he and Boomer Esiason host an eponymous show every morning for four hours out of a studio in New York City.In this debut book, Carton invites the reader to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio’s craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.

    Your great-grandmother would be amazed to learn that toilet training has become one of Mom's greatest sources of anxiety and frustration during her child's early years. To Great-Grandma, it was no worse than teaching her child to use a spoon. Rosemond does not write from the perspective of a psychologist, but with the common sense and authority derived from 30 years of counseling parents, and from his two children and seven grandchildren, some of whom he helped toilet train. He advises an old-fashioned approach to toilet training that would have earned Grandma's stamp of approval. This book is helpful, revealing, and funny. Best of all, the method works! Thousands of parents have used it to discover how easy toilet training can be. With his trademark parents-take-control style, Rosemond covers everything from the basic how-to and troubleshooting issues to successful testimonies and proper encouragement. His straightforward and no-nonsense advice utilizes simple steps with proven results. No arguing, bribing, or cajoling necessary. It helps parents avoid common toilet-training mistakes, and leads the way to a diaper-free household.

    The pieces of each mom's life-the work life, mom life, social life, etc.-are mended together through Christ to complete her one whole life, set apart because of Him.This book is a stepping stone to help working mothers reset their spiritual and emotional health, habits, and relationship with God. There are performance pressures at work, home, and mind-sets that affect a mom's ability to feel complete and live more closely aligned with God. This book includes the beginning steps for moms to walk in wholeness and holiness by asking God for more.

    There is absolutely nothing as great, challenging, or rewarding as raising a child." So says Über-mom Rose Rock, who has raised 10 children in addition to caring for 17 foster children in her 40-plus years as a mother.As a mother who does not shy away from the hard conversations, Rose isn't afraid to present strong ideas about boundaries, discipline, choices, and consequences—and she tells it like it is. In Mama Rock's Rules, Rose shares the funny and highly practical lessons she learned both as a parent and an educator, while offering strategies for teaching a child to be self-reliant in this world.Written with a kicky blend of maternal spirituality and a "don't mess with me or you won't get old" sense of authority, the book spotlights 10 vital rules, each tackling a specific parenting issue. From "I Am Your Mama, Not Your Friend," which helps parents regain their authority and establish respectful relationships with their children, to "Don't Lie Down with Anything You Don't Want to Live with Forever," which takes a different approach to the often tricky conversation about sex, each topic is lovingly explained and bolstered by stories from Rose Rock's own childhood and parenting experiences. We will also hear from her own kids, as they share memories and anecdotes about what it was like to grow up in the Rock household.Rose's heartfelt and no-nonsense advice—delivered with a dose of wit and homespun humor—will resonate with thousands of parents and will inspire them to teach their kids right, whether their brood is one child or ten.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    • Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    From full and frank explanations as to why he sometime blows snot bubbles through his nose (because he can) to the mystery of the stalker (if someone had just explained to him about mirrors). From the frustrating stupidity of his parents (Hairy and Smooth) to delights of running around naked on the kitchen table, it's a truly enlightening and delightfully funny read. To every parent who's ever wearily wiped food from the floor and said 'Is this your idea of a game?' - beware. The One Year Old is about to reveal just how much he's been playing with you.

    He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life — his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love. By turns hilarious and moving, Mishka Shubaly’s latest Kindle Single captures the journey we all take in life — from being loved, to giving love. Cover by Adil Dara.